Diary of Secrets

Calum thought soccer was everything.....until he read Sam's diary.


3. The First Rumor// September 1st

I'm looking at my phone screen, waiting for a reply of some kind. I had texted Sam during lunch, to ask her to meet up at our normal spot. There's been no reply though, so I assume she's still pissed at me. I'm about to head outside for soccer practice, when I open my messages again to type a new one.

'I'll be there after school. We need to talk Sam, if you don't show I'll just stop by your house. Somehow I don't think you want that.' after hitting send, I walk out onto the field. Watching as uniformed players, are kicking the familiar white ball across the grass.

Coach sends us into our warm ups, and we start running laps around the long field. After the third lap, my legs are on fire. My hamstrings are pulsating, matching pace with my heart. We head back to the field to get ready for the cones. While running through them, I notice coach watching me. I make sure to keep my legs straight, while kicking my knees up parallel to my chest. I hear a small laugh, before running along side the cones to the back. Looking for the owner of it, I notice Kevin looking back at me. Raising my eyebrow at him questioningly, he shakes his head before I hear him mutter under his breath

"Kiss ass." with a grunt as he continues forward. Shaking it off as jealousy, I push myself even harder to further irritate him.

Kevin and I have been dueling this petty battle out, since I joined. He's one of the better players, even ranked as MVP last year. But with his cocky attitude, coach still rides on him for not passing the ball. He believes the team couldn't survive without him, and that everyone on it are beneath him. With his lack of love for his team, coach often has to bench him before he gets the message. So since I make sure I work well with my team, and I'm just as good as he is I have become a target for his aggravated shoving.

With warm ups out of the way, I head to the center of the field. Taking my place as the teams wingback I run in place. Coach has us play a round, with me on home team and Kevin on the opposing. The whistle blows and we're moving fast as the white ball flies across the field. Running along the flank, I watch with my eyes. Focusing on the ball while keeping my peripheral vision, on the opposing team mates. My heart is racing as the heat from the sun, brings beads of sweat sliding down the side of my face. The ball makes it's way closer to the goal, and I chase after it. Before the opposing forward can kick it towards our goal, I intercept kicking the ball underneath with the tip of my shoe. Watching as it flies up and towards the direction of our play maker.

He sends it flying to our forward. Who kicks it towards the opposing net, and past the outstretched arms of their goalie. Allowing us to make our first goal as a team. With a smile on my face, I watch the goalie throw it back onto the field. The opposing play maker kicks it in the direction towards their forward. But our mid fielder blocks it, allowing the pass to be shot past us and toward me. Huffing I run over, and kick it repeatedly heading back towards the play maker. Kevin and another full back are on my tail, and I keep my eyes on the ball. Reverting every so often to my sides, to make sure I'm not tackled.

A wind blows through, creating a chill against my sweat dampened clothes. The coach is screaming from the side lines about teamwork and strategies. Kicking the ball up with my foot, I swing my knee underneath it hitting it once more. I jump hitting it with my head towards our forward. He uses the same method of transportation, to bring it over to the goalie. Their goalie is quick though, and darts off to the left grabbing the ball before it can hit the net.

He groans, before we're off again continuing another trek across the field. An hour passes and we're 4-3, Kevin glares at me as sweat slides down his face. I've managed to help get at least half of our goals, while he's had to sit on the bench and watch. With him back in the game, I know I have to be extra attentive to my sides. He wants to tackle me, and if I'm not careful he'll probably try to sneak a punch in there too. If we can get this last goal in, we'll win the game.

The temperature's dropped and these shorts aren't helping me keep warm. So I run continuously, to keep my muscles warm. The last thing I need is a Charlie horse. With the ball flying over my head, I watch as it hits the ground with a thud. Following after, I feel eyes on me as I kick it down the field. Quickly glancing over my shoulder, I see Kevin on my tail with a smirk. Looking back ahead, I notice another forward coming dead on. Shooting the ball swiftly to the left, I dart in that direction kicking it up once more. The ball is sent flying up as I hit it further with my knee and across the field with my head, before I'm slammed down by Kevin. My head makes harsh contact with the hard ground, and I'm punched fiercely in my shin.

Groaning from the impact, I curse under my breath before I hear the cheering. Knowing we won, I smirk at Kevin who's now standing. Fuming across the field, he shoves one of his team mates. Walking off inside the building with fists clenched at his sides. Slowly getting up, I wince as I try to bend the knee that was hit. Examining it closely, I now notice a welt on the side. Shaking my head, I carefully stand using my hands as often as possible. My team mates gather around me, sending loud congratulatory cheers my way. Before coach sends us to the locker rooms, and I have to limp most of the way.

Jared, the goalie from my team today, notices my struggle and asks

"What's wrong with your knee Cal? Did you over do it with that last kick?" I smile.

"No. I fell on it wrong, it should be fine when we come back next week." I answer as I stuff my locker contents into my gym bag. Closing the door, I look for Kevin but he's nowhere to be found.

"Put some ice on it when you get home. When I dinged my knee on the posts last year, I know that shed some weeks off at first." he replies changing into his clothes. Nodding in response I thank him and head out. After grabbing the contents from my locker and stuffing them into my book bag, I head outside.

Sitting inside my car, I reach for my phone. Looking through my new messages I find one from Sam. My heart leaps slightly, before I open it and read

'I can't stay long. But I'll be there.' sighing I head for Peep Toad Mill. I park at the nearby road, before getting out and limping over to the small trail that leads to the bridge. My jeans keep the cold in as the wind has picked up. Staring up at the orange and red in the changing leaves, I realize I haven't been here since I told Sam about soccer. Fallen leaves crunch beneath my feet, as I hug myself mentally cursing for not bringing a sweater. Seeing the familiar bridge ahead, I smile knowing I can sit soon.

