Out Of Bounds

In all honesty, my sister and I had never been close

But one person was going to tear us further apart

His name is Luke Hemmings

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10. 10

It's strange how one person can make all your senses come to life. I feel his mouth on mine, I feel one hand in my hair, the other pulling at my waist. There's a knot in my stomach as I want more, I want Luke. My hands hold his shoulders pulling him against me and then they fall to his lap and I hold his thighs like somehow I need to steady myself even though I'm sitting down. The kiss is slow, painfully slow but it's intoxicating and overwhelming at the same time

"Carly, I-"

Luke pulls away and the back of my head gently rests on the window as I try and steady my breathing. Its when I start to come back to reality I see Jodie's face in my mind. Oh no, what have we done? I open my eyes and Luke's head is in his hands

"Luke?"

He sighs and then looks at me

"Carly, I'm not going to apologise for that, don't expect me to. I'm only going to apologise that I stopped"

"Then why did you stop?"

"Because it could have easily gone further" He shakes his head but smiles

"What about-"

"Jodie? I don't know what to do? I guess I have to call things off with her but I still don't see how we could ever be together. Can you imagine her ever being OK with this?"

"You don't have to end it, not if you don't want to?"

"Carly, I can't stop thinking about you. It's not fair on Jodie to be with her when I want you. But like I said, how can we be together?"

I look down at my lap and try to think rationally. Jodie will never be fine with me being with him. Why would she be? What we are doing is wrong I know it is, of course it is. But that still doesn't change the fact that I want to be with him

"So either way we can't be together. You stay with Jodie, I don't have you, you leave her, I still don't have you. It's a no win situation. What a mess. I feel so bad-"

Tears leave my eyes and I cover my face with my hands

"Carly please don't cry, I shouldn't have kissed you. This is all my fault. I should have stayed away, I just couldn't" I wipe my eyes and Luke holds my hand in his

"I'm upset because of what we have done, I feel so guilty. I'm a bad person. But what makes it worse is that I wanted this, I still do"

Luke leans forward and pushes a strand of hair off my face

"What do you want to do now?"

"I should go home, I told Tom I was going back and it will only look suspicious if I don't"

He pulls my hand up to his mouth and his lips skim across my knuckles. He reluctantly starts the car and I can't help but feeling utterly ashamed about what I've done but it's the sadness that engulfs me more. He will never kiss me again and although I know he can't, this doesn't mean I want it any less

By the time we pull up to my house the sun has set and the surrounding houses are all dimly lit. Luke turns off the engine and then turns to face me. He reaches over and holds my hand again and my fingers perfectly entwine with his. He speaks first but I don't know what else is left to say

"What happens now?"

"I don't know? We are in a bit of a mess aren't we?"

"Maybe we could meet tomorrow? I could drive us somewhere? We could hang out?"

"Is that wise? Isn't that just asking for more trouble? I can't fall for you Luke, not if it means I'm going to get hurt"

"I don't want to hurt you Carly that's the last thing I want"

"I believe that I really do. I just need to think with my head and not my heart on this. I better go. Text me later?"

"I don't have your number"

I smile shyly as he hands me his phone. I type my number in and then place his phone back in his hand

"So, maybe see you tomorrow?"

"It's down to you Carly. I'll wait"

I see the light come on in the hallway of moms house so I squeeze Luke's hand before getting out. I walk up the path and stop before going inside. Luke waves from the car and I smile before watching him pull away.

When I get inside I frown as I can hear laughter coming from the living room. Dad and mom are sitting on the floor opposite sides of the coffee table and when mom looks up she gestures for me to join them. I sit on the couch and look at her confused

"Oh hey mom, my mom who had a headache not log ago" I raise my eyebrows at the glass of wine on the table and mom shakes her hand dismissively

"It went after a few pain killers, your dad and I are just having a game of poker. Would you like to join us"

"Carly can't play poker, she's rubbish" dad grins and now my attention is on him. I look at them both like they are naughty school children and mom blushes

"OK, I'm confused. You don't have a headache and now you and dad are drunk playing poker like everything is normal? What is going on?"

"Well Tom text and said he would be popping over to the golf club after the meeting. Your father didn't want to go even though Tom invited us both so I thought I would stay and keep him company as I didn't know what time you would be back. We thought you would be happy we are getting along?"

