Our relationship. It wasn't sonnet inspiring, the story of it won't make thousands want to listen. But it was complicated and it was special to us. It was certainly more than I bargained for from just seeing a boy with a football helmet across the room.


44. Forty four

A couple of weeks later, it's my nan's birthday and my parents want to organise another trip to England and I have been missing my friends so much recently so I'm so excited. I'm exciting to see my nan too. It's been forever and she's one of those family members who you want to impress by growing into a "lovely young lady" as she would say. Also, she bakes a hell of a lot which is always good. 

I decide to surprise my friends just because I think that would be fun. I also put the paint set back in Harry's room before I leave. 

It's weird being back in England this time. All of the other times it was kind of a comforting thing, like I was back home, but it doesn't feel like that this time. This time it does feel like more of a holiday, lots of familiar things and a familiar feeling but not quite like home anymore.

Regardless, I do like all the familiar things. I like staying in my grandma's house, I like the weather, I like all the scenery when you drive. The first night I'm there it's pretty funny because I call Nicole and little does she know I'm actually in the same country as them. But it turns out they are having a sleepover the following night which gives me the perfect opportunity to surprise them. 

I've never been more excited in my life than that following evening when my mum's driving me down all these familiar roads to Kylie's house where they all are. I just can't wait to see their faces and I can't wait to see them. I'd pre-warned Kylie's parents and they told me that they've gone out so I can let myself in.

When I walk through the door, I can hear them all in the living room watching something and talking and laughing and I just stand in the hallway for a moment, listening. I actually almost cry, hearing them all in person sounding like they used to when I would be here every weekend too.

I walk through the living room door and they all have their backs to me, they're crowded around Kylie's laptop watching this video we were all obsessed with. They're all crying with laughter and I have to hold back laughter too as I sneak up behind them, leaning over and watching the video too. They still haven't noticed I'm here. 

"Wait, this is my favourite bit!" I exclaim. 

"Yes, mine too!" Jaclyn agrees and they all laugh before going dead silent and turning around. 

"Holy shit!" Nicole screams, jumping up and hugging me tight. They all do the same, all screaming and I'm screaming too because I'm pretty sure this is the most exciting moment of my life. 

"Surprise!" I laugh, hugging them all closer. "Are you surprised?"

"Yes we're surprised!" Jaclyn shouts as we all step backwards. "You're here!"

"I'm here!" I grin. "Can I join your sleepover?" 

"Yes!" Kylie exists. 

I love being with them that night. I love the guys back home and I love having Harry as my boyfriend but at the same time, I like being here with Kylie, Jaclyn and Nicole and remembering that irreplaceable feeling I always had with them where I felt like I didn't need anybody else in the world. However much I love everybody else in my life now, and I really do, I still understand why I used to not need anybody else in the world.

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