Forbidden

"You can't break a girl who's already broken and you can't hurt a girl who's already dead inside."
Pain, it's all that exists in this horrid world. Judgmental monsters, people who scold you for being yourself. Just being yourself, you are told to stop being a wreck. You feel like you are slowly losing connection to your body, fading into darkness, away from the light. Further and further you fall, no one is there to catch you. The only way out is pain, pain is the key. The blade, it haunts you until you can't resist the urge to watch the thick red liquid drip from the cut. Suddenly it all becomes numb, no one cares to listen. No one pays attention, you keep falling further. Your echoes cannot be heard, no one is going to save you. You are stuck in the dark with no way out. It all comes down to that one person that is your last hope. Help. Help me please. Help me escape these demons.

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5. Chapter 4

        Chapter 4
    The bell rung, resulting in Cala saying a swift 'see you soon' before exiting the restroom and heading off to her locker. I sighed and left myself, slowly making my way to my locker. Staying behind a few minutes was a great idea because no one is in the hall to beat me. I finally reach my locker and stick in the combination before opening it. Everything is really neat, so I pull out my History and shut my locker, continuing down the hall to the class room.
    The teacher stops his lecture as I enter the room. "Ms. Jackson, you're late." Laughs sounded from multiple people.
    "Sorry, I was in the restroom." 
    He nods, "Take a seat and pay attention." I nod before taking my usual seat at the back of the classroom, drowning out the lesson and focusing on absolutely nothing, that is until I hear my name being called. 
    "Excuse me, is Ms. Elony Jackson in here?" A woman asked from the door. Mr. Howard nods, pointing over at me. "May I take her? The office would like to see her." He says yes and I gather my book before following her out of the class and down to the office. She opens the door for me. 
    "Ms. Jackson, I wanted to talk to you about something." The principle says.
    "Yeah?"
    "It appears that another student has told me that you have been picking on them. May I ask why?" My eyes widen.
    "What? I didn't do anything, I swear!" I exclaim, throwing my hand up in defense.
    "Alright, well has anyone done anything to you today at all?" I shake my head, not wanting to get Mollie in trouble because I don't want anymore drama. "Alright, well, according to the nurse she said that she has saw your arms have some scars or something on them? She sent a sheet in and she advises you see the school counselor. That's why you are in here." I gulp, how did she find out? My wrists weren't exposed. "So, you can make your way there now, it's right across the hall, Ms. Ericks is waiting for you." I saw and exit the office walking across the hall to the door that has the plaque that reads "Ms. Ericks" on it. I slowly knock on the door.
    "Come in!" Someone shouts from inside. I cautiously open the door, an older looking woman sat at a desk looking at her computer and typing away frantically. 
    "I was sent here my the principle." I mumble. She looks up.
    "Right! Elony is it?" She smiles softly at me. I nod. "I'm Ms. Ericks. Nice to meet you." She puts her hand out. I reluctantly shake it. "Why don't you take a seat? I have a few questions to ask you and you'll be done, alright?" I nod taking a seat on a chair opposite of where she sits. Her laptop closes and she pushed her glasses up the ridge of her nose. "Do you know why you're in here?" I nod. "Alright, well may I see your arms?" I pull my sleeves up and expose my scars to her. Her forehead creases as she scans over the new and old scars. "Most of these are fresh. When was the last time you cut?" 
    "Er- a couple days ago." She nods, writing something down on a paper in front of her. 
    "What triggers you to do this?" I sigh.
    "They call me fat, ugly and stupid. It's all true." She shakes her head a frown forming. 
    "Don't say that darling. You're beautiful." I shake my head at her answer. 
    "Are you going to tell my mother?" She shakes her head.
    "No, your secrets are safe with me." I nod and fumble with my fingers. "The nurse also said that you looked extremely thin. When was the last time you ate?" 
    "Three days ago..." She nods writing again.
    "Alright, are you hungry now?" I shake my head. "Alright, so are things okay at home?" I shrug.
    "My mother's barely around, she works pretty much all day and night. Whenever I am home, she goes straight to bed. I work weekends as a waitress and that's about it." 
    "What does your father do?" My throat runs dry.
    "My father took his life when I was five." She sends me a sympathetic smile.
    "Sorry, I didn't know." I shake my head.
    "It's fine."
    "So, is there anything you enjoy doing?" I nod.
    "Singing, writing, drawing, dancing, and creating things I guess." She smiles.
    "Wonderful. You can go far in all of those things." I nod. "So, what are some things about you?" 
    "I'm a boring soul, so nothing particularly interesting." 
    "Alright, well have you ever considered taking your own life?" 
    "Yes, but I don't have the guts to do it. I keep having this dream and my dad is in it, he tells me to keep holding on and I do. I do it for him." 
    "That's great, well I just wanted to ask a few questions, so I'm gonna have you come back twice a week. Okay?" I nod. "It was great meeting you sweetie. And remember, keep strong for your dad." I smile lightly before getting up and exiting the room.

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This is the last update for a little bit school starts tomorrow and I'll be focused on that and I'll only be able to update on weekends if I don't end up being too tired. I'm sorry about this and I apologize if anyone finds this chapter crap. I wanted to update one last time before it was time to go back. Enjoy.

 

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