But I'm only human..

'His hand brushed down against the skin on my face. The warm air around us felt nice, but at the same time my thoughts were burying me into the warm depths of hell. "It'll be ok." He said, reluctantly smiling at me. But sweet Jesus, no it wouldn't.'


5. 5

It had been a few days since Lizzie's party. No one had really spoken to me, as apparently I'd got a little hammered and thrown a few insults around. I couldn't remember a thing of that; Luke was the only thing on my mind.

It was Tuesday morning, Monday had been a bank holiday, therefore we weren't at school. I tied my red frizz up on the top of my head, in a loose and messy bun. I lined my eyes, filled in my brows and splattered foundation all over the mess I called my face. My mum had been away with work all weekend, meaning I hadn't showered, got dressed or moved really for the past three days.

As much as the thought of school excited me, as I tied my tie I was nervous. What if I really was overly drunk, and had imagined the whole thing with Luke? What if he was drunk, and couldn't even remember the kiss?

Furthermore, what if I'd lost all my friends through harsh comments I'd made? Only time would tell. So as I walked into school that cold Tuesday morning, I felt awful towards everything and everyone, with an unexplained reason why.

'Look who decided to show!' Abbi geared as I made my way across to my table, of which she was sat on. 'Could've at least answered your texts, stupid shit. We were worried!'

My cheeks began the flush, probably matching the colour of my hair.

'I was busy, I guess. Sorry guys..' I replied, guilt falling into my voice.

'Fine,' she said, 'But at least tell us what happened with Luke after you guys left. I mean, you told Eva you were off home, but she saw you go into his house. I'm hoping you're still in the Virgin circle?' She laughed there, a little too harshly for my liking. Honestly, I'd forgotten everything. I remembered the kiss. I remembered leaving. But really? Surely I didn't fuck him? I can't have done. No way.

Time seemed to pass slowly that day, conversation topics often darting back to what everyone called 'Lophie', which seemed pretty ridiculous to me. Top year of school, and still, they made the petty jokes and ships. For some reason though, I was more bothered by the fact Luke, who stared at me continuously throughout lunch, had now joined my neighbours clan. That bothered me, way more than it should have. But the boy, the boy with the messy blonde hair with hints of brown, his deep eyes and rather attractive lips. The boy looked at Luke like dirt, as if he was a nobody. Which was peculiar to say the least, as all the other boys seemed very fond of him.

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