Better Together ~ Shawn Mendes

Maybe that's the problem with everyone. We give up. To easily. But . . . that's just the thing, isn't it? Giving up is easy. It's easy to walk away. It's easy to not face the problem. It's easy to not fight. It's so damn easy.
And I have the same fault.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"shawn, I love you. And I know you love me. But this was never going to work and I'm sorry that this has to be this way. I love you and I hope you find a way to be happy some day; to find someone who can make you happy. But for now you need to be a father, and a boyfriend, to someone that isn't me." I choke out finally.

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17. unknown message

We stayed silent for what felt like an hour, after he had finished speaking. There were so many things I wanted to say, but I wasn't sure what should come first, nor was I sure of any of things I wanted to say. So I spoke the one thing in my world right now that I was absolutely certain of at this moment.

" I love you shawn." I tell him. He inhales sharply and then pulls me closer to him, resting his cheek on the top of my head.

"I know, Brie , I know. I love you too." he whispers back. I wrap my arms tighter around him and just hold him. I don't know how long we stayed like that but I knew that I could stay like that forever. As long as I was with shawn. As long as I was in his arms. I was happy. I was complete. It was sort of like a missing puzzle piece of me had been stolen from me for so long and finally at last it was put into place and I couldn't be happier.

I don't know if you know how that feels like. To long for something for so long, to need it, yet not know where it went. Or how to get it back. To want something for so long that it hurts you every single day of your life. Where you just wish you could go back in time, and change everything. For me it would be to change the day I left. I would stay I think, if I could do it again. So that I could be with shawn for so long instead of trying to hurt myself, instead of wanting to die. Because that is something I never want to deal with again, it was painful in more ways than one and it hurts to remember that place I had been in at one point. It hurts so much, and I would never want to go back there again. I had noticed shawn had begun to whisper into my hair, "I love you, I love you, I love you," over and over. It warmed my heart, my body, and my possibly existent soul. As much as I wanted to stay in his arms for the rest of eternity, there was something I wanted to do even more.

I leaned into his tempting lips, the suspense of waiting one more second was killing me. Our breaths met in the small space between our parted lips, anxious for the contact. Finally our lips meshed together in the most perfect way. I pull him closer to me, deepening the kiss as he strengthens his grip around me. I want more, more, more. I haven’t held him like this, with so much love, for so long. Back at Cam and Nash’s we did it more out of lust and our craving for one another than for actual love, so to be here, now and holding him, it’s what I’ve been waiting for.

He lifts me up, carrying me into my bedroom and setting me on the bed. Our arms link together as our legs somehow get tangled. His kiss is full of passion and I react with all of the feelings I have gathered in the past 15 months of waiting. His hands run down my spine and through my hair, finally resting around my waist under my shirt. I want to separate all of the boundaries between us and to hold on forever. I don’t want things to go back to the way they were. I just want to be with shawn, here, now, and forever.

I don’t know what I would or could do if things turned bad again.

I don’t know if I could survive it.

shawns pov*

When I finally manage to open my eyes,Bries warmth that was previously beside me, is no longer there. I glance around wildly hoping it wasn't all a dream. I sigh in relief when u realize that I'm in her bedroom in her apartment. I'm about to get up to see where she is when I hear the shower turning on. I slump back down on the bed and my phone buzzes with an incoming text. I grab it out of my jeans on the floor and open the text. The number isn't in my contacts so it pops up as unknown,I read it through and swear under my breath, realizing who it is and what the text means...

Unknown: shawn the test results came in, they were positive. you need to tell her, we're running out of time.

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