Better Together ~ Shawn Mendes

Maybe that's the problem with everyone. We give up. To easily. But . . . that's just the thing, isn't it? Giving up is easy. It's easy to walk away. It's easy to not face the problem. It's easy to not fight. It's so damn easy.
And I have the same fault.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"shawn, I love you. And I know you love me. But this was never going to work and I'm sorry that this has to be this way. I love you and I hope you find a way to be happy some day; to find someone who can make you happy. But for now you need to be a father, and a boyfriend, to someone that isn't me." I choke out finally.

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9. home is where the heart is

 

I'm finally home. And I don't know what to do. My mom, and even my brother are leaving me alone and I'm just in my room, unpacking my suitcases and crying. I honestly don't remember when the last time was when I stopped crying for more than 2 minutes. Chloe texted me 5 minutes ago saying she was on her way over. She knew something was wrong when I had texted her earlier: It hurts so bad clo , it really does.

I don't even remember sending it . . . .

"Brie?! Brie! Honey, what are you doing?" Chloe comes running into my room, closing the door behind her. She immediately notices the tears on my face and she pulls me into her embrace. "Sweetie, you can't keep doing this to yourself. Brie. Brie, look at me." I'm avoiding her eye contact, but I reluctantly glance up into her green orbs to see my own tear stained cheeks reflected in them. "What happened? What's wrong?" I sigh, my lip trembling as I reply.

"Many things. So many things clo. So many things are wrong." I whisper. She sighs, her hand rubbing my back as the tears continually stream down my cheeks.

"Like what?" she whispers back. By now we're both leaned against my pillows on my bed and I'm hugging her side, wishing this would all just go away.

"Clo- I don't want to talk - "

"It's good to talk." I sigh and realize that she's right. There's so much pent up emotion in my body that I don't know if I can contain it much longer. I don't know if I'll be able to stand being here for much longer.

"It's just. I love him. I love shawn . I love him so much. And I know that I said that before, that I was in love. But I think it's a different kind of love, when you don't really know him. You know?" She nods as I continue. "Before I went to MAGCON, I loved the idea of him. I loved everything I saw in his vines, and videos. I loved him on the other side of that screen. But once you - once I - met him it was different. It was so different. Because I've learned to love him for him. Everything about him. All of his flaws, his weird quirks and fetishes, everything. I love everything about him clo. And now he's gone. I left." I whisper. She just says nothing, knowing that I have more to say.

"Sometimes, when I couldn't sleep, I would just have to text him. I would just text him and he would come. No matter what time it was. No matter how tired he might be, he would come to me. And we would lay down and talk about anything and everything. And he would just hold me until I fell asleep." I whisper. Chloe is silent and for once I wish she would tell me if I was wrong. If I was wrong for leaving. If I should've stayed. But at the same time, I'm worried about what her answer may be. So I don't ask her.

"You shouldn't have left." apparently I don't need to ask. I sigh.

"Why do you say that?" I ask, my voice hoarse and whispery.

"Because Brie !" she says loudly. I flinch, she's obviously not going to tiptoe around my feelings. Which if I'm being honest; I'm glad of. "You are so obviously in love with that boy! So why would you leave? Are you going to leave and give up every time something gets too hard?! Cause if that's your plan, then ha, good luck!" she exclaims. Then at a more whispering level, "I've listened carefully to everything you said. And darling, you are in love with shawn. So don't let him go. Please, don't." she tells me. I look up into her eyes and see her own hurt reflected in them. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, what happened? Why is she so hurt-looking?

"Clo . . . what's wrong?" I ask, this time it's my turn to listen. But it appears as if she has nothing more to say then,

"We broke up." Her boyfriend and her. They broke up. No wonder she looks so upset. They've been dating for 2 years. But wait, I know.

"Oh. So . . . you're telling me to go back?" I question her, an idea forming in my head. She nods slowly.

"Yes, Brie. You love him. You need to go back to him." I nod firmly.

"Fine, okay." I wipe away my tears and stand up, reaching out a hand for her. She takes it gladly and once we're both standing I look her squarely in the eye and I say,

"But you're coming with me."

_______________

Chloe's been gone for about 2 hours and I'm tossing around what I need to say to shawn . 'BTW, I'm coming back to MAGCON cause I realized that I can't leave you'? I don't know, that just doesn't feel right. My phone beeps with an incoming text and I go to it:

shawnie<3: Please Come Back Brie. I love you. I love you. I love you. If you do decide to come back, then our next stop is in LA. You could come. Please? I love you. I love you.

 

shawnie<3: brie, please answer me. baby ill do anything please

 

.shawnie<3: babe, i need you. please, please, come back to us, to jenna, to me. i need you brie i really need you

 

shawnie<3: im serious when i say i need you brie, im sorry if i did or didnt do anything, i dont want to lose you. please.....i love you, yes, i love you brie. IM IN LOVE WITH YOU.

i love you shawn.

LA? . . . . I'll see you soon baby. I'll see you soon.

_______________________________________

 

This has to be a joke. This cannot be happening.

"Mom please!" I beg. She shakes her head firmly.

"No Brie. Look what happened to you last time! I am not going to expose my daughter to that again! I'm sorry but my answer is final." she is refusing to let me go to LA.

"But - but- but mom - please - mom seriously - "

"Brie. No. Now stop, this conversation is over." she tells me. And then I scream at her one thing I wasn't really planning on telling her.

"I LOVE HIM!!! YOU CAN'T KEEP ME AWAY FROM HIM MOM, I LOVE HIM!!!" By now I'm crying and my hands are balled into fists at my sides. She turns back around and looks at me, and for a second I think she might agree. But then she rolls her eyes at me.

"Honestly Brie, do you even know what love is?" she questions me. I laugh at her.

"Of course I do!" She looks at me like I'm a five year old asking to drive. That didn't make sense . . . .

"Then please do explain!" she demands. I take a deep breathe.

"Love is when your - your heart hurts when you're not around him. It's when you are always thinking of him and you try your hardest to make him happy because that's the only thing you want. You just want him to be happy. To be with happy with you. And when you're with him, and you know you love him; it's like nothing else in this world exists except for you and him because you love him so much. And, and when you do something that hurts the two of you, when you leave, you don't do it for you. I didn't do it for me! I did it for him! I was hitting rock bottom! I knew I was! And I was scared, so I left! Yeah! THERE I ADMITTED IT!! I LEFT BECAUSE I WAS SCARED!! But not for me, for him. I was scared that I would drag him down with me and then we would both drown! And I sure as hell didn't want that!! So yell at me all I want about not knowing what love is! But there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to keep ME away from HIM!! Because I love him mom. I love him more than anything on this hell of an earth."

A/n please like and comment and fav so I know to do more like this!!

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