Fixing my life

* Note that this is a sequal to Being reckless one more time. Highly suggested you read that first! *
Hannah has been struggling to be herself and to finial break free of the mold her parent's have set her in. After struggling with former relentionships she is now starting collage. Learning and growing. However, she is still struggling with her Ex; Ashton Irwin. Even if there friends, she still misses him but is too scared to start things up again. He has been patiently waiting for her , but could it be too late. Will she move on or will he? As Hannah tries to find her self , she is trying to decided their fate.


[ so this is probably the worse blurb ever! I will try and edit as I continue the story, but please give this a chance and read the first story in case you have not yet. Also please feel free to comment and like and favorite, it would mean a lot thanks! Xoxox]

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12. Chapter Twelve

 Hannah's P.O.V

               When I woke up, my head felt like it exploded. After a few minutes awake my surroundings finial took in and I realized that I was in the worst place possible. Ashton's apartment. I was in his bed and I looked around and it seemed only I occupied the bed for the night. I was still fully clothed and everything was with me. I decided to try and make a run for it now before I see him. I opened his door and prayed he was either asleep on the couch or gone.  After a few steps out to his living room I heard him say ," Hey." From the kitchen. I looked over and saw him in his sweats. I wanted to die then and there.I said a small,"hey ." Back to him. He motioned to the table as he held two cups of coffee. I generously walked over.

        We both sat at his table and silence filled the room. I guess neither of us knew what to say . Until Ashton said," I know its none of my business, but since when did you get drunk like that? You passed out on a bench." I gulp not really wanting this conversation.. " Well that's the new me." He looked me in the eyes and said ," Hannah I know you and you're not that kind of girl. I know that you hated drinking before and I know Blake was helping you with that , but still I know you and I know that's just not you." Anger filled me for an Odd reason and I shouted at him ," Don't you dare say you know me. We been apart fro months and people change,I changed. Get used to it!" I turned to leave right then and there. However, before I could even reach the door. Ashton grabbed me and turned me back around. I ended up bumping into his chest. " Hannah, What's wrong, don't lie to me please?" He let go of me and I backed off. I sighed and I could already feel the tears coming out of my eyes. I said softly," You wanna know what's wrong, When you left the last day you visit, you cut me off as I was about to say something important." I breathe in deeply scared. I could see him open his mouth to say something and I interrupted and said," NO , it's my turn to talk. I remember I said I don't know and you never let me finish. I was gonna say, I don't know , but I love you and don't want to let you go. That I needed you. Ashton I may not know who I am anymore, or what the fuck is wrong with my life, but I know that I love you and that no matter what I want you, but I can see I'm too late . You deserve way better then a fucked up girl. You deserve way better. " I took a deep breath , the tears clouded my eyes and I tried to dry the tears.

                             The roomed was filled with silence and I said the last of my words," And every since you left me for good the day, I been going down on this roller coaster of misery. I realized that the only good thing in my fucked up life was you. The hope of us prevailing through this all, and It's gone now. And it's all my fault and I accept that. Now you know why I am not my self and now I am going to leave. Goodbye Ashton." At the I left and he did not try and stop me. The walk back to Blake's was painful and long. However, I do feel better getting that off my chest, but now I am still fucking alone. When I got back to Blake's house , it was empty . Kate left me a note saying that they were at their uncle's for the day and will be back later at night. I went to my room for the break and laid down and cried like I never cried before.

 

 

                             A/N
                               Hey guys, I don't know about this story any more. I'm just not feeling it anymore. I don't know if I'm going to finish this. I'll keep you updated on my plans for this story. Regardless, hope you like the update :)

 

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