Remember to Forget Me

*Book one of the Remembrance Trilogy* "I love him, Niall," I say through my tears. "I just don't understand why he's so mean one second and then perfectly loving the next." "I know, mate- he does it to me, too. I always thought it was because he hates my family, but I'm not sure anymore," Niall tries to comfort me, pulling my sobbing and gangly body into his embrace. "It'll get better, I prom-" "He has a right to know, and I'm telling him. No more excuses, mate. You're losing him, and I am so not going to deal with what you'll turn into if you lose him," Niall and I hear Zayn say, coming down the stairs in Niall's house and walking to us with the boy in question trailing behind him. "Please, Zayn! I'll tell him- just please don't! I promise I'll tell him this month!" "No, you'll tell him in the next three days," Zayn demands, turning back to face the boy tugging on his sleeve. "Okay, okay... Just please don't tell him now." "Fine, but I'm going home, and don't even think about talking


1. Chapter I

{Harry's POV}
"Harry, are you seriously staring at him again?" I hear my best friend, Niall, say from the other side of my locker door, making me jump. "You know how much of a jerk he is."

I take a moment to gather oxygen into my lungs again before I reply to him. "Yes, I do know how you feel about him, and no I wasn't staring- I didn't even know he was over here yet."

"Bullshit," I hear my other close friend, Liam, mutter from behind me, scaring me once more.

"First of all, stop sneaking up on me, and second, I really had no idea as to where he was, and I don't like him all that much, either, so why would I even want to know anything about him at all? He's just some popular arsehole fourth year, anyway," I rebuttal, feeling bad about calling him an arse, but it seems to shut them up for now, which was the only thing I had wanted at that point. I was having a bad day in the first place, and I'd rather not have them complaining about the one and only person I have ever liked. 

"Seriously?" Niall suddenly growls as we walk through the lunch room doors. "I swear to any higher power there has ever been that I am so going to kill him."

Liam reaches out and gets a death grip on Niall's wrists before I even know what's happening.

"Niall, calm down!" Liam grunts, trying to keep a hold on him. "Jesus, just stop fighting me! Whatever's wrong won't be solved with violence!"

Then, as quickly as he had started to get mad and pull away from Liam, Niall just froze. He stopped pulling against Liam and just stood there. He continued to just stand there as Liam slowly dropped his arms, and it seemed as if Niall was a little too calm.

"You good, mate?" Liam asks as he takes a slow step away from him. I just raise an eyebrow at him- I'd never really been one to talk all that much. 

"Never better, Liam," Niall responds, stuffing his hands into his pockets and looking down to the ground. "Let's go out to the fields and play some futbol. I'll snatch my ball from my locker on the way."

"I'm up for it," one of Niall's third year friends say as they come up and lay a hand on Niall's shoulder, and I recognize him as Josh Devine; the other assistant team captain of the futbol team. "What about you two?"

"I'm in... Harry?" Liam hesitates, turning towards me. They always try to include me in things like futbol, but I usually say no because I just don't really have the form to do it being six-foot-one and all. I fall more than I can touch the ball, and I hate it.

"No, but thanks, I... uh... I have to go retake a test," I lie, trying to think fast and sound convincing at the same time, but I know for a fact that none of them believe me.

"Retake a test? You're a straight A student who not only skipped a year, but is also in fourth year classes as a second year... For some reason I seriously doubt that you have to 'retake a test,'" Josh says a little loudly, crossing his arms over his chest. I'm almost absolutely sure that the kids walking by us heard him talking about me, and my cheeks flame red as the embarrassment sets in. "Let's just go play some futbol, Harry. Have some fun and live a little for once."

"I just can't," I blankly answer before spinning on the heel of my Converse and walking away toward my locker. Luckily, none of them follow me. I just want to be alone right now. 

Once I reach my painted tan body locker, which is unfortunately in the fourth year hallway, I decide against opening it. The cold metal feels nice against my back through my red plaid shirt as I slide to sit down against it. I want to just sit here and think.

I love Niall and Liam to death, and they're the best friends that I've ever had, but sometimes they just don't understand me. I get nervous and anxious and scared all at the same time occasionally, and then it gets hard for me to keep it together. I can't play futbol with them because, well, I can barely balance while walking, and I doubt trying to run and kick a ball at the same time is good for my health. 

I hear laughter coming from down the hallway to my right, and I instinctively turn my head to investigate who it is. It turns out to just be three fourth year boys whom I recognize from the futbol team, but I'm always nervous around people other than Niall, Liam and Josh.

