slam/spoken word poetry.

a depressed otaku boy's shitty poems (:

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3. pretty

(this one is more aggressive compared to my other poems and actually, more of a rant than a poem. but i really think this needs to be said, and this is what i thought while writing this. it's longer than my usual poems, but i really don't mind. it's about self-love and insecurities, something i'm very familiar with.)

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i was never told

to look a certain way

act a certain way

feel a certain way

i was never told

to worry about others' opinions

because i knew it wasn't mine

so how would their opinions

affect me in the slightest ?

feeling as if my freedom was a choice

i wondered if it would end.

as a child i lived my life

proud of my choices

proud in my own skin

proud to be myself

i thought my youth would last

until i began my imprisonment

during my freshman year of highschool.

the girl whispering about me in the hallways

the boys saying i have the chest

of an eight year old little boy

my 15 year old self was shattered

multiple insecurities were found

and i thought my freedom was forever.

sophomore year began

i was scared than ever before

on their stupid opinions

i forgot about my own when i found myself

leaning over a toilet seat

my heart was sore to deperately be defined as

what others called

"pretty."

i stood for hours in my room

staring at my reflection in the mirror

pondering to myself,

"what is pretty?"

my stomach hurt

from starving my junior self.

i just wanted to hear three words,

"you are beautiful"

"you are gorgeous"

"you are stunning"

"you are perfect"

you are you, and that's just fine.

for three years i was ashamed

of my own skin

of my own blood,

people pressuring me to be the next

barbara palvin

cara delevingne

kate upton

"have curves"

"have dimples"

"have a good structure"

well why can't i have my own opinion?

by the end of junior year

i shredded the posters

forever taped to my wall

relieved that i finally have the answer to

"pretty"

which is myself.

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