Our relationship. It wasn't sonnet inspiring, the story of it won't make thousands want to listen. But it was complicated and it was special to us. It was certainly more than I bargained for from just seeing a boy with a football helmet across the room.


58. Fifty eight

Being just friends with Harry was way easier back home than it is here. 

It's fine for the first week because we go hang out with Nicole, Jaclyn and Kylie or I show him around different places but after such a busy first week, we kind of just want to hang around and we run out of things to do other than hang around and watch TV. We also have the house to ourselves a lot of the time because my parents are out and about meeting with old friends and what not and my nan goes out and runs errands all day long and it's hard to just see him as my friend when we're all alone and have absolutely nothing to do. 

I have a feeling Harry's noticing it too. Even if we're just sat watching TV, there's a sort of tension in the air. It'll seem completely normal but we'll accidentally brush hands or notice we're sat too close together and it will just be a little chorus of awkward apologies.

One day me, him, Kylie and Jaclyn are all out doing some shopping in town and we're waiting for Nicole to come and meet us so we can go back to hers for a movie night. It's a relief to be out in public and with my other friends because that tension between Harry and I fades for a little while. I keep telling myself that tension will fade completely and we'll be fine with just being friends, we just need to get used to it, because being just friends will be a great thing for us. 

We're walking along when I trip over a step but Harry catches me before I completely fall down. The others didn't notice and just kept walking and Harry just holds onto me for a moment. 

"Thank you." I say, not knowing what to do.

"It's okay." he says kind of absentmindedly. I feel like he's about to kiss me or something like that so I'm so thankful when I finally see Nicole walking over to us. 

"Hey guys, it's Nicole!" I exclaim, pushing Harry away and running over to her. I hug her and I can tell she's confused but I only did what was necessary. Harry and I have gone through this same process over and over, I refuse to go back to being with him again this time. 

That night when I'm in bed, Jaclyn calls me.

"Hey. Did I spy a little moment between you and Harry earlier?" she says and I can picture that I told you so smile on her face.

"Yes, but it's a bad thing and is never happening again."

She laughs. "Oh come on Alice, give it two weeks and you'll be madly in love again."

"No!" I protest. "Not this time, it's not happening again."

Harry appears at my door then. He looks all tired and adorable but I mentally kick myself. 

"Hey, I'm getting something to drink, do you want a glass of water?" he asks sleepily.

"No I'm okay thank you." I smile at him and he smiles back before going downstairs. Jaclyn laughs on the other end of the phone and I sigh. 

"What?" I demand.

"You do not talk to him like you talk to us. Your voice goes all soft and girly."

"Shut up." I say but I'm laughing. "I'm going to bed. Night."

"Night." she says, still laughing as she hangs up the phone. 

"Night." Harry says as he walks past my door into the spare room. 

"Night." I call out. Oh how easy it would be to just go into that room and talk with him and go back to where we used to be. I just have to remember that this will all be worth it in the end.

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