As I try not to meet their eyes by looking down at my hands, I attempt to stand up and retreat down the hallway, but before I can fully stand I'm pushed back down with an object being pressed roughly onto my throat. My heart races as I try not only to claw the shoe off of me, but also to breathe.

"Oh, look! It's the nerd! Where's your two lone friends? Did they finally get tired of having to lug your arse around everywhere just so you'd do their homework for them?" a male voice I don't recognize taunts, and I feel the familiar sting behind my eyes telling me I'm slowly forming tears. Niall and Liam are my friends because they like me, right? They're not just playing it that way so that I do some of their homework, right? 

"Get off of him, Jason," I hear his voice say, and for some reason I forget that I need to breathe and I stop trying to pull the shoe off of me.

"What, Louis, you got a soft spot for the idiot?" the person I assume is Jason says, pressing his foot into my neck just a tiny bit harder, which makes me try to cough, but I can't because he's restraining my body from taking in oxygen.

I strain to look behind Jason and at Louis. He's wearing his usual attire: black vans, black skinny jeans with the bottoms rolled up just past his ankles, a grey jumper on his torso, light brown hair combed across his forehead almost effortlessly to look like the perfect blend between messy and organized.

"Just get off of him, Jason- last chance," Louis' sweet voice warns, and then suddenly the pressure is gone from my neck and I'm coughing up a storm. 

"Whatever, Louis, but don't let us stop you from making sure your little boyfriend gets a good kiss before we go," Jason insults sarcastically, shoving Louis toward me. My heart jumped just a bit at the mention of 'boyfriend.' 

I can't quite read the look on Louis' face as he stumbles and just barely catches himself on the lockers before falling onto me. He regains his balance with a knowing and shining smile dancing on his features.

"Says the one who had sex with Aaron Drake last Saturday," Louis retorts, crossing his arms over his chest; he knows he's won.

By this time I've stopped coughing and I'm curled in on myself against the lockers while watching this unfold in front of me- too scared to move even a finger. I see Jason's cheeks burst with bright red color, as he takes a quick glance at his friends who are stifling a laugh.

"One day you're going to get yourself hurt, Tomlinson. You're just lucky I'm not allowed to start a fight this week," Jason threatens before walking toward me. I can see the deadly smirk on his face as he closes the gap between us. I close my eyes and yelp in pain as he swings his leg at my side and then smacks me hard in the jaw. I fold in on myself as his laughter fades with his footsteps.

"What the fuck?" I hear Louis growl, and I look up at him to see that he's pacing with his arms crossed and a hateful glare focused on me. "Why the hell didn't you do something? Are you seriously that pathetic to where you can't even attempt to defend yourself?" He stops pacing and takes a few steps toward me, looking like a bomb that's about to explode. "You're a failure, you know that? I really hope you know that," he finishes with before stalking off toward the direction of the cafeteria without taking a single glance back.

I just lay on the ground as the left side of my torso throbs painfully with every breath I take. I know I need to get up and go to the health office to get myself checked, but it's okay to just sit here for a small minute, right?

A few minutes turns into ten or twenty as I think about the event of today; Louis defending me against Jason, but then yelling at me right after. I hadn't thought I had done anything wrong, but I guess Louis had found something I did to be wrong. Louis thought I was a failure- he'd said so himself. Had I also done something to him in the past?

My head wasn't slowing down and it was getting harder and harder for me to breathe because I had pulled my legs against my chest, so I figured I'd best try to get up and get ready for class, which just so happened to be one of the four I share with Louis.

When I attempt to move it feels like there's a thousand stinging hot needles being pushed into my lungs and side, so while wincing in pain I decide against moving until I absolutely have to so that I can get to class. My mind has just started to drift back to Louis when someone turns the corner from the direction of the cafeteria and comes rushing up to me.

"Are you okay?" the black-haired boy asks, and he looks distinctly familiar, but I can't seem to remember from where. He kneels down beside me, and I nod to say I'm fine. "Okay, let's get you on your feet, then."

I nod again, and then instinctively lean forward fastly to jump up. A small whimper escapes my lips as the pain hits full force. He ends up pulling all of my weight up by himself because I'm in so much pain. When I'm finally standing he lets me lean against the lockers to recover from the ache that still feels like needles.

"I heard about what happened..." he starts, and I look up to see his face. How could he have known already? There was only Louis along with Jason and his two friends, and I know rumors spread like wildfires, but it's never been possible for one to spread this fast. 

I must have had a very confused look on my face because he suddenly explains, "Oh, um... I'm Zayn Malik; one of Louis' friends. He told me, and then he told me to... to check on you." 

