Our relationship. It wasn't sonnet inspiring, the story of it won't make thousands want to listen. But it was complicated and it was special to us. It was certainly more than I bargained for from just seeing a boy with a football helmet across the room.


33. Thirty three

The next day, I'm in Philosophy and Ethics class. Harry and Elliot are in my class but I sit on the other side of the room and try my best to avoid them and just not look at them in general. In class, we're doing about the ethics of making a decision. Our teacher is telling us about two theories; one where you should focus on the outcome when making a decision and one when you should focus on your duty. 

As our teacher's explaining this to us, Harry puts his hand up. 

"Yes Harry." she says. 

"Right." he says, sitting forward. "So, just to make this clear. Say I have this girlfriend and she didn't want me to buy the new FIFA game but a friend bought it for me as a gift. It's right of me to not tell her I got it right? Because telling her I got it would upset her and cause me to lose her which will ultimately make us both unhappy which will overall make it the less moral decision right?" 

I just can't help but speak up.

"But maybe if you told your girlfriend you had the FIFA game to begin with, she wouldn't be so mad when she inevitably found out in the end." I say, narrowing my eyes a little. 

"Maybe it's not so easy to just come out and say 'I got the new FIFA!'." he says narrowing his eyes back. I'm shocked he's angry. What right does he have to be angry?

"Well how easy do you think it is for the girl to find out about you having FIFA?" I demand. 

"I'm so sorry that I love my girlfriend and didn't want her to find out because I knew it would end things!"

"You should have thought ahead and told her in the first place! Maybe she wasn't angry that you had FIFA, she was angry that you didn't tell her." I say and sit back in my seat. "You don't even have a girlfriend anyway so shut up."

"What do you mean I don't have a girlfriend? You're my girlfriend."

I laugh, shaking my head and keeping my eyes on my notebook now. "No I am not."

"What?" he says and our teacher clears her throat. 

"Sorry guys, I am actually trying to teach a lesson here, so can we just zip it please?" she says. 

Harry catches up with me after class when I'm putting my books in my locker. 

"What do you mean you're not my girlfriend?" he asks and I sigh, shutting my locker. 

"Did you really think I still was?" 

"Yes!" he says. "I mean obviously I knew you were mad but I didn't know we were actually ending things." I laugh to myself and he frowns at me. "You know I really don't like this side to you."

I sigh like I couldn't care less. "What side would that be?" 

"You're just not nice anymore." he says, frowning. "The version of you I knew and the version I still love would have listened and understood."

"No, this is the same version." I tell him. "If you'd have told me from the beginning, this wouldn't even matter. But you didn't, you completely screwed me over instead. So however much you don't like this side of me, whatever that means, it's the side you deserve."

He just looks at me for another moment and then walks away. I know I should probably feel bad but I just don't. I always told myself to be mature in relationships and break ups, but it does feel good to break his heart back a little. It completely makes me feel like less of a push over too which I'm glad for. 

That night I get a completely random message from a guy in my year called Jason. He's on the lacrosse team, that's kind of how our school works, the football team are the year above us, our year have the lacrosse team and the year below us have the basketball team. It's kind of like a little hierarchy. Either way, I've always obviously been more caught up with the football team and I've never even spoken to Jason so I find it weird that he sends me a message: 

Hey, I think I have an offer you might be interested in

It's one of those messages I consider ignoring but I am intrigued. He's in my Philosophy and Ethics class so maybe this offer has something to do with Harry. I reply: 

What's that? 

He replies: 

Every year, the lacrosse team and the football team go and have this bowling tournament. I know it sounds pretty sad but it's a lot of fun. You wanna come with this year? It's this weekend. 

I reply:

Why would I want to go anywhere near the football team?

He replies: 

I'm just guessing but I feel like Harry would be real pissed off if you showed up with our team...

I reply: 

Ohhhh. Okay good plan. And what do you want in return?

He replies:

Just for you to go as my fake date. I mean the benefit is mostly on your side, make him jealous and all that, but I fucking hate Harry so he'd be even more pissed if you went as my date.

I reply:

Hahaha, okay, sounds like a plan :) 

He replies:

Yes! I didn't think you'd agree haha! 
Also, you wanna sit with us at lunch tomorrow? You've been looking kind of lonely :) 

It's the first time I actually feel happy since the whole thing happened. It's just something as simple as Jason from the Lacrosse team being nice to me. Plus, I'm kind of excited about Saturday now. I know maybe I shouldn't aim to make Harry jealous or whatever, but I can't really not take up that opportunity. 

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