Change Me [Justin Bieber]


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8. Chapter Eight

Ash parked the car in front of Justin’s house after we had had the short time in the studio. We hadn’t really spoken all the way back to his place. It was quite strange, because I had a bunch of questions to ask, though I didn’t know how to ask them or if it was even proper to ask them.

The door was soon slammed behind me as I stepped into the enormous house.

“What was that for?”

“I don’t know…”

I rolled my eyes at him and moved longer inside as I slipped out of my jackets and sneakers. I was still thinking about what happened at the studio, and I didn’t know if I wanted to ask the questions or just take a few guesses on what was about to happen now. I knew the schedule was about to be redone, and that I wouldn’t have the same amount of vocal lessons, everyone was blown away by my vocal, but with the right coaching I would be able to take it even further.

“Why didn’t you upload a video of you singing that song?”

Justin was waiting for me to move on from my daydreaming and argue with myself.

“Because it’s my song and people aren’t supposed to hear me sing it.”

“But you’re so good at it.”

“I know that’s why I don’t want people to hear it. Everyone’s treating me differently as soon as they’ve heard. But I chose to sing it because you wanted me to do my best.”

“ahah…”

We moved into the living room. I sat down in the couch but Justin kept moving around the room. He was clearly thinking of something, and I didn’t know if I wanted to bother him or not.

“There’s something I don’t understand Amy.”

“What is it?”

“You.”

“Pardon?”

“I don’t understand you. You’re such a different person.”

“Is that an offence or is it a compliment?”

“Depends on what you want it to be sweetheart.”

He placed himself beside me and took my hand in his.  The look in his eyes had changed from when we were out in the hall. He was back to being the sweet guy from this morning. The caring, sexy and seducing boy I had kissed.

“How am I different Justin?”

“One minute I can’t figure you out because you’re crying and scared. The next you take the world by storm and it is like you’re completed and healed only by opening up for the music in your life. It’s like its magic on you.”

“Justin it is. Music’s always been my medication. I can do anything as long as I have it by my side. Don’t you think there’s a reason I named my butterfly Lyric?”

“Of course.”

He smiled at me and kissed my cheek. I felt the heat go there, making my cheeks red and blushy, but I didn’t really care, because it was only Justin and me there.

“Promise me you’ll fight through this and make it. Ok?”

“As long as you’re with me Justin … I think I’ll be able to do a lot more.”

“Good, cause I won’t leave you. That’s what they’re making sure of right now.”

“I’m glad.”

Our fingers intertwined as we lay down on the couch and just enjoyed being there for each other. I think we lay there for about an hour just all cuddled up to each other. Justin was playing with my hair and I had wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest. The sun was shining through the window, and for some reason it just felt like everything was alright and everything was gonna be alright from now on. Like I had just won over the haters and the bullies. Like I had won over myself. It was an amazing feeling and it filled me enough to accept myself a hundred percent for a moment. I looked up at Justin, who was watching whatever was on, on the big flat screen on the wall. He turned his face as soon as he caught me moving in the couch and smiled to me as I smiled to him.

“What is it?”

His voice was happy and energetic and it made me smile even more. The feeling of having feelings for the boy I was in the room with filled me and I started giggling a bit. It wasn’t a secret that I had always kinda had a crush on him. I mean he was like the hottest guy in America right now, and his music was so amazing. Besides having my best friend who was totally obsessed with him, didn’t make it easier for me.

“Just happiness.”

I smiled even brighter and felt like my eyes were blinking in slow motion, just like they do in the movies when you see a guy who’s in love with a girl.

I felt Justin’s arm tighten around me in some sort of awkward yet sweet hug.

“I’m glad you’re happy.”

“Me too.”

I buried my head into his chest and cuddled him closer to me. I liked being this close to him. It was comfortable, and it made me feel safe and loved. Feelings I had never been used to, and would never be used to.

“Justin?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s something I still don’t understand…”

“Yeah?”

“How can you say that you’re in love with my personality, when you haven’t seen it yet?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… I’ve been so different here. I’ve done exactly what you’ve told me to, and I’ve had a breakdown. It’s like the world is trying too hard on me; and that the little fragile, yet strong girl I was back home relaxed as soon as she got here.”

“Being relaxed isn’t changing personality dear Amy.”

“I know, but it still makes you different.”

“Different is good. We like different. That’s why you were chosen to come here in the first place. You were different from the very beginning.”

“I guess.”

“You’re over thinking it Amy. You’re perfect for this and I’m gonna help you to the top. As long as you’ll let me.”

“As long as it is you I will.” 

I moved closer to him whilst speaking and ending up locking my lips to his. I had honestly missed them a bit, even though they hadn’t been on my mind a lot. But I guess that sometimes you just don’t realize how much you’ve missed something, before you get it back to where you feel it belong.

It was magic how our lips connected. It was right and somehow, among all the dizziness and the clinging to him, something inside of me changed. The new feeling of being in love filled me up and it felt as if all of the happiness inside of my body was about to explode, but it was still in a good way.

“You keep surprising me Amy Johnson.”

“I do my very best Mr. Bieber.”

I smirked at him and placed my lips shortly over his again before I buried myself in his chest again, the place where my head could rest and I could feel dizzy and half asleep listening to the nice and vulnerable sound of his strong heartbeat.

Justin got the remote from the table and found some movie for us to watch. He was searching for one in a long time. After about 15 minutes of searching he found Iron Man on the TV. Honestly I didn’t mind seeing it. After all it was actually a great movie.

“It’s probably not you, but honestly I love this movie.”

He smiled to me; little did he know that this was actually one of my favorites.

