In|Valid Feelings

"You want to know why?" I ask quietly, not turning to face them. "Why should I even tell you? you'll just make fun of me for it. It's not like my feelings are valid anyway." I say quietly picking up my bag again. I continue my journey to freedom at once and they don't stop me.


2. Chapter 2


I've never heard him sound so unhappy. So broken. Yes, I hear him cry out for us to leave him alone while Eddy pummels him. But today when we saw his arms. It was different. "What's the point in trying to defend myself when I'm just going to get beat anyway? It doesn't matter whether I beg and try to reason or not, I'm still not going to be able to function properly for days, maybe even weeks. And who knows, maybe one of these days you'll send me to the hospital and I can do my school work there and not be bothered, for a while at least."   along with  "Why should I even tell you? you'll just make fun of me for it. It's not like my feelings are valid anyway."  replay through my mind for days on end. Did I do this to him? Did I cause him to feel this way and do this to himself? I can't help but think over and over again. "I never meant to actually hurt him. I never did" I mumble as I walk to school the following Monday, stuck in my thoughts. I walk through the halls and stop when I see Double D standing at his locker. Someone walks up to him and he smiles at her and I think Is it a real smile or is it just a show he puts on every day? i look closer and see that it's a close lipped smile. Not real. When you can see the gap in his teeth is when it's a real smile. When did I start noticing that? I ask myself. I shake my head and walk into my first class, sitting in my assigned seat.A couple days later I'm sitting in my first period.  Looking out the window, I start thinking about everything that happened with Double D on Friday. The bell rings and I look around dazed. "The class is over?" I think aloud. I stand up and trip over the leg of my chair. "Great" I say once I regain myself, grabbing my things to leave the classroom. I'm a dazed mess all the way through my morning classes. I look around at lunch, realizing I haven't seen Double D anywhere. Don't we have two morning classes together? Where was he? Surely he didn't skip school because of Friday? Maybe he did skip school...or worse. A spike of fear shoots up my spine and my eyes widen. I jump up from my seat at lunch without realizing and I catch the attention of everyone around. "I uh.. I forgot something at my house. I'll be back" I say and my  soccer team mate Jake stands up. "I'll go with you" he says and I shake my head "No need man. Finish your lunch. I'll see you guys later" i say with a wave as i walk away. I see Jake sit back down begrudgingly out of the corner of my eyes. Once I'm out of view of the cafeteria I break into a sprint to the front doors. I burst through the doors and continue running to the cul-de-sac, not too far away. I race across the street gaining a honk from some lady in a car but I pay her no mind. My goal is to get to his house and see if he's there. I'm about to step on his well manicured lawn but I stop myself. He wouldn't want his lawn ruined. I walk up to his door using the provided  walk way. I look at his front door for longer than necessary. My palms become sweaty and my breathing uneven. What's happening to me? Why am I nervous all of a sudden? I raise my arm and freeze. Knock. Knock dammit! Come on don't do this now. Just knock twice on the door for Christ's sake! The door opens a crack and I flinch lowering my arm. "K..Kevin? may I be of assistance to you?" he asks quietly not opening the door fully. "I uh..I noticed you weren't at school. So I came to see what's up" I say rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly and he looks at me questioningly. "May I ask why?" He questions. 

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