just Sex

In a moment of weakness, a marriage dissolves.

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2. Home Run

Chapter 2 Home run:
By the time I had reached my house, I had almost completely convinced myself that if two people come together for just the purpose of physical pleasure, then it isn't adultery or prostitution, but ultimately, it was a form of surrogacy.  In the place of what our own spouses were unable to provide, we found solace and a moment of shared joy in another willing soul in their own similar circumstance.  As I opened the front door, reality whipped my almost immediately out of my delusional state as I saw my wife sitting silently on the couch in front of the television.  Her face had filled with tears.  I knew it had to be from anger, as she had always been tough on me to let her know when I would be late.  I was confused more by her silence than anything she could have said.  
“What happened this time?” She said flatly, her eyes never completely leaving the lit screen in front of us.
“Everything went wrong at once, I am really sorry I didn't think to call.” I said, half hiding the truth, attempting to gauge how much my wife knew.
“You never do.  But, I guess that's what I signed up for when I married a technology person.” She continued flatly.  Her deadpan reaction hurt even more than her words, as I knew my wife to be full of life early in our marriage.
“I made dinner, its on the counter.” She said, motioning for the kitchen, I had already headed there, fully expecting something in the crockpot, or cold casserole.  From then on, I had lost all feeling, physical or emotion.  I didn't expect her to be there when I returned, but it appeared that her episode had not finished by that time, so I carefully sat down.  My wife slumped over, her head resting against my shoulder. 
Initially, I had forgotten about what had just transpired, so I didn't think to cover or mask what Christine had left on me.  So, for a few seconds, I was surprised when my wife joked away, pulled completely out of her stupor.  She drew back closer for verification, and then I knew immediately what she was smelling.  I started to recoil for the impending beating, my eyes closed instinctively as I started to brace for the unholy beating a woman half my size could unleash.  But, after a minute of waiting, I opened my eyes again, to see something I had never expected or planned for in any of my contingency planning on the way home.  My wife had slunk back down in the other direction, into an almost fetal position, slowly sulking.  A part of me wanted to declare victory for getting away with what every man would consider a glorious feat, but the more I looked at my wife, silently sobbing, making herself as small as she could into the end of the couch, the more I wanted her to respond with wrath.  Oddly enough, if she had beaten me bloody, I probably would have felt better than how I felt at that moment.
“I'm sorry that I led you to her,” she said quietly, in a was apologizing for what I should have been.
“It was completely my fault, I lost control, I'm the one who had sex with her.” I responded, ironically defending myself with the truth.
“But if I had been enough for you, if we had a good enough love life, you wouldn't have needed to turn to her for release.  I'm sorry that it’s been so long since we've been together.” my wife said, looking sheepishly back at me in a conflicted mix of anger and sympathy.
“But I still shouldn't have done what I did.” I said, cautiously wrapping my still fragile wife as she fell into me.
“I guess that makes us even.” She said, oddly enough in a way giving my consolation and permission to feel good about what should have been a devastating start of what should have been a quick and honest divorce.
“This doesn't make me feel any better, but I guess you are right, I gave you full permission and license once, and this must be my one chance.”  I said, remembering how I felt when she had come home after seeing her childhood boyfriend on a visit. 
“So, where does this leave us, should we each look for a place to live, start dividing up the assets, bring out separate beds?” She responded, her eyes getting wild at the moment, then looking down back at me.
“Legally, there isn't another choice, I have committed adultery, and you have every right to dissolve this union, and take all that's yours.” I said, resolutely standing up, starting to walk away, only to find my shirt had been caught I thought by the table.  I turned around slightly to free myself to find the it was my wife who was holding on delicately yet fervently.  Her reaction baffled me, as every part of her had to be furious and there should have been a vengeful evil running out for righteous indignation.
“But what if I don't want to give up on this adultery, philandering, admittedly useless pile of vomit I'm married to?  What if I do still love this idiot who didn't know what he had in the first place?” She said, oddly flirting in what had to be the most awkward moment I had ever experienced.  By then, I didn't know whether to run away because she had become insane, or be immensely turned on at a new side of my wife I never knew existed.
I sat there stunned for while, my mind still trying to work through the concept of being completely and irrevocably guilty, and yet still needed and loved by the one who has every right and license to not.  My  silence surprise my wife also as her normal reaction to get up, leave the room, or continue the paused episode had been thwarted by of all thing me.  She sat there with an equally puzzled look on her face as if to validate why she really would want to stay with someone who is admittedly unfaithful, but still came home, and admitted himself.
“So John, what would you like me to do about this?” She said, her tone changed, piercing the silence.
My mind at that moment went blank.  Ironically, this was the one condition I had not prepared for on my ride home.  I had no problem packing up and leaving, or just ignoring the problem as she and I had done for so many other problems over the years.  The concept of staying with someone whom you have only an obligatory connection to was also incredible simple when neither side had any input or concern.  The hardest part comes when one side realizes how far they had stranded themselves, and makes a sincere, legitimate effort at what used to be of second nature. 
I hadn't noticed that I had been unintentionally avert my eyes, which at this point had started to tear up.  I had an almost repulsive reaction when I felt my wife’s warm, soft hand lightly cup my cheek.  Sheepishly, I looked back towards her to see not a fiery, indignantly scorned woman hell bent on revenge, but a site I had almost forgotten existed.  My wifes face had an inviting look that told me as only she could that my problems and role were still there.
“I am still in need of an answer John, I need to know whether to call my lawyer and get this breakup started.” She continued, now jokingly.  My feelings or fear and self resentment dissolved, and I slowly leaned over and kissed her, lightly on the lips.  After all I had experienced, I was physically exhausted, and the adrenaline had almost completely worn off.  As I turned away, and attempted to get up to go to bed, I felt a strong arm locked on my wrist.  Confused, I looked back, immediately bracing for what I was sure to be a swift slap or left hook.  Instead, my wife had almost completely gotten her top off and   seemed edgy.  Almost by instinct, I turned around to almost be knocked over as she leaped at me with full force, her legs wrapped tightly around my waist.  Her hands doing everything they could to rip every shred of clothing off of my from the neck down.  Her work and ferocity made it impossible to defend, so her strong shove toppled me immediately.
“So, how did she feel?  Has it been too long that you have forgotten what a real woman can do?” My wife by now had completely stripped me down completely, I lay helpless on the floor.  She almost completely impaled herself on my hips.  I hadn't even noticed that she had also completely impaled herself with my large shaft.  
At this point, memories of deja vu rocked me back into reality as suddenly feelings of euphoria, pressure and blood flow began raging throughout my body. I looked down in shock this time, at my now submerged member and desperately looked for an ever more important telltale ring of a condom.  It's absence made me panic as I remembered distinctly the last two times that this condition coincided with the conception of my first and second child.  My fear stricken eyes at first caused my wife to stop with her increasingly intense thrusting attempts to completely remove all evidence of me inside of her, but then this only caused her to continue with even greater force.  Unfortunately, by this point my mind had overwhelmed my body, and in spite of extreme physical and visual stimulation, fatigue had completely removed all energy from my body, and blood from my member.  A tear came to my eye as my wife dismounted, walking away in a huff.  Normally, I would have done everything I could to keep her there, if only for mutual consolation, but after all that had happened this night, I could no longer keep my eyes open, and faded into a limp, deflated sleep.  

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