My Side of the Tapestry

A collection of my thoughts, feelings and what it's like to be me. ~Warning: Extremely depressing~

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7. 8/9/2015

Tonight's walk went well.

Almost got bottled outside a nightclub, got followed halfway home and some guy tried to drag me to his flat. I was almost tempted to go with him after having my heart crushed by you reminding me that you're trying to get that girl.

I'm not sure I care what happens to me anymore. I'm bored of wishing you'd come back, but I know I can't give up on you. I still want you. I wish I didn't. You won't leave my head, my heart, my soul. 

Is it wrong for a part of me to wish that everything goes wrong and you come running back to me?

They want me back on my meds. I don't know if I want to do that. I don't know if I can take away my emotions, all of them. Without them, I'm not me. Sometimes, I like the conflict of my warring emotions. I feel normal. 

 

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

 

[My Immortal - Evanescence]

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