High School Anxiety

My mind is different than yours and yours is different from the next but do we share how we all think about high school? Everything has been changed and everything is different.

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55. Gabby's High School Life

          I only changed the name of this chapter because you already know my real name if you read the other chapter. So well with that said  My name was the only thing that I had not told you about from the start. If I would have been honest then you might have liked me more. But I don't care if you like me. Or if you like my life. I just couldn't care. The only thing that I care about is writing what I am feeling. I find that writing this makes me feel a lot better. If I write what I think about then I feel better about it. It's not on my chest and it is not even with me anymore. Once it is off of my chest then it is gone for me. Unless of course, it is just something that I hate. (Like those people I told you about in the last chapter.) 

          Well, yesterday I got my hair redyed. I like the color of it. I think that I am going to always want it this color. If anything I have never wanted red hair until now. If you cold see it you would probably think that it is my born color. But it is not. I have to redye this. Ummm. I think that was the most that I got done that day. I mean other than going through 'The Hunter's Work' for the 6th time. I just have to make sure that everything is the best that it can be. I feel really bad for this keyboard right now. It is pretty much taking a very big beating. I mean I am just hitting that keys too hard and too fast. 

          When I was writing in another book that I have I thought that it was the best thing in the world. I was supposed to be writing in first, person but I ended up writing in third, person. I had to go through the 10 paragraphs that I had written to check them and see if I had writing them in first or third person. I thought that was funny. I should really get back to work, but I can never find it in myself to like this class. The next class, however, I might like. I mean writing ALL day! Just think about it. I can see myself doing that class and being happy ALL day long. I know that I will enjoy it and love working and writing stories. I am going to be with my friend. 

          I got some of my book chapters done. I was talking to my teacher, not about work and all but just talking to him. He was saying that the best thing about being a writer is the fact that when you write you don't have to worry about this other world that we live in. But you let your mind wander and explore whatever it is that you want to. You can make your own worlds. I love that idea and I want to do as much of it as I can possibly do. 

          I am so very nervous today. I am doing a contest that ends today. My stomach and shaking hands and chattering teeth have made it very clear that I really like this contest and I have found something very important to me. I really like this. I am an adrenaline junkie. So I think that I am going to do much more contests because I love the feeling  that I am getting right now. I love the feeling of drowning with worry that I am not going to win. It is just the feeling that I have butterflies in my stomach. have you even had that feeling? The feeling that you're going to be jumping out of your skin and your just so scared that you can't even think at all? I feel as cold as Ice. I feel like I should be breathing steam. Well, I am really going to have to go. But I don't think that I will be getting much done anyway. I am a mess. I love the feelings but I hate the shaking part of it. I am getting hungry and it purely because of the worry.

          Well, I have to go. Sooooooo Bye Bye Bye  Bye Bye Bye 

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