Hurdles

Our relationship. It wasn't sonnet inspiring, the story of it won't make thousands want to listen. But it was complicated and it was special to us. It was certainly more than I bargained for from just seeing a boy with a football helmet across the room.

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55. Fifty five

"We're going out to dinner with Brie and Daniel and Harry tomorrow night." my mum announces over lunch and I can tell she's nervous to tell me because she keeps her eyes on her plate. 

"What?" I demand. "Mum, no."

"Yes." she says. "It's Brie and Daniel's anniversary, we're going to celebrate."

"Why do I have to go?" I ask. 

"Because we're family friends and we want to celebrate with them!"

"Dad!" I turn to him and he shrugs. 

"You have to go sweetheart." 

The next night while I'm getting ready, I'm miserable. I can't even have some bad attitude because I like Brie and Daniel and I don't want to be a brat on their anniversary. We meet them at the restaurant and much to my dismay, the first thing I think when I see Harry is that he looks really good. Like, really good, the kind of good that even makes me consider forgiving him. But that just lasts for a moment and then I get myself together and remember to stay strong and not pay any attention to him.

"Aren't you two going to say hello to each other?" Daniel asks, cheery as ever, after our parents have all greeted each other. 

"Probably not." Harry says bluntly and Brie tuts. 

"Oh come on you guys! I know you had a little falling out but let's try and get along tonight." she smiles. I honestly feel a little betrayed. What happened to her being all defensive? 

I sigh and look at Harry. "Hi."

"Hey." he says, not looking back at me. He looks at his parents. "That enough for you?"

"Perfect." Brie says fondly. 

Of course we don't talk for the entire meal but after we've eaten, we're out in the parking lot and our parents are saying goodbye to each other when he comes over to me. I sigh. 

"I'm not in the mood." 

"You're never in the mood." he says. "I'm done waiting around for you to be ready to hear me out. I'm sorry. I miss you. Talk to me."

"No." I reply, just as blunt as him, but he keeps talking. 

"I was angry about you and Dan, I get it was nothing now but at the time I was mad. You said no to my proposal, I felt like you didn't want me, the fact that Dan was all willing to kiss you regardless of the situation kind of made me feel like nobody wanted me, I was upset-"

"I was upset too!" I protest. "I've been upset with you a lot of the time but I never went and slept with somebody else!"

"You brought Jason to that bowling thing." he points out. 

"But it was fake, to try and make you jealous." I sigh. "I would never have actually done anything with him, even though we were broken up. You and I hadn't even broken up with this."

"I regret it every day!" he says. "Alice, I miss you. I want you to come back to me."

I roll my eyes even though my heart is pounding. "You can't just say things like this and expect me to forgive you because you're being sweet. Just stop Harry, we're done for good. Just stop trying now."

I walk away and get in the car and wait to go. Even I feel really upset by saying that, that we're done for good. It's just sad, if I knew how to forgive him I would, but I can't. I just wish he'd never proposed, I wish we were still the couple we were at the beginning of that night. 

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