Diary-a place where I dump my secretes

This is My diary, where I actually dump all my secrets, the things which I cant express to anyone in this world, my problems, my point of view etc etc

hope you enjoy reading it. or may be sometimes able to give me solutions..

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4. Finally its weekend

12/9/5

Really I just wait for weekend. I mean who doesn't like weekend.. everyone likes I guess. Even I like. I get time to spend with my daughter. I can plan my week, I can do grocery shopping some cleaning and other stuff. and importantly I can sleep till say 10 a.m.  wowow

Well for me weekend means only sunday we have working on satuday I know it sucks but we don't have option. I like my job I mean my profile is really awesome. I work for very well known newspaper as a marketing manager. I am my colleagues my boss all are really very good. we got new project this week and we all are planning for that. I wish I could contribute. my clients are automobiles, entertainment and textile industry. I have make presentation and proposals.. ufff busy week may be months. Next few months are gonna be very busy but I enjoy being busy. I just want to work very hard and want to be very busy. I am ok with that. and I hope I will get many projects where I can keep myself and my brain busy.

Today is Saturday so I can talk to my hubby on Skype or imo. He has holiday he is out of station for 6 months for his office work. After I left his house because of my mother in law. He was actually not talking to me. But then eventually I guess he realized that he may stay without me but not without our daughter. Last week I visited him with my daughter. He was happy. But I really don't know if he still loves me or not. I just hope one day he will understand why I left his house that time. Me and my 1 year daughter were suffocating there. Now atleast we are doing what we want to do.

Last year we both went under general medical check up,  and my ECG report was abnormal. Thankfully my friends are doctors. I consult them they said its very initial you should take care. I told this at home. I felt so bad cause no one even bother to ask me what was exactly the problem? Infact no one came with me at doctor's place. I took my baby and went alone. That time I realized whatever happens I have to be strong for my baby and myself no one is going to help me, and I cant die like this. My baby is my responsibility and I cant just die so that someone else has to take her responsibility.

That time my mom said no problem you should take care of yourself and don't worry about daughter I am there. I felt relief. well my mom and me. we never had good relation since childhood. I never shared my problems with her. she never understands me. but then now I thought she must have changed and genuinely she wants to help me. one fine day when things were out of control I took my baby and left my husband's house. " biggest mistake of my life. " and worst mistake is I went to stay with my parents. I should have never done that. I should have arrange money and take flat on rent. but everything was so sudden I couldn't help my self.

Mom was very welcoming at that point but now things are changing. as soon as my hubby's and my relation is started stabling. My mom and my relation is again back to old. Those words like sharp knife. As soon as I reach home she start throwing words at me like some sharp small knifes or darts. Have you ever felt bleeding only by someone's words?? my mom is best in this. she can kill someone only with her words.

Everyday I prey to god. please help me to make this better. if my baby would not been there I would have left this place long back. but now I have to think 100 times before doing something. I have to be in stable job. Because my home loan and rent and other stuffs. I never felt bad when my mother in law use to say something me. I left when she started putting poison in my husband and my relation by telling some lies to him. I use to feel bad when my hubby use to belief those lies. I left because of that. in a house where 6 people stay together I use to feel alone.

earlier every Saturday-sunday my hubby and me use to come to bedroom after our dinner and then we use to talk about things. How was our week work related issues etc. but then slowly because of her every Saturday he use to watch movies in living room till late night and he use to come to the bedroom after I went to deep sleep. one day he even told me that he don't want to talk to me so he is doing this. so there is no reason for staying there.

Well now atleast he calls me everyday. may be distance help things to get sort out. hoping when he comes back in November he will stay with us. me and my baby we both are missing him.

 

Good Night.

 

A/N: well I just wrote my thoughts. please let me know if you want some changes in this. please vote and comment. also help me with some solutions.

 

 

 

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