My Side of the Tapestry

A collection of my thoughts, feelings and what it's like to be me. ~Warning: Extremely depressing~

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2. 2/9/2015

Today, I'm better. Maybe. I don't know. I still glance at the tablets, wishing I had more. I treated myself to art supplies thinking maybe a bit of retail therapy would help me but all the way home, I could only think of drawing you. With music in my ears, I watched the world fade away to black before I saw nothing but you. I felt nothing but the pieces of my heart cracking further. I turned down a road and another until I got lost. But I never stay lost for long. I can never escape my reality. I see the tall blocks of flats surrounding me, dark thoughts scream at me. I stop and ponder the possibilities but I push it all away, focusing on the music, drowning my conscious in German lyrics, translating what I can. I finally see my flat, depressing brick red, nothing but a mess waiting for me. Tonight I know will be spent with music, paint, graphite and wine as I try to drag myself back up this deadly spiral down which I'm sliding. A battle that I fight, day in, day out.

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