Remember to Forget Me

*Book one of the Remembrance Trilogy* "I love him, Niall," I say through my tears. "I just don't understand why he's so mean one second and then perfectly loving the next." "I know, mate- he does it to me, too. I always thought it was because he hates my family, but I'm not sure anymore," Niall tries to comfort me, pulling my sobbing and gangly body into his embrace. "It'll get better, I prom-" "He has a right to know, and I'm telling him. No more excuses, mate. You're losing him, and I am so not going to deal with what you'll turn into if you lose him," Niall and I hear Zayn say, coming down the stairs in Niall's house and walking to us with the boy in question trailing behind him. "Please, Zayn! I'll tell him- just please don't! I promise I'll tell him this month!" "No, you'll tell him in the next three days," Zayn demands, turning back to face the boy tugging on his sleeve. "Okay, okay... Just please don't tell him now." "Fine, but I'm going home, and don't even think about talking


4. Chapter IV

{Harry's POV}
When she had said Tomlinson, I guess I just lost it- I freaked out, to say the least. I didn't say another word as I drove down her, or Niall's, driveway and stopped next to the door. As soon as she thanked me for the ride and shut the door, I was gone. I needed out of there before I did something irrational.

I wasn't in the state of mind to go home to my stepmonster Robin, and I couldn't go to Liam's house, either- he would be at his little cousin's ballet lessons waiting for her to be done so he could drive her home. So, without exactly having a destination, I chose to just drive. I started down an old road that looked as if it led into the hills, and I haven't stopped since, although it's been a solid hour.

I did, thankfully, decide to text Gemma and let her know that I might not come home tonight, but I would be okay and I needed her to cover for me. She asked why and where I'd be, but I just told her that I needed some time alone and away from people to sort my head out. She said to be safe and didn't press me for any more details, and I promised I would be careful, and then I put my phone on silent before throwing it in a cupholder where I couldn't see it.

I did need to get the homework for tonight, though, so I groaned as I pulled into a small outcropping in the road and shut off the Rover before slowly snatching my phone again. I pulled up my contacts and started scrolling through them slowly just in case Zayn had decided to put a weird name, and found he had put 'BooBear' with a heart beside it as his name. I chuckled and texted him:

Hi... So I need the homework from today. Could you tell me what it is, please?

Surprisingly, he answered back in under a minute with the names and numbers of the assignments we were being forced to do tonight, and an apology for yelling at me earlier in the day.

It's fine, and thank you for the homework. I say, expecting him to not want to talk to me any more than he absolutely had to.

And thank you for taking Lots home today. It was very nice of you. I hope she didn't talk you to death, though. I suddenly get as I'm about to lock it and put it back down, and I'm somewhat happy that he was still talking to me. A sudden thought comes to mind, and I realize he's probably not even interested in boys, and I figure this won't last long.

She was nice, and it was getting cold and rainy. I just didn't want her getting sick, and I also understand what having to walk in the rain is like. But anyway, I have to go... Bye. Thanks again for the homework. Have a nice evening. I send, and then I get back on the road after setting my phone back in the same position it had been in before I retrieved it to ask for my homework.

I put in my new Ed Sheeran CD and started to think about today while I softly sang along with the red head's recorded voice. He's got practically perfect melodies, and listening to his voice helps me to think more clearly.

Niall is Louis' stepbrother, and Niall had conveniently forgotten to mention it. I felt like I should feel betrayed and mad about it, but for an odd, unknown reason all I felt was happiness.

I look out of the window at my surroundings other than the road, and I realize that I don't even have a clue as to where I am. There were trees to my left and a big field to my right, but the weirdest part was that even though when I had dropped off Lottie at home it was cold and showering down rain, and now it was sunny with not even one cloud in sight.

I made a quick decision and pulled into another small outcropping of asphalt. I shut off the engine and slipped my phone into my pocket before sliding out of the Rover. Once I had grabbed my pure black acoustic guitar that I always kept in my trunk, I crossed the street and walked out into the medium length grass. 

I hum a random melody as I walk farther into the perfectly colored grass. It was just a couple of shades darker than Dean Winchester from Supernatural's eyes, and very fluffy. The feel of the grass against my ankles is quite nice, although it reminds me of a childhood that doesn't seem like mine. Where the little boy sprinting through the grass had a caring mum to chase after him.

I don't want to walk anymore because of the amount of memories flooding into my mind, so I sit down facing the miles and miles of mixed shades of brown, yellow, blue and green. I put my guitar on my cross-legged lap and run my fingers softly over the two bass strings. I feel a random tune coming on and I form the fingering of an A minor chord, and I let the song flow out.

"Circles, we're going in circles. Dizzy's all it makes us. We know where it takes us, we've been before. Closer, maybe lookin' closer. There's more to discover. Find out what went wrong without blaming each other," I sing, playing out the melody at the same time. I'm not exactly sure what I'm singing about, but it feels right.