“No it’s okay. I like it.”

“Good.”

We were probably about 20-30 minutes into the movie when someone opened the front door and came in as if they lived there. This made both Justin and I get up, as we didn’t have any security right now and it could be anyone.

“Justin, are you there mate?”

“In the living room, Daniel.”

“Daniel?”

“Yeah, he’s a friend of mine. We go way back, and got back in touch when I first got to New York.”

“Oh.”

Soon a tall pale boy with dark brown hair and very nice eyes entered the room. He was that typical skinny build band boy. He kinda reminded me of some of the vloggers I’ve seen on YouTube. The tall skinny boys, with perfect hair and perfect eyes, that way too many girls drool over.

“Shit. Sorry mate I didn’t know you were busy.”

“No it’s alright. We were just watching a movie. Amy this is my friend Daniel, the boy who found you on YouTube.”

“Nice to meet you Daniel.”

“You too, and way to go with that video.”

“Thanks.”

Suddenly I felt very awkwardly placed in the arms of Justin, and I therefore sat up in the couch so I wasn’t lying on his chest anymore. This wasn’t something for people to see; it was something I wanted for myself and the person I shared it with. Love was private for me, and I hope that Justin would be able to understand that. At least for now… Was this even love, or was I just the toy of the week? Once this was clear for me, the fear was building up inside of me again and I needed to get out before I would have another breakdown in front of the boy I should be thanking. If it wasn’t for Daniel I would probably still be back in Chicago and taking my classes more serious.

Daniel sat down in the other couch and I felt the fear grow even bigger.

“I thought you were supposed to be in the studio all day Marc?”

“Yeah I was, but they’re changing the schedule, because this little sunshine blew them away with a cover of Lean on Me.”

Justin placed his hand on my thigh and he must have felt the way I stiffen under his grip, because the next thing I know he holds my hand and run circles over it with his thumb.

“Will you excuse me for a minute?”

I looked at the boys and got up before any other words were spoken. I heard them speak as soon as I got up but I didn’t feel like listening to them.

“You alright Amy?”

That was the only thing I heard before I left the room.

“Yeah I’m fine.”

The words were only a mumble over my lips, but I’m sure they heard them.

I went into the guestroom that was my bedroom, the room that had brought me so much happiness this morning, and I felt the calm inside of my body spread as soon as I was on my own, but with the smell of Justin near me.

I took out my phone which hadn’t had any of my attention over the past hours. I had a couple of texts and a missed call from my mum.

I called back my mum so she wouldn’t worry too much about me. She was the typical mum, who wanted the best for me, and I really loved it, but sometimes it could get a bit annoying.

“Amy! Are you okay?”

“Yeah calm down mum, I’m great.”

“Weren’t you supposed to be in a studio working right now?”

“Yeah, but they are changing the schedule so we have the day off to get to know each other better.”

I took a deep breath and started walking around the room.

“Are you okay sweetheart?”

“I had a breakdown last night mum… and maybe even second thoughts.”

“Amy, don’t have it on this. This is your chance to do what you’re best to.”

“But I’m scared…”

I started sobbing into the phone. The tears that had been threatening out in the living room were there now. They were running down my cheeks.

“The world is a scary place, you were misplaced, but it’s okay now. Trust me Amy, it will be okay.”

“I know, but it’s such a big pressure.”

“It is, but you can make it. I’m here for you.”

“I know you are.”

“And Justin is there as well. He’s a good kid Amy, trust him.”

“I trust him more than I’ve ever trusted anyone mum. That’s why I’m scared…”

My mum and I spoke about everything. We have been really close ever since I wanted to kill myself.

“Amy you need to focus on the music.”

“I know, but he is so sweet mum. I don’t know what to do. Last night when I had a breakdown I fell asleep on the balcony, but he had carried me to bed, and stayed with me the entire night.”

“I know. He texted me this morning saying you were good now.”

“He did?”

“Yeah, don’t think I won’t be checking on you while you’re there.”

“Yeah okay…”

“But Amy, listen; focus on the music while you’re there and then take everything as it comes. Don’t rush yourself and just have fun. We’re doing this because we trust you and because you need it, so make the best of it instead of being sad okay hun?”

“Yeah.”

“Now go back to your friend. I’ll call you soon okay?”

“Yeah. I love you mum.”

“I love you too sweetheart.”

I hung up and sat down on the bed. The feeling of being worthless filled me again, but only for a short time before Justin opened the door to my room and came in. Apparently I had been on the phone for a long time. He saw the tears in my eyes before he barely got to enter the room. The thing I liked about Justin was that at this point he didn’t say anything; he just sat down beside me and held me tight for however long I needed it.

“It’s alright babe.”

I wrapped my arms around him as well and held him even tighter than I wanted to, but I felt safe as soon as he was close to me. This was what I didn’t understand. He had been the missing piece all along. The person with the magic to heal me and complete me.

“Where’s Daniel?”

“He left again. He lives close so it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry I made your friend leave.”

“Don’t be. He’s knows you’re having a hard time.”

“I hate being scared Justin.”

“I know you do. That’s why you shouldn’t be, but it takes time to get to know new things and know that they aren’t scary. That’s how life is and will always be for you Amy.”

“I hate it.”

“I know, but you have to keep fighting baby girl.”

He placed a kiss on my hair and dragged me with him so we were lying down on the bed. I cuddled up to him and started looking into his eyes. He was beautiful. Before I got the chance to say something Justin placed his lips over mine and made me feel like heaven for a couple of seconds. It was an amazing feeling. When we broke apart I cuddled up and covered myself with his body, and felt how my own body slowly drifted off to sleep. 

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