My phone buzzes and I jump down from the bridge with it in my hand. Sitting against it, I open the new message

'Are you and Sam meeting up?' it's from Ash. He's been worried about her since he heard she cut, I answer

'Yeah, waiting for her now.' and place my phone back into my pocket. Hearing leaves being broken, I look around for Sam thinking it has to be her. The crunching increases in volume but I don't see anyone. Pushing myself up from the ground, I look around slowly for where the sound is coming from. Off in the distance, I see a figure coming closer. It's nothing but a black silhouette, but I know it's gotta be the cause of the enhanced crunching.

With the light purple sky above me and the distorted shadows the sun is making in the forest around me, I never realized how scary this place was by yourself. The wind creates a low whistling sound, as it flies through the leaves remaining on the trees around me. Looking behind me, I see the water from the pond ripple. Watching the small circles expand outward till they vanish completely, I momentarily forget about the figure. With dusk approaching swiftly, I notice a decrease in light in the sky above me. Slowly turning from light purple to a deep amethyst.

The wind stops and it's silent once more. That's when I notice the crunching of the leaves has stopped too. Before I can look behind me for the figure on the trail, I feel a hand on my shoulder. Quickly darting to my right and turning, I see it's Sam. Exhaling loudly, I groan before asking

"What the hell are you a cat?!" she jumps back before a small smirk plays on her lips.

"I scared you didn't I?" she asks letting a smile break through. I shake my head answering

"No! You just surprised me." she half laughs replying

"Is that what they call getting the shit scared out of you?" and sits against the bridge.

"Shut up!" I yell with a whining tone, limping over to join her at the bridge. We're giggling before hers stops momentarily and she's asking

"Why are you limping?" looking down at my knee.

Sighing softly I answer

"Kevin punched my knee during practice today. I'll be fine. Nothing some advil and rest won't fix." she shakes her head slowly, reaching over and placing her hand on my left knee. The warmth of her hand seeps through my jeans, onto my knee and eases the pain momentarily.

"You always did show off too much." she replies removing her hand. I grab it holding onto her fingers, attempting to slide her jacket sleeve up to reveal her wrist. Before she jerks her hand away,

"Don't." she says softly.

"Why won't you let me see? Is it because you know what you did was stupid?" I ask with thick irritation. Her eyes dart away from me, looking instead at the water below us.

"It's not stupid if it helps Cal." she replies so low I almost miss it over the wind blowing leaves around.

My fist clenches and I'm tempted to make her look at me. She can't seriously believe what she's doing is helping her, can she?

"Sam how can something that could potentially kill you, help you?" her words are small when she answers

"Because it helps me to see I'm not invisible. If I can feel pain that must mean I'm still visible. You can't hurt an invisible girl right?" my thoughts head over to Michael and the guys.

"Of course you aren't invisible! Why else would you have Ash, Michael and Luke as friends?" she shakes her head looking back at me.

"They aren't my friends Cal. They just hang around cause they feel sorry for me." groaning I reply

"Sam-" she cuts me off by standing.

"Where are you going? We're still talking." I ask as she starts walking away. Getting up requires some effort, but when I do she answers

"No. You're talking. I'm listening to someone, who still thinks they're friends with me." I grab her shoulder and pull so she faces me.

"Sam I am still your friend." my voice answers softly, with a broken smile she says

"No Cal. You aren't. Friends don't say they'll try to be there for you and never are. Friends don't leave their friends alone, when they need them. Friends also don't try to put them into a guilt trip, for something that makes them happy, after not speaking for three weeks!" she shouts with tears starting to spill over.

My hand reaches out to her, but she turns away walking back to the trail.

"Sam!" I call out to her but she doesn't stop, something tells me she won't either. Groaning in frustration, I sit back against the bridge. Pulling out my phone and texting Ash

'Failed attempt. She's heading home, I think I was the wrong person to do this.' before placing it back into my pocket. In doing this I notice a stone loose in the bridge. It's sticking out, so I grab the corner and pull. It falls onto the rocks with a clink before I look inside the hole where it used it be. I see nothing but darkness, so I grab my phone once more using the light feature.There inside is a black journal, sticking my hand in I pull it out placing my phone in my lap.

Opening the diary, I use my phone to read the words scribbled out onto the pages in black ink.

September 1st

There's a new rumor about me today. Apparently the only reason I cut is because, I finally realized my parents don't love me and since I have nothing but freaks for friends, what else do I have to live for? It's nice right? In a way there is some truth to it. So I have to give whoever started it props for being original. That oddly enough wasn't the reason, which caused me to cut more lines, into my skin tonight.

Today I asked for a friends help. As a friend should, you'd think they'd come to my aid right? Seeing as how today was really fucking shitty and all. But instead they chose to leave me here. Letting me wallow in my own self pity and overbearing thoughts. Sometimes I wonder if it's not just simpler to give up. Obviously they have right?

It's not always that simple though. Today welcomed four new scars that'll be enveloped on my wrists. One for the hurtful remarks I heard in school, another for my thoughts that agreed with them and two for the friend who shall continue to remain nameless. I've only got three other friends who I can count on. But one is almost always grounded, for getting suspended after kicking someone's ass in school. He does it to prevent rumors from starting, but it backfires on him. The other two are so shy themselves I can't burden them with my problems, because I don't want them to be stressed.

Today would've gone a whole lot different, if two weeks ago I would've gotten our last conversation in writing. Here's to hoping I can keep going without them. My broken heart tells me otherwise though.

Fuck. I have to help this person. They're starting to sound like Sam. Maybe it's not too late, maybe I can still help this person. They just need a friend right? Looking through the book for a name, leaves me clueless as nothing appears. Confusion rests on my face as only one thought passes through. How can I help someone when I have no idea who they are?

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...