Maybe I'm singing about my mum and how she repeatedly ignores me and acts like everything is perfect. Maybe I'm singing about how Niall keeps lying to me about things that are kind of necessary for me to know. Maybe I'm singing about myself and Louis and how I keep screwing up with him.

A tear slips out of my eye and slides down my cheek and I don't bother to wipe it away. I let a few more fall, and then I laugh.

I'm sitting in a random field in the middle of nowhere, playing guitar, singing, thinking and crying. I'm the definition of a mess.

I set my black-painted instrument on the ground next to me and run a hand through my thick curly brown hair.

I lower myself onto the ground and lay on my back. The sky is a perfect shade of blue, and the trees to my left are a nice shade of dark green.

"I've missed this," I say aloud, crossing my arms over my chest and doing the same with my ankles.

I've practically fallen asleep when my phone vibrates in my pocket. I debate whether or not to check it because I really don't want to, but I end up pulling the electronic silver rectangle into my hand anyway. Besides, it might be important.

Hey, so I was just wondering if maybe you'd want to talk for a bit? If you're not busy, of course... I read, and my jaw drops.

Louis Tomlinson is asking to talk with me. I think. I've wanted this to happen for at least a year. How the hell did I get so lucky?

I quickly type and send; No, I'm not busy. I'm in a random field somewhere. I think I might actually be lost, but I guess I kind of wanted to be lost. If that even makes sense. 

It makes total sense. Getting away is nice, and especially great if you don't have a clue as to where you are. He replies with.

Yes, it's pretty nice. Although this field is bringing back memories of a time I'd rather forget. I say, and I'm not entirely sure of why I'm telling him all of this.

 I understand. My childhood was a bit rough. Hell, even now is a bit rough, but we always have to be perfect because we have an image to uphold, right? Yeah, well, wrong. We shouldn't be defined by how we act. We should be defined by who we are as a whole. And hey, could I ask why you wanted to get lost?

Well, it's been a stressful day.

Want to talk about it? He sends, and I hesitate. Do I really want to talk about Louis to Louis?

I found out one of my closest friends has been lying to me for quite a while, and I'm getting quite a few mixed signals from the person I like. And I also have to go home to a dysfunctional family. So I guess you could say I'm just having a downright horrible day. But I'm fine, or at least I will be until I go home. I send, trusting my instinct that says it's okay to talk to him. 

I'm sorry.

What are you sorry for? I ask, confused.

Niall and I... We're brothers. Rather, step brothers, but still. We should've told you. If no one else, at least you and Liam. I'm sorry we didn't tell you. 

I don't know how to respond to that. Should I thank him for being honest with me, or should I act mad at him because it took so long for them to tell me? Should I do what I normally do and just say everything is okay when in reality everything isn't even close to it? 

The vibration of my phone causes me to jump because I had spaced out and forgot where I was. I look down and see that it's Niall calling me.

"I really don't even care," I say to no one in particular before I bring the phone up to my ear. "Hey, Nialler. What's going on?"

"I need to tell you something, and I think it might make you mad that I put off telling you for so long," Niall's Irish accented voice chimes in a worried tone. 

"I already know about Louis," I confess to him in a tired tone, and I can almost see how he'd run his fingers through his hair and pull on it because he feels bad about not having told me.

"Harry, I'm really sorry..." he trails off." I should've told you sooner."

"It's fine," I say. I don't want him to feel bad. I mean, yeah, I'm mad at him for not telling me and I'm confused about his reasoning, but knowing Niall, he'll spend at least two years trying to make up for it.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure, Niall. Next time you get a family member, though, let me know."

"No problem. You'll be the first to know next time- I promise," he swears, and I barely keep myself from laughing. "Hey, also, Louis and I thought maybe you could stay at our place tonight? Zayn will be here, as well."

"I'm actually kind of lost right now, but I'd love to as soon as I can find my way back to the city," I admit shyly.

"Only you, Harry. Do you want me to find you?" Niall asks, slightly laughing on the other end. 

"No, I'll use the GPS on my phone."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm good... but I should get going here soon."

"Okay, should I tell Jay to save some food for you?"

"No, I'll pick up something on the way- I'll be fine."

"Okay, then I'll see you in a bit."

"Yep," I say, and then I hang up. I look down at my guitar once more before I lazily stand with a sigh. I wish I could've stayed here longer. It really was helping me clear my head.

The sky is still clear, but it's getting darker by the minute. It's getting to be around seven o'clock, and it's always pitch black by nine.

I drop my guitar in the Rover's truck again, which is unsurprisingly still in the same spot I left it, and then I jump into the driver's seat.

I guess I'll see how this goes.

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...