Simple English

Carson Kelly. Normal teenager in high school with simple goals and a simple life. But when she starts to befriend new teacher Mr. Gee whom she starts to feel a real personal connection with, her seemingly simple life starts to get a lot more Complicated.

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2. Emtionless Carson

Well that was the most depressing and uncomfortable funeral I've ever been to. Just kills me how emotionless I felt the entire time. I did not cry, I did not shed a tear, I did nothing which would've expressed any type of compassion I felt. Now I know what you're thinking. "Wow Carson you are a horrible person you went to a man's funeral and you said nothing you feel no emotion, I honestly can't believe you." Well it's true I sat there looking like an actual Frankenstein. All of the students around me were crying and sobbing like they knew this man longer than me, which they didn't. We've all knew him for exactly a month before he died and we should not be feeling any type of sympathy for his death. he was old and he died and I've moved on and I'm not going to feel bad for not caring, sorry. Now I know what you're thinking wow Carson could you be any more cold blooded and evil. I am neither of those things I'm just real and I don't Force emotion when it comes it comes and unfortunately this time it didn't. When Monday comes, Life would have moved on and I will have a new English teacher who I will feel no more emotion for than just my English teacher. Call me in an emotionless pit. Call me the Grim Reaper call me whatever but what you can't call me is fake, which is more than what I can say about most people.

It's Monday morning and my mom has been on my back all weekend. She just can't stand the fact that I'm not upset about my teacher who I knew for all of five minutes is dead. "

"Honey if you need to talk about anything you know I'm here for you. I'll even call Dr. Ginger to make you feel more comfortable."

"No mom I'm OK for the hundredth time I don't need therapy and I don't need to talk about it." I said highly annoyed to my mom. " I just want to move on from the situation. Life and death happens and I understand that and I don't need help. So I would really appreciate it if you don't bring it up to me ever again."

"I just want to make sure you OK honey this is tragic event and you are allowed to grieve anyway you seem pleasing to." My mom replied. Trying to sound concerned.

"well I'm not grieving so can we please just drop it.thanks."

"of course whatever you want...just to let you know I am here."

"OK where is dad? I need a ride to school... I'm late again for my bus because you keep beating a dead horse or should I say a dead English teacher." I said jokingly

"Carson! Please respect the dead!"

"Chill mom it was just a joke ... Don't get all touchy and emotional."

"Please Carson try to be little more respectful and I think your dad left earlier Carson. But I'll drive you to school if you want?"

"Fine. But no talking about Mr. Baxter in the car!" I snapped at her.

"You said you don't want to talk about it so we won't talk about it."

But of course my mom being my mom can never really let things go. In the car she kept implying how research studies show that people who hold on to stuff are usually the ones that have the biggest outburst. Just saying a whole bunch of crap that she knows nothing about. Really I wasn't even listening to her. I was really excited to get to school. You see I kind of sorta have a boyfriend. His name is Sean Gilmore and he is literally the best guy I know and I couldn't imagine my life without him. Listen to me getting all sappy. I'm not usually like this when it comes to people but he's different.

My mom drop me off right in front of bird berks high. I walk into school and went straight to my locker. On my way to my locker I seen tons of pictures of Mr. Baxter they are literally everywhere. Some are even taped to my locker. :). Whatever I just want to move on with my day and see my kinda sorta boyfriend Sean.

He's usually standing at my locker when I get to school but he wasn't there today which was weird because he's always there. I figured he might be in class already but I don't know it felt weird not having him there. But I didn't think anything of it and went straight to my homeroom.

The day consisted of moment silences and condolences to his fellow beloved students, family and friends. I just really didn't want to hear about it anymore. As much as Mr. Baxter seemed like a nice man, I did not want to waste all of my class time speaking about a man who any of us barely knew and who is now gone ... Forever. But I guess for the teachers and students who've actually spent some time with him and cared for him I feel some what sympathy for. I just don't think talking about someone every second of the day will actually help you get over them. I don't know thats just me I guess.

Well last period had arrived and I haven't seen or heard Sean all day. Which might I add is so unlike him. He usually tells me if he's going to be absent or if he goes home early but he didn't. I guess I just figured maybe he forgot to tell me. I mean I tried texting and calling him but he hasn't responded too anything. But I just let it go for right now I mean he's probably still upset about Mr. Baxter. Did I forget to mention Mr. Baxter and Sean were super close? Sean had always said Mr. Baxter was like a father figure to him and that he helped him more than any teacher at this school. He's a year older than me and had Mr. Baxter last year ... He used to always call him the Dad he never had.

Now that I think about it I hope Sean is probably pissed at me. I was supposed to come over his house Saturday night after the funeral but I cancelled last minute to catch up on some studying. I just figured it wasn't that important and I could make it up to him later. Damn I probably should've went over to make sure he's okay. Shit. I know he's mad, he never avoids me or not answer my calls if things are okay. I guess I I'll just go over to his house after school. Right after the class I've been dreading all day.

A.P English with Mr. Gee now .... I guess.

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