"I am happy, I am. I'm glad you're having a nice night"

"Did you have a nice night twinkle toes?" Dad teases and it brings my thoughts back to Luke

"Oh ha ha. Very funny. I am a natural dancer thank you very much! If you will excuse me I'm going to bed. Behave yourselves" I smile sarcastically and dad grins before rolling his eyes. I kiss them both on the cheek and shut the door behind me. I hear their laughter again and it just confuses the hell out of me. What is going on? I feel like I'm in some parallel universe and mom actually looks happy. She has this glow about her that I have never seen but if being friends with dad gives her some type of happiness then it can't be a bad thing surely? I just don't know how Jennifer would feel about all of this. I grab a Pepsi out of the fridge before making my way to bed. I feel emotionally drained. I turn the light on in my room before some reason waking to Jodie's bedroom. I don't know why I'm going in there. Curiosity maybe? Trying to figure my sister out? Hopefully uncover some dark secret which means Luke and I can be together. No, Jodie wouldn't cheat on Luke. She's infatuated by him. That's evident. I walk in and turn on the light. This room is very much hers. Her perfume still lingers in the air and clothes are strewn over the bed. I sit on top of the pile of clothes and look around. Two walls are dark purple and the other two are cream. She has a four poster bed that is covered with netting and fairy lights and above her headboard is a cork board that is covered with Polaroid pictures. There's a picture of her and me from the last time she visited us in Coonamble, pictures of her friends but most of all there's picture after picture of her and Luke. They look like a happy couple, he's smiling, she's smiling, he has his arms around her, she's kissing his cheek. What have I done? He clearly likes her, in fact they look very much in love. I bitterly wipe a tear away from my face and turn the light off before going back to my room.

I turn the TV on and go into the bathroom to get changed into my pyjamas. I brush my teeth and then tie my hair into a loose ponytail and go to get into bed. My phone vibrates and I grab it off the bedside table before pulling the duvet back

*can you discreetly open the front door*

Luke has messaged, he wants me to open the door? Is he crazy?

*you want to come in?*

*yes*

*what if we get caught? I can't*

*its raining! I will give you five minutes to think about it*

It's raining? I look out of the window and Luke is standing behind a tree at the end of the front garden. I shake my head in disbelief and decide to just take a chance. We need to talk anyway. I go down the stairs but my impression of a ninja is a pathetic one! The floorboards creak underneath me and I give up. I open the living room door and mom and dad are still playing cards. They now have the music channel on, some eighties band I don't know blast through the speakers and from what I can see they are on their third bottle of wine

"I don't need to book you two into a alcoholic anonymous meeting do I?"

"Oh very funny dear" Mom rolls her eyes and I grin "what are you doing? Have you come to join us?"

"Hmm no, I've left my copy of twilight in the truck so I was just going to get it"

"I thought you had that on your app thingy"

Seriously does my dad know everything about me!

"It's not the same as actually reading a book! Can I get you guys anything?"

"From outside?" Mom frowns and I roll my eyes. How drunk is she?

"No, I mean in general. Another gallon of wine? Maybe some food? A litre of water perhaps? You have to drive home tomorrow dad, don't do it hungover"

"Carly I am a grown man thank you" dad smiles at me whilst raising his glass and I throw my hands up defeated

"Fine, whatever. Goodnight again"

They both say goodnight in unison and I shut the living room door. I take a deep breath and hope neither of them comes out as I open the front door and run down the path

"Are you insane?" My voice is a whisper even though I'm no where near the house

"Maybe" his grin leaves me lost for words so I just grab his hand and we run back to the house. I put my finger over my mouth to tell him to be quite and then gesture upstairs. He walks up first and I try and follow his steps so it only sounds like one set of feet as opposed to two people sneaking up the stairs

"Carly?"

I'm near the top of the stairs when my mom calls me. I freeze panicked but Luke makes it to my bedroom without too much noise being made. I hold onto the bannister and turn to face her

"Yes?"

"We are going to order some food, we've taken some of your advice. Would you like anything?"

"Hmmm" a thud comes from my room and mom starts to walk towards me "what was that?"

"I left a window open, it's raining out hence the wet hair and the winds picked up. Sure food, yum sounds good" I walk towards mom and guide her back to the living room. I order an eight sliced cheese and tomato pizza which dad doesn't find unusual as I'm always stuffing my face, a side of fries and a side of onion rings. My mom finds it amusing I order diet coke even I've ordered so much food. Rude!

I tell them to call me when it's here and after making sure they are both oblivious to the company I have I leave them to it and go to my room. My bedroom is in darkness apart from the light and sound coming from the T.V and I think that Luke has climbed out of the window but then the bathroom door opens. I quickly shut my bedroom door and silently thank mom for allowing Jodie and I to have locks

"Did she suspect anything? It's dark in here, I nearly fell over the edge of the bed"

"No she didn't, I said I had left a window open. Luke what are you doing here? This is too much of a risk"

"I know, I know it is but you didn't say a lot in the car. I don't know how you feel? I don't want this to be a regret"

He stands in front of me and I run my hand through his wet hair before running my fingers down his chest and unzipping his jacket which is also soaked through. He takes it off and I frown as his T shirt is wet

"Shall I see if Tom has a spare shirt?"

"Carly I don't care about clothes right now I care about trying to sort this" he sits on the bed and pulls me down next to him. I knot my hands in my lap and involuntarily sigh "Carly I will find a way to make you talk" he playfully warns and I smile

"I was in Jodie's room earlier and I saw photos of you and her, you looked happy Luke. I can't help but feel that I've just came along and somehow just made things seem a little more exciting because I'm different to Jodie? You've only been with her for a few months, surely things aren't bad already?"

