High School Anxiety

My mind is different than yours and yours is different from the next but do we share how we all think about high school? Everything has been changed and everything is different.

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46. Gemma's high school Life

          I think that I am going to do two in one. I' ll do that because I didn't do one last night. It was bad. I was mad at my head and my mind. Those things are not good to be mad at. I mean have you ever been mad at your own mind and head. If that wasn't bad enough my sister had her friend over and most of what they were talking about would remind me of somethings that I want to forget. It was bad things. Memories that I try hard to keep covered up by good things. I have written about it in this but I can't bring myself to rewrite it. It is that bad. 

          Last night I had a nightmare again. They happen more often now than they used to. It has something to do with the day that my life got turned around. I am not going to write about it again. If you want to read about it go back through this to find it. I don't think that it would be a short one I think that it would be long but not long enough to be boring to anyone. I think at least. But the nightmares have come back. I don't like them. They scare me and I don't like being scared awake by something like that. I don't what the nightmares back. I hate them in fact. I wish that I hadn't had that happen. But I am still trying to find out that if I could go back to change it if I would go back to it and change it. This one is for 10-17-16.

          

         Next day from that.

         

          I told you that I would do two. And I am happy that I am going to do two. So I write that one up there during school because it was the only time I thought to write it. My next class would be of course something that would hurt my eyes. Intro Into Film. I don't want to do it but it looks fun enough to give it a try. I like the teacher Paul. No not in that way. I mean he is a cool teacher. He is cool in the way of that we are going to be watching movies for a few weeks and then we get down to work. It would be better. I mean a few movies yes and then a lot more work time than everything else. Yes, the class has flaws. Yes, I would like to see those flaws changed a little bit. Yes, it is still sounding like a cool class to be in. Oh and I forgot the day. It is 10-18-16.

          I had my dad sign the slip for me to watch rated R movies. I think that it is funny that they have to sign a slip for us to watch rated R movies when everyone already does it without knowing it. My dad looked down the list of movies that we are going to watch. I was staring at him wide-eyed with my mouth hanging open when he finished. Out of god knows how many movies are on that list he has seen all but three. THREE! I have only seen two movies on that list. Only two! For god's sake, I am glad my dad has got himself a life after high school. Those movies are old by the way. All the movies on the list are really old. And Paul said that Interview with a vampire is old? Haha. That is a funny joke. The movies on that list are older! 

          Okay, enough with movies. Something funny today I went outside when I got home and I don't know why I did this but I did. I pushed a dead tree. I don't know why but something told me to push the dead tree. I pushed it back and forth with all of my weight and I got it to move. I thought that it was so cool. I also was doing math in my head. With how old that tree is plus the fact that it is dead. I think that the roots in a few mouths should be rotted enough to just be worthless to hold it up. So that means that I could just push the tree down. Of course, I have been told that if I do that not to do it towards the house. Well no duh! I knew that. I was pushing it away from the house and away from the fence. The tree, by the way, is close to the fence. Well I should go. I have to dishes to do.

        P.S. I am listening to my sister phone call while writing this. I know that this is going to sound like a one way story here but she just told my mother, "I need more alone time with you." She just begged that into the phone. If you could see my face you would think that I would feel something against her. I have nothing againest her. Nothing that I know of. But seriously? If she thinks that she needs MORE time with mom than she ovisly doesn't know how much more time with mom she has that I don't. I know I know I know. It sounds one sided. if you knew her she is a mommy's girl. I am a daddy's girl. I like my dad more than my mom even. He speands more time with me. But my mother also trys to speand more time with me. I have never found out why though. Well I think that covers what I wantd to say about that little converstion that I just over heard. So Bye Bye Bye Bye  Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye!!!!!!

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