Peter and Brian in 'Rabbitbusters'

In this Seth Macfarlane cartoon adaption of 'The Cruse Of The Were-Rabbit', Wallace (Peter Griffin) and Gromit (Brian Griffin) are busier than ever with the many loose rabbits roaming around the town with the town's Vegetable Competition. But things get even messier when a giant were-rabbit appear.
Can Wallace and Gromit find the beast and sovle the mystery? Or will everything have to fall into the hands of hunter Victor Quartermaine (Carter Pewterschmidt)?


7. The Difficult Choice

Gromit was watching the news on the TV.
   "Last night, the were-rabbit was seen hopping around the town and destroying more vegetables, said Tom Tucker. Behind him showed footage of the beast going through garden to garden and eating vegetables.
   "Anti-Pesto was seen, but only minutes late after the beast have been shown," added Diana Simmons with footage behind her of Gromit in the Anti-Pesto van driving through wreckage.
   "If you ask me, Anti-Pesto is just wasting their time!" shouted Tom. "Trust them to protect my tomatoes that are now turned into tomato soup! How are your cabbages, Ollie?"
   "BUGGERED UP!" shouted Ollie, as he stood next to his ruined cabbages.
   "Thanks, Ollie," sighed Tom.
   Gromit angrily turned the TV off and slammed the flicker on the ground, with the batteries falling out. Then the service button rang on.
   Gromit pulled the Get-U-Up lever, but not the assistance lever and he didn't need to, because Wallace fell down on the chair and got dressed and everything was normal, apart from vegetables falling from his room, Wallace looking skinny with rabbit ears!
   "Awesome entry ever, Gromit!" smiled Wallace in a good mood, drinking a giant bottle of water. "This vegetable and water diet's paying off, lad. I feel sober." 
   "Good, good," said a nervous Gromit.
   "So how's our rabbit bastard? I hope you're watching him."
   "I am. I sure am." Gromit nodded as he stared at Wallace… for quite a long time.
   "What are you looking at, mutt?"
   "The were-rabbit, of course!"
   Wallace looked behind. "I can't see him."
   Gromit got up a mirror and showed Wallace his face. Wallace screamed and looked at himself. "Well, fancy that! Rabbit ears! Where did that come from?"
   "Maybe this will answer your question." Gromit got up a newspaper and showed his the front cover with a picture of the were-rabbit.
   "What? That the were-rabbit donated his ears to me?" Wallace was puzzled.
   "No! You're him and he's you!" yelled a frustrated Gromit.
   "What?" Wallace was hurt. "I know I get on your wick and annoy you and tease you, but that doesn't mean you can call me a beast! It won't do wither of us any favours. These ears are just a reaction to that healthy diet you got me on. Proud of yourself? With all these toxins coming out?"
   "Oh, I give up," sighed Gromit.
   "Besides, what has happened to Hutch?" asked Wallace. "Turning into me? Yeah, right!"
   Unfortunately, Gromit had the thought that Wallace could be right. He and Gromit went down to Hutch's hutch and opened it.
   "Beer?" Wallace watched in horror as Gromit hold out a can of Guinness and Hutch came out to the can like a magnet. He wore one of Wallace's green tank tops and two of his slippers.
   "How did he get those?" Wallace demanded to know. Then he heard chuckling as he saw Stan, Sanders, Jackson and Dick.
   Hutch took the can and only took two seconds to drink it all. "Oh, I love beer so much that I can't hold my pees and my poops! Speaking of which..."
   "Oh, dear!" cried Wallace. Not because of what Hutch was doing, but because of how he and Hutch are becoming more like each other.


