In|Valid Feelings

"You want to know why?" I ask quietly, not turning to face them. "Why should I even tell you? you'll just make fun of me for it. It's not like my feelings are valid anyway." I say quietly picking up my bag again. I continue my journey to freedom at once and they don't stop me.

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1. Chapter 1

-Double D-

I look up from my locker, fear paralyzing me as i see three specific people I want to avoid walking towards me, Ed, Eddy, and Kevin. I gulp, biting my lower lip nervously as I quickly grab the items I need from my locker. I close the locker a moment later. I turn wondering if I can make it to the front doors of the school. I decide to try and I start speed walking to my freedom, but as I'm about to exit, a heavy hand on my shoulder stops me. I look at them individually, seeing them as they once were, just a few short years ago. I see Ed and Eddy as they were before popularity took hold. I see Eddy grinning as he tells me his latest plan while Ed is occupied chasing a butterfly through the yard. I smile fondly at the memory, but when Ed says "What's so funny Double Dweeb?" it calls me back to reality. "N..nothing" I stutter out, trying to avoid falling. "So where do you think you're going?" Eddy asks with a malicious growl. "Um...h..home?" I squeak out before Ed and Eddy grab me by the arms, pulling me away from the front of the school. I struggle, in vain, to get away but only for a moment. I realize where we're going once we've gotten halfway through the school. My eyes land on Kevin, who is just following behind. Doing nothing. Saying nothing. The doors open and I'm dragged outside. I get thrown to the ground roughly before looking up at the bullies, fear in my eyes. What're they going to do to me? I quietly ask myself. I look at Kevin and we lock eyes and after a moment, I swear I see sorrow and remorse cloud his face. It's gone so fast, I'm not even sure it was there at all. I start scooting away from them only to be stopped  by Ed grabbing my bag and yanking it away from me. I look at each of them before being grabbed by the shoulder. Eddy pulls me by my shoulder to connect his fist with my face and I groan reaching my hands up to cover my face. I pull my hand away at the feeling of a sticky, wet substance pooling into my hands. I realize it's blood and it's coming from my nose. "G..gentlemen, violence isn't necessary. Couldn't we just go about this in a calm fashion? Perhaps using our words instead of our fists?" i manage to say "P..please?" I add as an afterthought. "Beg all ya want, nerd. That won't getcha outta this one" Eddy says as he kicks me in the side. I cough and blood splatters onto the ground. "Is that something serious or perhaps just from my nose?" i question aloud without meaning to. "Let's hope somethin' serious" Eddy growls as he kicks me a few more times in my chest and stomach area. At one point, I can't remember when, my hat falls off. They use this to their advantage, well Eddy mainly. Ed never was one to inflict pain physically onto others and i presumed he would never use verbal abuse either, but I presumed incorrect. Kevin just stands off to the side, watching. I don't even try to reason or struggle anymore. "What's the point?" I mumble to myself weakly. "What was that dork?" Ed says and I look at him. I conjure up a weak, sad chuckle before groaning. "What's the point in trying to defend myself when I'm just going to get beat anyway? It doesn't matter whether I beg and try to reason or not, I'm still not going to be able to function properly for days, maybe even weeks. And who knows, maybe one of these days you'll send me to the hospital and I can do my school work there and not be bothered, for a while at least." I say, ending with a cough. I think back on what I said and realize I let my intelligence falter in my words. I look at them to see no one moving and their stares are directed towards me. I struggle to sit up, grabbing my hat in the process and shoving it onto my head not bothering to tuck my shoulder length raven colored hair under it. "Well gentlemen, this sure has been an interesting encounter. At least this time I won't be found by the janitor, yes?" I say looking at them pointedly. When I don't get a response i stand up on wobbly legs. I trip on my way to grab my bag and I fall to the ground on my hands and knees. "Well isn't that spectacular" I mumble, assuming they left. I assumed incorrectly, I realize when I hear one of them sigh. i flinch at the sound and sit on the ground. "Is it warmer than it was when we first arrived out here? I don't recall.." I trail off as I push the sleeves of my jacket up to my elbows. I reach up to adjust my hat atop my head and in doing so I realize that they have possibly seen the one thing no one knows about. I hear a gasp and that's when I pull my knees to my chest. "They know. All three of them. They know the one secret I've kept for years" i whisper as I quickly uncurl myself and pull my sleeves down. I jump up as fast as I can and grab my bag, hoping they will not question it. I push past Kevin and Eddy who are just staring. I walk as quickly as my battered limbs will allow. i shove the door open limping through the school. "Double D" I hear Eddy say and I stop. "They followed me. They are going to finish me off aren't they?" I think to myself and I stumble to the side, catching myself on the hallway wall. I slowly turn towards them, tears streaming down my face. "What?" I ask, harsher than intended. I flinch when he takes a step forward. "Why?" He asks and I snap my head up. "Why?" I ask incredulously as fury builds inside me. "Why do you think Eddy?!" I shout at him, my resolve crumbling. "Wha?" he gasps and I turn on my heel and start limping away once more. "You didn't answer my question dweeb" he calls after me and, without meaning to, my bag falls from my shoulder onto the floor with a resounding thump when I stop abruptly. "You want to know why?" I ask quietly, not turning to face them. "Why should I even tell you? you'll just make fun of me for it. It's not like my feelings are valid anyway." I say quietly picking up my bag again. I continue my journey to freedom at once and they don't stop me. 

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