Some brilliant quotes both funny and true to the heart.
Beware: there is some swearing.


9. You must be sick of these by now

'Did you just fall?

Nooo! I attacked the floor'.


'I am a leader. Not a follower. Unless it's a dark place then fuck that shit. You're going first'.


'I'm not crazy, I'm just special!!!

.....No wait....... maybe I'm crazy

One second..... I have to talk to myself about this, hold on....'.


'I'm not a smartass....

I am a skilled, trained professional in pointing out the obvious and I speak fluent sarcasm'.


'Sarcasm: the ability to insult idiots without them realising it'.

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