"He told you to check on me?" I ask quietly, not really believing it. He had been so angry at me, so why would he care?

"Yeah... He knows how hard Jason can kick because of futbol, and he was frant- worried about you," Zayn explains, cutting himself off and changing his sentence right in the middle of it. I don't really care all that much, though- I'm more focused on the fact that Louis told him to check on me; Louis. I remember to nod to communicate that I heard him, and then I look down at my pure black converse while trying to even out my breathing. "You don't talk much, do you?" he asks, and I shake my head. "Okay, well I think it's time to get you to the nurse's office now."

He puts my good arm over his shoulder and tries to move me, but I cling to the lockers. "What about class?" I ask hesitantly. "I have fourth year calculus in a few minutes."

"And Louis said you were a fuckin' second year! Holy matrimony be damned," I barely hear him mumble before dropping my arm and turning to face me. Louis had told him I was a second year? What else had he told him? "Uh... is that a class you have with Louis?" he asks, and I'm tempted to say no, but I nod my head anyway. "Okay, then I'll just text him to tell the professor you're in the nurse's office, and then I'll give you Louis' number so you can text him and ask for the homework."

It's suddenly almost impossible to breathe. Text Louis?

"Oh God, you're pale. Could I please take you to the nurse's office now?" he asks impatiently, but it's more of a demand rather than a question. I nod and let him put my arm around his shoulders again, even though I'm still having a miniature heart attack over the thought of actually texting Louis.

It's extremely hard to move my side, so I just lean almost all of my weight on Zayn. He seems nice enough, but I'm not exactly sure of what to make of him yet. The only thing I really know about him is that he's Louis' friend.

"What year are you?" I whisper hesitantly as we near the nurse's office' I'm not used to attempting to talk to anyone besides Niall, Liam, teachers and occasionally Josh.

"What'd you say? I didn't quite hear you, sorry," he apologizes as he starts to open the big wooden door. I clear my throat before trying to talk again.

"What year are you?"

"Fourth- same as Louis. I've been his best friend since the day he moved here at the end of our second year.  He was a real dick at first, but then I learned about his... never mind... that's his business to tell you- not mine," he suddenly interrupts himself again, and then pulls me into the office. Before I get a chance to even think about what he could've been about to say, Zayn is already telling the nurse a lie about how I was hurt; "He had his locker open and then slipped and fell into the door pretty hard. Could you check him out, please? He can't move that well."

"Yeah, no problem! That's what I'm here for!" the smiley nurse says cheerfully, and I'm already dreading when Zayn will have to leave me alone with her. I can just imagine the rainbows and unicorn kind of things she'll have me do...

"Thanks," Zayn says to the nurse, and then turns to me. "If you hand me your phone I can put Louis' cell number in your contacts."

My breath catches in my throat as I dig in my good side's pocket for my phone. I flinch at how new and expensive the iPhone looks. I'm almost completely sure I'd be qualified as 'rich' to many people, and I hate it. I don't want to stand out. 

I tap in my five digit passcode, 56847, and then hand him my shiny silver iPhone 6. He looks moderately surprised as he takes it and asks, "What generation is this? It's huge."

"Six..." I trail off, my voice barely being audible.

"How long have you had it?" he asks, finally starting to click his fingers against the screen.

"Since the beginning of July," I answer, waiting for a gasp.

"When did it come out for people to buy it, again?"

"It comes out next week on the twenty-second. I got it early because my mum married a man who works higher up in the chain for Apple, and Apple gave Robin a chance to get the phones for my mum and me," I explain to him, and I barely finish before the warning bell rings to signal that we've only got five minutes until class starts.

"I've got to go, but his number is in your contacts. Take care of yourself, Harry, and I'll see you around," he says as he hands my phone back to me and walks to the door. "And I hope your side feels better soon. 

He's out of the door and gone by the time I've got my mouth opened to speak, so I just shut my lips and look to the nurse. She waits until the door clicks closed before speaking to me.

"Finally; now, what really happened? I promise that nothing will leave this room- not a word," she says, crossing her arms and leaning against the counter behind her.

I debate whether or not to tell her as I quickly take a couple looks around the room. There's one door leading to the hall where Zayn had just exited, and one other big wooden door which I assume leads to the main office, and both of which are closed. For privacy, I assume, there were no windows built into this room, so there's no possible way that someone could find out if I told her, right? She said it would stay in here, right?

