Diary-a place where I dump my secretes

This is My diary, where I actually dump all my secrets, the things which I cant express to anyone in this world, my problems, my point of view etc etc

hope you enjoy reading it. or may be sometimes able to give me solutions..

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5. Worst day

13/9/15

I always wanted to write something good and happy. But people around me... they never want me to be happy. morning was good. I slept till 10 a.m. and then make delicious Indian breakfast for me and my baby doll. my mom's neighbor called and said they made my favorite "daal-pakwan"(its Sindhi cousin you can search on google its really delicious). I was so happy cause that means I don't have to make lunch. I just made rice for my baby as my mom goes to yoga classes on sunday so she will come back by 12 noon so till that time my baby will may feel hungry.

mom came at 3 p.m. she said she got stuck up for some work and then trains issue. dad has already gone out for some work. neighbor aunty immediately came with delicious food and we started our lunch talk about some random things. mom doesn't like watching TV while having food so I didn't put on. she said she want to take nap as she is tired. I also thought of taking nap. I still breast feed my baby. she will turn 2 in the next month on 11th. I am very excited.

we both got up at 6 pm had tea and I told my mom that I have some work so I will keep baby with her and just finish it and will be back soon. she told me to take baby along I hesitatedly said no because now sometimes my baby doesn't want to walk she want me to take her all the time. but from last month I am suffering from frozen shoulders and calcium deficiency. so I just couldn't.. and then if I have to take her along I cant take bus and taxies are like expensive for such a short distance. somehow mom agreed.

when I caming back on my way to home it was raining heavily. I got drenched. my father was sitting under some shelter with my baby. he told me that baby got bored at home so he came down to take her into the park but due to rains they stuck. we went home. mom told me to set the plates for dinner. suddenly my phone started ringing. its my uncle's call(mom's brother). I told mom and they started talking. later mom called me and told me that uncle wants to speak to me.

I greet my uncle and ask about everyone. he said everyone is fine. as I have done my masters in marketing. he wanted some tips for his new project. he works for insurance company. recently he got promoted as branch manager so now he is responsible for branch target and he is new to all this. I told him some important things and then we decided to talk about it later get some more details as he stay in different state. so some figures we want to work out plan. I came in dinner room and then ... its started.

the worst part of the day... I don't know what was my mistake? me and uncle were discussing something important. and I didn't call him. he called me. but it seems my mom doesn't like when people give me importance. she just burst out and started saying that you cant take care of you baby. you should send her in hostel. I kept myself calm. but then argument went on and on. I left my dinner took my baby and came back to my home. dad started calling but I told him not to call me and don't come today to my place.

I felt so heart broken. I mean how could? how could my mom said that. why I should keep my baby in hostel? I want to see her growing everyday. everyday I tell god that keep my baby safe when I am at office. and I am already going to keep her at baby sitting from next month cause we have already got those vibes from mom that she is now tired of my baby. she cant baby sit her. only problem is her school said she should be atleast 2. then only they allow her for baby sitting. then why mom cant wait just for 30 more days? is it that difficult? then she should have not agreed to baby sit her in the 1st place.

I am tired and exhausted. I can take work load of 100 people but cant handle this emotional torture. its of no use. tomorrow morning I have to again go and see my mom. I have to wait till my baby turns 2.

I called my best friend. and started crying. she tried to console me. she assured me that everything will be alright. from last 10 years. she was always there for me in my all problems. she was there when my parents said they will not help me to give fees for my Masters in Marketing course. she was there when my parents said they will not help me in marriage expenses. she was always there. I will always owe her. I don't discuss my mom's problem with anyone cause I feel shame to tell everyone that my own mom is ruining my life.

I just wish everything should be under my control. from next month I have to keep my baby in bay sitting. I hope she will adjust there.

I spoke to my husband today. he was happy cause he is having party with friends. I chat with him. I didn't tell him all this but just ask him.. does he still love me? fortunately he said yes and he said that he miss me and baby. I just hope he will stay with us once he is back from Coimbatore.

Good Night.

A/N:- its 2:50 am I cant sleep today. I am really hurt. hope everything will be alright. please guys prey for me.

well today is my favorite 1D member's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIALL. LOVE YOU... TIGHT HUG AND KISSES. MAY YOUR ALL WISHES COME TRUE AND ONE WISH COULD BE MEETING ME IN REAL??? :XX

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