Diary-a place where I dump my secretes

This is My diary, where I actually dump all my secrets, the things which I cant express to anyone in this world, my problems, my point of view etc etc

hope you enjoy reading it. or may be sometimes able to give me solutions..

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3. Heartless people

11/9/15

 

I just don't understand why sometimes people fail to understand that they are surrounded by humans like them and robots. humans with heart. I think everyone I this word should be careful with there words. once you said something to someone you cant take back and when those words hurt someone though you realize it its too late.

everyone around me thinks I am machine with no emotions. they keep on talking to me like I will have no affect of there words. it really hurts when your own mom says something very harsh to you.  by god grace I have good job. but that doesn't mean I earn like rich people. I have some expenses like rent, bills etc. no savings. it sucks. but she thinks I have tree at my backyard which gives money instead of fruits and flowers. I really don't know how to tackle this.

I mean since childhood I am trying to prove myself good in her eyes but NO. I guess I will die proving her that I am good human being. you know what there are so many people in my friend circle, office, college they love me appreciate me. they why not my mom???

I was above average student. I use to get good grades. my parents never use to worry about my studies like my elder sister and brother. I was kind of bubbly girl. who can dance make people laugh with jokes or some random things. but then.. I don't know where and when it got change. I started realizing my family hates me. because I am 2nd girl child? and they were expecting boy? may be not. but then what may be the reason.

in my complex I mean where I use to stay. there were my age of boys and girls. but mom never allowed me to get close to boys. she never liked if they appreciate about my dance which we use to do in community functions. then as I grew up I realize that she is may be scared of I may get fall in love with some random guy and get married to him then it will follow my family like black spot. once I realized this I assured her that I will go for arrange marriage(its common in India and its really a fun.. sometime it sucks but really a fun). then she looks little relief. I use to bring all my friends at home so that she should not be worry about my boys friends.

I always use to prey god that please my husband should be loving and understanding so that I could share with him everything. And trust me god sent really a loving husband to me. I am glad. but then.. things got changed and now.. I don't think he loves me anymore. I never wanted to come back to my mom dad for anything. Infact I have decided that I will tell my husband never call my parents even if I am taking my last breath. but things changed and I have to come back to mom dad with my daughter.

things are not that weird I mean we are not divorced or something but yeas we are not staying together because of my mother-in-law and sister-in-law.

so now there are more people who hates me.. I really don't know how to take this?? 

 

Hope I have not really bored you guys.

Good Night

 

 

 

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