A story about a girl who, despite her young age has been through more than most adults in their whole life. She still has hope though, all thanks to one man. One man who lights up her world with a smile. She loves him, and he loves her.
But what can she do when that light is lost?
"That's when I lost it. Everything."


1. prologue

"We were everything, everything that we wanted."

"Hey, Jolly!"

I turn around by the sound of my old nickname and I sigh. What do I have to do to get rid of that name? My eyes search for something I recognise before landing on my classmate, Ida. We are not exactly what you call close, so I am not surprised when my thoughts immediatly turn bad. "What is it? I'm kind of busy right now". To be completely honest I'm not that busy, I just dont like being stalled by people who aren't worth my time.

"Whoa whoa, what's with that tone? Is it that time of the month? No... Can't be... Periods only last for a few days, not the whole fucking month." She gives me a mean look and I snicker. There is a very good reason we are not close, multiple really, but the main one is revolved around jealousy, videogames and ironic disturbances.

"Still as foulmouthed as ever I see, so what did you want?" I cross my arms under my chest loosely, waiting impatiently for her to answer. She looks annoyed by this, by not getting the big reaction she was hoping for, but the mood quickly changes when she looks at me. Her eyebrows arent raised anymore, but slightly hardened. She has something to say, but it looks like she dosnt want to. Is it a secret? Is it some big news? I'm getting impatient as she looks over me one last time. What is it that is so serious?

"Just came to say that he is gone." I look closer at her, but she just shifts her eyes to the ground. A confused look crosses my face and the obvious question pops into my mind.

"Who..?" I ask, getting more confused by the second, but even more so, I'm getting scared. Frightened. This is bad... Dont freak out, Jenny, it will okay. I try calming myself down, but only having one anxious mind does little for peace. It takes a moment more before she finally answers.

"Jennifer..." I tense up at the use of my real name. No Jolly. Not even a "Jolly-Jenny" or another sarcastic name come out of her mouth. She looks up, looking slightly nervous, some could even say she is pitying. The annoyance in her voice from before is gone, yet she looks like she wants this to be over as fast as possible. Like ripping off a band-aid. She is serious. This is really bad. "He is gone. Dead. "

For a second I just stare at her unable to fully realise what she just said. Please dont...- "Mads died. Mads Bruun. He was shot during battle."-...Tell me its him...

A moment passes, no reaction. Then I hear a quiet crying. Its coming from Ida. She is looking at the ground trying to wipe away her tears. That is when i break down. I fall to the ground, shaking and screaming.

"Mads..." I mumble his name, but it sounds foreign, knowing I will never call out to him again. I will never greet him again. He is dead. Dead... Oh god...

I think I'm crying... But as i reach up my hand to wipe my eyes I can't feel the wetness I was expecting, I can only feel a lifetime of pain and tears that should be let out not finding a way out. I cant cry. What is the point anyway? He isn't going to come back from the water, this isn't some magic fairy tale. I feel like there is a clogged pipe somewhere in me right now, and the cleanser is gone. There is too much pain, too much bagage and suffering with no outlet. Too much. I hear Ida falling down as well, sobbing uncontrollebly. As i look down on her, i realise that this is reality, and there is nothing i can do to change it or make it better. I'm shaking, but it slowly starts to fade and numbness kicks in. What do i do? I can't allow myself to freak out. It wont help. It wont.

So instead, I lose it; everything.

"We were meant to be, supposed to be but we lost it."

AN: vote and comment if you enjoyed, i will see if i can write the first chapter within the week. This is something that was a very random idea and since i have no real idea for a plot its pretty easy to write, and fun too :3

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