algebra ; hemmo

"he's the teacher's son."

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16. 16 - i'm not okay

i don't remember much. a car's bright light. police sirens. the sound of constant rain. "do not cross" barriers. luke. him screaming for help. i remember ashton crying. dawn, too. everyone was crying, really.

"oh my god, elody, i love you so much, i'm sorry, i'm so sorry, i regret everything." i couldn't tell if that voice was luke or ashton.

 

i woke up in a hospital bed, eyes closed as if i was acting asleep, over the sound of concerned voices in the corner of the room. something about needing surgery, some stiches, a collapsed lung, a broken arm, a sprained ankle. something about waiting a few months before i could go back home.

but i didn't hear anything about luke.

i felt a piece of curly hair touching a part of my hand. i opened my eyes and saw harry. his hair was messy and unbrushed. but this might've been the longest time i've seen him outside of the bakery.

he looked up at me, whispering something i could barely even hear. i could hear this, though:

he sniffed, "you know i took off work for you? and that's a hard thing to do, you know. i think i'm fired, by the way, but i don't care. i'd rather be here than at a stupid bakery."

there was a bandage and a tube taped to my wrist. a bit of blood soaked through it, making me even more uncomfortable.

i eventually fell back asleep. i woke up again at maybe 11:00pm at night. too distracted, too confused about luke. about my mom. about delilah. about everything. visiting hours were over, thankfully. i didn't want to see anyone. i just wanted me and my thoughts.

my eyes closed, i hear a door open. it was luke.

i sit back in my sit, shaking my head. "go away."

luke sat down in the chair by the bed that harry was in earlier, taking my hand. "listen, please, elody. just hear my out. i-"

"i don't care, just go."

"i love you, i'm sorry-"

his fingers moved over my wrist, in some kind of desperate way. "you hurt me, luke. you know that?"

he lightly put his thumb over the bandage, looking down. meet me in the eyes if you freaking love me. "it was a mistake. i was drunk and stupid."

i quickly move my hand away from his grasp. "god, luke, is being drunk your excuse for everything? where the hell were you, anyway?"

"busy.."

"busy doing what? screwing aleisha? must be drunk again."

he doesn't respond.

"just go."

 

luke hemmings

"busy."

okay, luke, sure. "busy", apparently, is code for "drinking."

 

delilah sykes

the nurses said i couldn't stay in the room anymore. visiting hours are over, but i still sat in the waiting room. michael was there, and i wish he would leave. he sat closer next to me, taking my hand. i let him. there isn't much i can do.

"are you okay?" he asked, looking at me. i don't look at him back, though.

"yeah."

he began to twist my ring gently, slowly.

"are you sure?"

something snapped inside of me, like i couldn't hold anything in anymore. i'm not okay. not at all.

i stand up from my chair.

"jesus christ, michael, does it look like i'm okay?"

he looks up at me, not saying anything. he looks like he understands how i feel. my own sister. of course i'm not okay.

"my sister got in a car crash, i'm not okay. oh, yeah, michael, i'm fine with her getting in an accident."

i break down in tears, and i hate crying in front of others, this is mortifying. i sit back in my chair with my hands covering my face. how could this happen? stupid luke, stupid road, stupid car. stupid, stupid, stupid.

michael removes my hands from my face and tilts my chin up gently, pulling me closer to him. he kisses me softly, gently, like i'm right on the verge of breaking into a million pieces. which i wouldn't doubt it if i did.

i find myself crying again, my tears getting on his cheeks. he hugs me tightly. he's warm, and his flannel is soft. his thumb rubs over my back. i really need his hugs right now.

--a/n--

hey, you. yes, you. you should read my new story 'the fear of falling apart'. (gET THAT SELF PROMO, MICKEY OhH).

this chapter was inspired by the song 'i'm not okay (i promise)' by my chemical romance.

a lot of you were freaking out from the last chapter lol. now i'm gonna recommend some of my favorite (non-online-but-you-can-probably-find-it-online) books !! ::

bleed like me - c. desir ((i swear this book gets sexual fast bUT I CRIED AT THE ENDING OMFL))

to all the boys i've loved before - jenny han ((this is one of my favorite books by jenny han, and i'm slowly dying waiting for the third book in the series))

the summer i turned pretty - jenny han ((this is by far my all-time favorite book by jenny han. it's the first one i've read by her, and i read the whole series in about three days.))

fans of the impossible life - kate scelsa ((i cried near the ending. two gay boys will do that to you okay-))

love letters to the dead - ava dellaira ((the girl in this story cries a hell lot, and i got kind of annoyed, but the book itself is amazing))

fangirl - rainbow rowell ((all of the fangirls out there will relate to this book so much c':))

alright this was vv long so i'll end this now okbye

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