Our relationship. It wasn't sonnet inspiring, the story of it won't make thousands want to listen. But it was complicated and it was special to us. It was certainly more than I bargained for from just seeing a boy with a football helmet across the room.


50. Fifty

Dan picks me up for school the next day and just winces when I get in the car, a grin on his face. 


"Shut up." I groan. "I still feel mortified."

"So does he!"

"Don't!" I complain. "I feel awful."

"Yeah, but what was he thinking?" 

"I know right!" I agree. "What was he thinking? I mean I feel bad but I am more annoyed than anything."

"He's not best pleased either." Dan glances at me and winces again. "Lunch is not going to be fun today."

I raise my eyebrows at him. "You think I'm actually sitting with you guys at lunch today?" 

"Well who else do you plan to sit with?" 


Dan laughs out loud. "Jason's your friend right?" 

"Yes." I say, confused. 

"You like him, yeah? He's cool?" 


"Then why does it seem like you're trying to get him killed?" he says sarcastically. "Alice, I love you to death, but are you stupid? If Harry sees you sitting with Jason, the day after you turned down his proposal, he's going to kill both of you."

So I end up sitting with them at lunch and it's the most awkward thing in the world. Harry and I sit as far away from each other as possible. It's all just very awkward. He's upset that I turned him down, I feel bad that I turned him down, he's angry with me because he thinks I don't want to be with him, I'm angry with him for thinking I'd say yes to marrying him and for the way he reacted about it. 

"Oh my god!" Dan whispers to me at one point, excited. 

"What?" I ask. 

"Don't look now." he smiles. "But Harry Jackson just looked at you!"

I gasp, all girly. "No way!" I laugh, shoving him. "Jerk."

He laughs. "Wanna come hang out tonight? We're all having a couple of drinks at mine." I give him a look and he rolls his eyes. "Harry's not coming, he's too busy crying himself to sleep because you don't love him."

"Stop!" I complain but there's something about Dan that means you can't be mad at him. 

It's a very typical night of drinks at Dan's, we all get a little tipsy, we eat a lot of food, there's a game of spin the bottle where Dan and I very nearly almost kiss before deciding it's way too awkward and then all ten of us laugh about it for what seems like forever and then we have the realisation that maybe we're a bit past tipsy now. All I know is that I do not think of Harry once, and whether we fell out or not, that's kind of refreshing. I love loving him but it's nice to get him out of my mind for a night, to feel like I'm the whole me, not like I share half of myself with him.

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