At Tottingham Hall, Lady Tottingham was inspecting the vegetable show the workmen were preparing for the 500th Vegetable Competition tonight. Believing the beast is kept safely, she was calmer and happier. "Oh, this is going to be a jolly competition! I just know it!"
   "If you think that, then you don't know no shit!" exclaimed Mrs. Mulch, who had come to the ground along with all of the other townsfolk.
   "The beast is still on the loose!"
   "Yeah, take a look at my wife's brassicas, destroyed in the night!" yelled Mr. Windfall, comforting his very upset wife.
   "But Anti-Pesto told me they have it in captivity," said Lady Tottingham.
   "A pack of lies, if you ask me!" Mr. Windfall spat back.
   "It's not safe for vegetables here," Mr. Caliche announced. "The show's off."
   Lady Tottingham gasped. "What? And stop this vegetable completion on this very night, which would've been the night it would've stood for five hundred years?"
   "That's right," the townsfolk said.
   "Not even H. G. Wells's reading from War of the Worlds stopped it," Mr. Growbag pointed out.
   "Maybe we could use this ground to bounce on bouncy castles or trampolines," suggested Mr. Caliche Jr.
   Lady Tottingham sighed. "If there was another way..."
   Then gunshots fired the bunnies at the shooting galleries. They all turned to see Victor Quartermaine standing there with Philip. "Got rabbit trouble?"
   Now Lady Tottingham had to make the toughest decision she ever had to make in her entire life: a unique beast in existence or her traditional family competition that's been going for five centuries?

Back at the basement at No. 62, Wallace had been struggling all day to fix the Mind Manipulation-O-Matic. And dusk approaching didn't help them. The trapped rabbits making fun of it and mocking him didn't help either.
   "Hey, mate, that piece goes underneath!" cried Stan.
   "Put that spanner up a bit more!" Francine chuckled.
   "Hey, that end sparkle goes right up your arse!" laughed Bullock.
   "SHUT UP!" yelled Wallace as he returned to focus on the invention. Then he picked up a piece of the invention, which to his eyesight looked like a juicy carrot! He took a bite and stopped, not because he couldn't eat it but what his mind was turning into.
   "Oh, this is bullshit!" he cried, giving up after hours. "I'll never fix this damn machine! My mind's all rabbit! I don't want to be a giant rabbit! This is all your fault, Gromit!"
   "My fault? Now you're going too far yourself!" Gromit shouted back. "It was your idea and you flipped your foot on the – "
   "If you hadn't tried to change my way with drinking beers, none of these ideas would have arose!"
   "If you cared more about your health – "
   "Guys, keep it down, will you? I'm trying to focus." Then Wallace and Gromit look to see Hutch repairing the machine like he knows how to.
   "Wow! Look at me go! I'm a genius! Well, that part of me, you know." Wallace was so relieved that there was a new hope. But sadly it was only five-seconds lived when the doorbell rang. "Oh, shit! I can't answer the door with these things!" Wallace said, pulling his rabbit ears.
   Then Hutch was walking up the stairs. "I'll get it."
   Wallace and Gromit wasted no time running up the stairs. But Hutch answered the door and outside stood Lady Tottingham, but she didn't see him because Hutch was a quarter of her size. "Hi there, sexy whore!" greeted the large rabbit.
   Lady Tottingham looked down and saw no one. "Wallace?"
   "Won't be a minute," cried Wallace behind the door.
   Gromit caught Hutch before the lady could see him and hung him in a winter coat. Then he picked something up. "Put this on, Wallace!" ordered Gromit.
   Wallace was ready to greet Lady Tottingham with a winter hat on. "Hi, Totty," he smiled.
   "Lady Tottingham to you," she said. "You've failed this beastly beast business for me, Wallace."
   "Yeah, I admit I have," Wallace sighed, ashamed of himself.
   "Since you don't know where this poor thing is, you've given me no choice but to let Victor shoot the poor thing," Lady Tottingham sobbed.
   "SHOOT IT?" Wallace realised what he had said it louder than he should have. "I mean, why?"
   "Well, it wasn't an easy decision, but the show must come first. At least, Victor will make it quick and painless, not make it suffer."
   "How thoughtful," said Wallace, though he wasn't really focusing. His hands grew furry and his feet. He had to close the door and send her away. "Well, I'm sure I'm no use to you anymore, so goodbye then."
   He started to close the door, but Lady Tottingham stopped him. "I'm not finished with you, Wallace. I have so much to get off my chest."
   "Well, talk to me about it tomorrow," suggested Wallace. "You have to get to the show pretty soon. It's not the best time for me either. Thanks for coming. Bye!"
   And Wallace slammed the door. Lady Tottingham sighed sadly and walked away. On the opposite street, there stood Victor and Philip who had watched the whole thing. "That's right, my fluffy bitch!" he chuckled evilly. "You can stay goodbye to that giant furry shithead." And Philip gave his the gun and Victor started hurling towards No. 62.


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