Fixing my life

* Note that this is a sequal to Being reckless one more time. Highly suggested you read that first! *
Hannah has been struggling to be herself and to finial break free of the mold her parent's have set her in. After struggling with former relentionships she is now starting collage. Learning and growing. However, she is still struggling with her Ex; Ashton Irwin. Even if there friends, she still misses him but is too scared to start things up again. He has been patiently waiting for her , but could it be too late. Will she move on or will he? As Hannah tries to find her self , she is trying to decided their fate.


[ so this is probably the worse blurb ever! I will try and edit as I continue the story, but please give this a chance and read the first story in case you have not yet. Also please feel free to comment and like and favorite, it would mean a lot thanks! Xoxox]

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13. Chapter 13

Hannah's P.O.V

   I ended up falling asleep while crying and woke up late at night. I could tell that Kate and all them were finally home and I just stayed here all quite because I just can't stand to be with anyone right now. I just can't hold on anymore. I'm done with everything and everyone. I just want to go back to my dorm and hide forever. My life feels  like I'm just constantly being pushed down.  Luckily with it being night, no one has decided to bother me assuming that I am sleeping. I just can't wait to go back to my dorm, I can't wait to go back and not worry about running into Ashton. If I could run far away and just start the fuck over i would, I would do it in a heartbeat.

      The morning came all to soon, but it brings me a day closer to leaving. I dreaded going down stairs and having to face Blake. I just fuck up all relationships in my life. As I walked down the stairs I prayed that they have left or are still sleeping. My pray, however, was not answer. And to make it worse, The only person in the kitchen was Blake. Just great. As I walked in i kept my head down, afraid to look him in the eyes. I eventually heard him say," I shouldn't have left you alone the other night, I'm sorry."  I looked up at him and said," No, I'm sorry for being an ass. You were right and you were looking out for me an I'm sorry," Tears started to fill me eyes, " These days I just don't know how to hold on anymore. I just want to run and hide and I cant take it , I can't hold on and that's why i been getting so drunk . At least for a few hours a night, I don't have to worry about anything. I don't have to feel anything at all."

      Blake held on to me and said," I know it must be tough and that it seems hopeless Hannah, but please this isn't the way to handle it. We're going to get through whatever this is, I promise." And when he said these words, as much s it sounded like he meant it. My brain just whispers he didn't. I couldn't tell him this though . He eventually let go of me and we ate breakfast together and he decided to plan a day of fun for us. His first plan was the go cart track. That eventually turn to a bust because we all found out that while we were away they took it down and replaced it with a new bank. He plan be became go to the mall and he will pay for anything ( that wasn't a hundred dollars or more).

               I will admit his attempt to make me happy worked, I was glad that he went through this trouble for me, but when the day end and we went back to the house all my troubles came back. it's like they were drowning me the minute I stepped into solitude. I decided to take a shower in hopes I could wash it away. In hopes I could just push them down a drain and never seem them again, but we all know it won't work.They'll pop up again and again and never leave me the fuck alone. I'm stuck with them and they're stuck with me. The shower took my mind off things for a while , and after i went back to bed. Hoping tomorrow come sooner, that maybe Kate an Blake will want to leave first thing in the morning. I just want to go and hide , but someone always finds me.

        Ashton's P.O.V

                I never expected to see Hannah in the club, I never expected to see her get drunk off her ass, and I never expected her to still care for me. Hearing what she said made me feel like I fucked up big time. That if I listened to her but I would have known she loves me still. When I saw her though , I could see how far she is spiraling. She has gotten thinner as if she's not eating and she's getting drunk out of her mind that she passes out black cold. When I brought her home from the bench that night, I just wanted to hold her until she was better. Her skin showed her lack of going out and exhausting was on her face. She looks horrible and I just want to make her better again . Knowing she still cares I just have to try right?  eventually I know what  have to do and I pulled out my phone and  texted," We need to talk, ASAP! meet me at the local coffer shop immediately!" I then grabbed a coat and headed to the coffee shop.

A/N

   Hope you enjoy this update, more will becoming soon :)

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