My Felix

Felix is a beautiful mystery that I intend to figure out .

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1. the night you broke my heart

 

He looked at me disappointed. 

"I don't wanna talk to you ... Right now " he said. He grabbed his jacket and walked outside and slammed the door behind him. I ran after him. I was not going to let the love of my life walk away.

"Wait!" I screamed to him. He turned. The night was warm. It was just getting dark outside.  

"Please don't go " I said as I stepped closer to him. "Why would you lie?" He asked. "I just ...seeing you with her hurt me. I , I still love you" I stuttered out. But as soon as I said it I was happy I did.  

"Stop. You can't keep doing this too me" he said as he stepped closer to me.  "Doing what? Being in love with you?" I asked confused and upset. "It's too late...I love her now" he said looking at his shoes. "What's so great about her ?" I asked as I stepped closer to him. Now I could feel his breathe. His eyes sparkled as he looked at me.   

"She's nothing like you" he said.  I stepped back. My heart dropped. My eyes watered quickly. He looked at me like he regretted what he said. He looked down. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean wh-" he began to say.

I shook my head as a tear fell down my cheek. Then a lot more began to fall quickly down my face.  

"No, you meant it . I-I im sorry " I stuttered out. 

I walked away and ran into the house. I laid on the couch and dug my face in my pillow. I cried myself to sleep that night.   Days went quickly but nights went slowly. I felt so alone. So empty. My phone was dead so I got no calls. And no one came over. I watched Netflix and ate popcorn all day. I was emotionless on the outside but inside I couldn't breathe . I felt as if I was suffercating.   

Finally two weeks later I got a knock at my door and it was the last person I exspected. It was her. It was marie. She faked a smile and I let her in.

  We were silent as we both sat down.  "Me and Felix broke up" she started the conversation. I nodded but didn't say a word. I didn't even care to give one look to her. Because I didn't care if they Wern't Togetheranymore.  

"I know I shouldn't have come here. But I didn't know where else to go. I was sitting in the car crying and thinking who should I go see, who did I want to talk about Felix with.." She said looking down at her hands. I inturupted her.   "You came to the wrong place, I don't want to talk about Felix , or you, or you and him" I replied.   She said nothing.    " I get it marie. You had him first. You guys were together for more than two years then you left him. Marie you left him. You lost him. And Felix ....I love him so much. And I'd do anything just to be with him. And I don't mean be with him , as in form of a relationship. I want to be with his physically and mentally. I wanna see his smile. And smell his cologne. I want to hear his jokes and his beautiful laugh. But I can't. Because he chose you. The one that hurt him. And now he has hurt me. But I'm not him Marie. I won't choose him" I said.   She looked up at me.  "But he's worth it". I don't know what it was but when she said that it got me so upset. Like everything that was bad just all came together when she put those words into a sentence. I took a deep breathe and said camly, "get out". With no response she stood up and walked out. I locked the door. And began to cry once again.   I had my back to the door and fell onto the floor crying, which I had done once before.  

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