"You don't have to tell me, but I know for a fact that you were not hurt to where you were limping just by falling onto your locker door," she speaks again, still leaning on the counter. "You can trust me, Harry- I'm not going to do or say anything to anyone unless you ask me to; I give you my word."

I clear my throat before speaking, and then take a breath. "A fourth year on the futbol team found me sitting in the halls alone and started to tease me, but then... a boy... he, uh... He came up and told Jason to leave me alone. Jason refused at first, but the boy knew something that Jason didn't want people knowing about, and so Jason got mad and hit me a few times before he walked away laughing. The pain doesn't hurt as much now as it did when he first kicked me. You don't have to waste time on me. I can go back to class or I can go home. You don't have to-"

"Harry! Slow down and stop talking for a second. You look like you want to cry," she suddenly interrupts, and then pulls away from the counter and walks toward where I'm sitting atop the cold metal examination table. "Is there something else that's bothering you? You seem shaken, and I don't think it's because of Jason..." I look down at my shoes as I wipe away a tear that's threatening to slide down my cheek as images of Louis yelling at me and saying I was a failure flash through my mind. "What is it, Harry? A girl? Friend troubles? You can talk to me- I promise I won't say a word to anyone unless you want me to." 

I look first at her small white name tag that's marked with 'Eleanor Calder - School Nurse,' and then I look up to her face. I avoid looking at her hazel eyes as I tell her what I've only managed to tell one other person. I don't know why I do, but I trust her.

"There's this boy, the same boy that told Jason to get away from me, and his name is Louis Tomlinson. He's a fourth year... Do you know of him?" I ask, and she nods quietly as she hops up to sit on the metal table next to me. "Well, I uh... I kind of... I guess I sort of... like him. He's just so... I don't even know. When he walks down the halls I can't help but stare. I watch the way he walks, or the way he brushes his fringe out of his eyes, or how he'll laugh at his own jokes. He's just so purely beautiful to me. Before today, I had only talked to him in the four classes we share. He'd never really been all that nice to me, but he'd never really been mean, either. He would just ignore me... and today, when he defended me from Jason I thought that he cared, but after Jason and his friends left he just turned on me. He started yelling and telling me that I was a failure and that he hoped I knew that I was a failure. I just don't know how to process it, and it's just so confusing and frustrating," I say, taking in another big breath. It feels amazing to say all of this aloud, but at the same time it absolutely terrifies me. "And then there's my best friend Niall who hates everything about Louis, so I have to pretend that I'm okay with Niall insulting Louis on a daily basis. And also there's my other best friend Liam, and he doesn't particularly like Louis, but he doesn't dislike him, either. So I'm just stuck. Niall and Liam catch me staring at Louis sometimes, and usually the only way I can get them to shut up about it is to insult Louis myself, and it tears me apart every time."

By the time I finish my eyes are soaked in tears and I'm sobbing, which makes my side hurt, which only stresses me more and makes me cry harder. I can feel Eleanor's hand on my back as she lays me down on the cold table.

"Shh... Harry, it's okay. You'll be okay. It's good to cry, but it seems like it's hurting you, so could you try to calm down a little bit so I can look at your side?" she asks, concern lacing her voice. 

"It just hurts, Eleanor. Why is it hard? Why is it confusing and why does it hurt?" I try to say, but I think it sounds more like a dying dolphin sound rather than actual words.

Suddenly I'm pulled up and I'm being hugged tightly, which hurts, but I don't really care at this point. Small hands are rubbing up and down on my back, and it feels good. There's a voice of an angel singing in my ear, and it makes me relax a little. 

"You're not alone- I'll listen 'till your tears give out. You're safe and sound; I swear that I won't let you down. What's hurting you, I, I feel it, too. I mean it when I say when you cry, I cry with you," she sings. I listen to the rises and the sweet dynamics she has in her voice to calm myself. She keeps singing as she continues to rub my back, and I slowly get tired. The pain in my side isn't as bad because I've been in the same position for a while, and I've stopped crying. I just lay my head on her shoulder and close my eyes. 

"Harry?" she asks softly, still letting her fingertips graze over my back. I try to answer her, but the most I can get out is a muffled 'hmm?' 

"I'm going to lay you back down on the table and you can sleep, but do you mind if I look at your side while you're sleeping? I want to make sure you haven't broken anything, okay?"

"Okay," I mumble, and I barely feel anything as she lowers me down onto the metal table again. I feel her put a pillow under my head as I start to fade out of consciousness.

"Just sleep, Harry. It'll all be okay later, but just sleep for now, Hun," is the last thing I hear before the world goes black.

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