High School Anxiety

My mind is different than yours and yours is different from the next but do we share how we all think about high school? Everything has been changed and everything is different.

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31. Gemma's high school Life

          Today had not been my day AT ALL. I hate it. In class, someone else and I feel like a third wheel. The only thing that is making it worst is that my sister gets to go somewhere that she doesn't want to go. She hates scary and I live and Breathe it all the time. All I want to do is go up there and take pictures and notes on the whole hotel. She is going to the Stanly Hotel in Colorado. Where we are right now is in Colorado. I hate that she gets to go and I have a reason to go. I love it and I don't get to go. 

          I am sorry if all I can do is talk about scary things and how bad the day has been and I haven't even finished it. It only has the day and I have already been treated like a third wheel in the music thing. And guess what makes the day even 'Better'? I have been pushed so far back that they took the song that I wanted to sing off the list. Only three people are getting the chance to show what skill they have. I hate it. I don't think that I can stand this much more. I really just want to go home and be in my time and place.

          My place being my Quiet room and alone writing. I need peace to write well. I mean most of the things I write are in a noise place. But now I want quiet and nothing else. All I can think of is being mad and being pushed to the back at things now. Not like I am showing it of course. I mean if I was to show it people would think that I feel more than I let on. My sister's friends are big pains in the butt. I don't care for them. But is my sister likes them I just hope that  I don't have to deal with them at home. That is MY place. I am so sorry if I sound a little possive but it is true. I don't want them there. If they go anywhere with my sister I don't want they where I have to sleep. 

          I feel like crying but I will not do that. I know better than to show people that. If they knew they would think something that I don't wan them to think about me. If they will think anything about me it is not going to b that I am sappy and sad all the time. I will keep hiding behind my fake smile and hope that everyone is as blind as I think that they are. There are two people here, myself included, that don't get the chance to do something that they want to do. The music teacher today walked up to me and told me that my song was cut. I minded in. I just didn't let him know it. I want to be happy while I am at school but it is hard with my sister here and her friends that act like they own the whole lot of it. Sorry my Harry Potter came out there. I mean the whole school.

          I hope that I don't sound like a sorry sap but I am just not in a good mood for the day. Today nothing good ahs gone right. Only the bad things have happened. For everyone but the other girl that I told you about has happened. But everyone needs to have a chance to get there moment. I don't care how I sound to you but I think that I might need to tell someone about this. I don't want to. I think that I will just keep it to myself but I feel like that would be a really bad idea. I ahve kept in way too much hate and angry. Well I have to go. Not like they would see my typing. They would probly hear me thought. I am for some reason typing really loud and to me that means that I am tapping the keys too hard and I could break them. So bye.

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