Hurdles

Our relationship. It wasn't sonnet inspiring, the story of it won't make thousands want to listen. But it was complicated and it was special to us. It was certainly more than I bargained for from just seeing a boy with a football helmet across the room.

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14. Fourteen

Harry and I kind of make going out in the evenings a regular thing, every other night or so. We always go to the diner and he gets food and I get a milkshake and he always ends up sharing his food with me anyway because every single time I say I'm not hungry and then it always turns out I am. Then we always go to that look out point and every single time I'm blown away by the way the sky just looks stretched out in front of us, like we could just step out into it and fly off if we wanted to. Sometimes we have endless things to say to each other and sometimes we're just quiet, but there's still a point to both of us being there, it's a nicer silence than just being alone. Tonight it's the night before my birthday and we're somewhere in between, just gentle conversation every now and then.

"Are you excited for your birthday party?" he asks me and I sigh, shrugging. I know I thought it might be a good idea but the more I think about it, the more I cringe at the idea of it.

"I guess so."

He pauses, looking at me. "You're not, are you?" 

"I feel so bad!" I promise. "I think it's so nice of you guys to do and it was a lovely idea, I just don't like parties."

"I know." he chuckles. "I tried to tell them that."

I laugh and then sigh again. "It'll be fine. What harm is it going to do?" 

"Well it's your birthday, you need to enjoy it." he insists, getting his phone out. "I'm telling Dan the party's off."

"No!" I shake my head. "No no, I feel so bad."

"It's fine!" Harry promises. "He'd rather organise something you're going to like anyway! We'll all go out to dinner or something."

I hesitate, still unsure. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." he smiles. "Hey, maybe we can do something in the day too. Just me and you."

"Okay." I smile back. I always feel so shy when he suggests we hang out just us, or talks about just us, even though I should just get over it really. 

"I'll pick you up in the morning, surprise destination." he grins, jumping off the bonnet out of nowhere. "You ready to go? You need an early night, I'm picking you up at like eight, okay?" 

"Yeah." I say, laughing at him. He pauses looking confused but he's smiling still as well. 

"What are you laughing at?" he asks. 

"You're just very excited." I observe. In reality, my heart is melting because it's the sweetest thing to me. It's weird because to him I went from not being very noticeable to being somebody he wanted to spend time with whereas for me, he went from being somebody way out of my league to somebody who is picking me up in the morning to take me out for my birthday and that's surreal to me.

"I am excited!" he says, sounding defensive. "I think you're gonna like it. Is that so wrong?" 

"No! It's just..." I laugh a little to myself, smiling at him. "It's just nice of you. You've just been really nice to me so... that's nice."

He looks at me for a moment and then bursts out laughing. "That was very awkwardly worded but also very cute."

He gets into the car and I hover for a moment before getting in too. I know maybe what he just said is nothing, but the fact he even linked anything that I said to the word cute seems like a big compliment to me. I do get that it's probably nothing but at the same time, if the boy you like calls you cute in any way you're going to pay attention to it. And he's taking me out for my birthday with just him and he has an idea he thinks I'll like. I don't know, he's just being very thoughtful and I don't want to think too much into it, but whenever I do think too much into it, I like what I end up imagining.

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