Luke sighs and then rubs his face. He leans his elbows on his knees and rests his chin on his hands

"We've been together just over three months now and I don't know if I can say one hundred percent things were ever great. The thing with Jodie is she is beautiful" Ouch. I know I'm not beautiful, I am far from it. If he thinks she's beautiful then why the hell has he even looked at me! I'm the ugly duckling "don't look at me like that, she is beautiful but sometimes I think that's all there is. Just this extremely good looking girl but no substance. I know she's your sister so I'm trying to word this right. I feel I'm in a no win situation regardless of what I say. But Jodie can be cruel, she manipulates people, she talks down to people, me included. Sometimes I wonder if she really likes me or likes the fact she has a boyfriend more. The day I saw you I was planning on cooling things off with her, I swear to you I was. But then I met you and I knew if I did there was no way Jodie would even let me speak to you. She's possessive and jealous that way. We were at a party a few weeks ago and a girl was taking to me. I know her from school and she's like an old friend I guess. It was just talking, nothing more nothing less. When Jodie and I was walking back from the party she started screaming at me. She said I was flirting and that the girl was attracted to me. She slapped me around the face twice. She kicked and scratched, I couldn't calm her down. I would never raise my hand to anyone, especially a girl. She apologised the next day and I forgave her. I don't know why but I did. And then as I said I met you and you just, you just made me smile. I thought I had seen beauty with Jodie but that's because I hadn't met you. You rival Jodie because you're beautiful inside and out and that is why I can't stay away. Because I don't want to. So I repeat, how do you feel?"

"Carly, foods here"

I close my eyes as mom calls me from downstairs. Luke bites his lip and because I can't tell him how I feel right now I lean over and kiss him. I lean my forehead against his, I don't want this moment to be over yet I want to take in everything he's said

"Carly, food. Are you asleep?"

I open the bedroom door and bound down the stairs

"Are you sure there's no one up there? I thought I could hear talking?"

"Mom who on earth would be up there? I only know Amy and I wouldn't sneak her in would I? It's probably the TV, I'll turn it down a little"

"You don't have to do that sweetie, your father and I are just about to watch a film. Care to join us?"

"What film is it?"

"The fourth kind" dad says as he walks into the kitchen

"You know I won't watch that!"

He shrugs innocently and I throw one of my fries at him

"Why won't you watch it?" Mom asks intrigued and dad laughs whilst taking a slice of his meat feast pizza

"Because Colleen after Carly and I watched it our daughter spent the week sleeping with the light on as she thought she was going to be abducted by aliens"

"What? Why would you think that honey?"

"Because mom the films about alien abduction? Also dad and I live in a remote part of town by the river, If that doesn't scream 'abduct me' I don't know what does"

"Oh Carly you are funny" mom laughs and I roll my eyes. They are acting like two juveniles

"Ok, that's very nice of you to point out. I'm going to watch Bambi or something. Now goodnight for the hundredth time tonight" I leave the diet coke in the carrier bag and sling it over my arm as I juggle the pizza and the two small boxes of sides. Mom and dad go into the living room and I make my way up the stairs, again! I open the bedroom door and Luke rushes forward and just about grabs the pizza box before it falls

"See you are the perfect girl for me, you even have food" he grins and I can't help it, I can't stop smiling around him. He places the boxes on my dressing table and I pull him into the bathroom so I won't have to whisper so much

"Luke, about what you said. Violence in a relationship is wrong. What Jodie did was wrong, she shouldn't hit you, ever. It makes me so angry to even think about it" I shudder and he pulls me closer to him "what we are doing is wrong too, but I can't stop this now. I can't stop my feelings for you. I don't want to give you an ultimatum but if this is going to work then you have to break it off with her. She's going to the university of Perth, maybe then there could be an us, I hope there can be-"

"There can be Carly. If we try"

"Well then to save my conscious I don't want us to do anything again. Not until you are single. Regardless of how I feel she is my sister"

"But she isn't back until Friday. That's three whole days"

"You said you would wait"

He groans in frustration but then kisses the end of my nose

"So I can't kiss you? Hold you? Touch you?" He runs his fingers up and down the inside of my top and feeling the warmth of his touch on my back somehow sends goosebumps all over my body

"As much as it will be torture, no"

He removes his hands and steps back

"Well that is going to be a challenge"

"But, to ease the blow of what I've proposed how about staying? We could eat pizza, watch a movie and then tomorrow we can just go from there?"

"So I can't touch you but you want me to stay? That sounds like punishment"

"Really? That sounds like perfection. For tonight at least" he holds out his hand and I take it, this we can do I suppose. He leads me back into my room and we watch this is the end whilst stuffing our faces with pizza and the extra food I ordered. Soon my eyes feel heavy and I put my back to his chest as he slowly strokes my arm. I want to turn over, I want to face him, I want to feel his mouth on mine again but I know I can't. Soon I feel his chest slowly rise and fall and I know he's asleep. I don't what is going to happen and I can't seem to shake the guilt away but the desire to have him outweighs all of that. I leave any morals behind and as I fall to sleep next to him I also fall for him even more

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