Our relationship. It wasn't sonnet inspiring, the story of it won't make thousands want to listen. But it was complicated and it was special to us. It was certainly more than I bargained for from just seeing a boy with a football helmet across the room.


52. Fifty two

For once at school, it's Harry having to find somewhere else to sit and not me. All of the guys know what he did and they're all so mad with him and to be honest, I feel kind of bad. I see him come into lunch looking sad and looking for somewhere to sit and I feel awful because I love him and I don't want to see him like that. But then I remember what he did and how willing he was to hurt me. 

"Don't cave." Dan says and I snap out my gaze. "I see you're looking at him all sad, do not cave. He does not deserve that."

"I know." I sigh. "He just looks so sad."

"He shouldn't have cheated on you then."

"Was it cheating though?" I ask. "I've been wondering that a lot. We were fighting at the time."

"Yes it was cheating! You didn't officially break up and even if you did, that was a dick move." Dan says and then sighs. "I don't even get why he did it, even if he was mad about spin the bottle. He loves you."

"He loves her more." I shrug like it's no big deal even though I know I'm not convincing him. 

"He does not."

"Yeah he does." I sigh. "You didn't see the way he was looking at her."

"Because he was having sex with her!" he protests. "It was just one big mix of lust, history and disaster."

I laugh a little at that. "I don't know. It looked like love to me."

"Whatever it was it was disgusting." Dan says, glaring over at where Harry's sat. He looks back at me sadly. "I'm sorry about this." I just shrug. I kind of wish he'd stop talking about it really, even though he's just being nice. "I bet you kind of want to talk about this stuff with girls though. Have you talked to your friends yet?" 

I haven't actually. It all slipped my mind, I forgot we were even in a fight. I feel awful and that argument just isn't important anymore, plus, they were kind of right. I shouldn't have trusted Harry. He was always so genuinely nice and wonderful and I still believe that side is there, but he's also capable of hurting me this much and I don't want to be involved with somebody like that. So they were right. I call them all that night and apologise and update them on what's going on and within half an hour, everything's right with us again. I just don't think it will go the same with Harry. 

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