Rants, Imagines and What Nots

Rants (Pretty Self-Explanatory)
Imagines of Whatever is requested

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7. Being Yourself and Some Random Shit

Always be yourself. Its something I could never learn. I sometimes don't even know who I am. Yeah, we all feel like that sometimes, you know? But its not like how you guys think. I tend to change. Like, I can be someone in front of someone and someone else in front of someone else. I try not to do it. But it just happens. I also don't know how to people NO. Yes. Its just 2 letters. Two syllables. But I can't say NO. It makes me feel mean. The only thing I can say about myself with surety is that I can mask my emotions very well and I deal with every shitty situation sarcastically. Im not even lying. If someone did something to me, just to get rid of all my anger, I won't speak to the person for sometime. It might seem like a good thing to do but its really not. Its better to speak to the person and tell them what you think they did wrong instead of completely ignoring them so that there is a slight possibility that they won't do it to another person. Also, I also ended a lot of great friendships that way. I don't know. Sometimes people complain about me. They tell me that Im completely shutting myself down. That I don't let people in. You can't really blame me. I just don't trust anyone anymore. They say people learn from their mistakes and I have. I learnt to never trust anyone anymore. Its funny that nobody still know everything about me. NOBODY. Can you think about that? People know parts of my life. Not the whole story. Back in the days I used to cut, people didn't know. When I told 'em they said I have a life better then theirs. But they knew only 1/3 of 1/2 of my life. Maybe thats why I don't have a best friend. Okay. Maybe I do. But I don't think a lot about it. She knows about as much of my life as the rest of my friends. Nothing more. And they know 1/3 of 1/2 of my story. I just can't trust anyone. The time I start warming up to a person, they either stop talking to me or move away because of University. Its funny I have a lot of older friends. Im just 15 and I have friends in University and some of 'em even have a job and are married or on the verge of getting married. Sheesh. I can't even get a boyfriend but I don't care. Most of the guys I know are real pains in the ass. Back to my original topic: Always be yourself. Don't let people think you are something that you are not. Its not a good thing. Might seem like that for sometime but its really not. Lets take friends for instance. Isn't it better if your friends know who you really are so that they can completely understand you? If you are what you are, you will have the type of friends that like you for who you are not the people who like the mask you've worn. Even if you're a loner, Ill be your friend. Now this is not pity friendship. Not its not. I genuinely think that nobody should feel alone. They say talking to people online is not good but I found a really good friend in England that way. As long as you don't abuse the information that the other person has given to you, everyone is happy! When I feel lonely and like no one is there (not the depressed kind. Just the empty feeling) , I listen to music and my favourite artists because I know they will always love me no matter who I am even though they don't know me. "My shadow's the only one that walks beside me My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me 'Til then I walk alone" That all for today folks! Stay Strong Yours Truly, Ruth a. Quadros
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