Diary of Secrets

Calum thought soccer was everything.....until he read Sam's diary.


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29. Sparks Fly

The streets are dark and full of cars. They fly past us and onward to their destination. I watch in my rearview mirror as a semi comes toward us, fast, and swerves into the next lane still swerving. It does this till it turns onto one of the streets toward home. I follow after in another lane and keep myself wary of other drivers.


“You know I think Michael might have himself a girlfriend.” Sam says after a while. Risking it, I look over at her and she’s staring at me. I smile and return my gaze toward the road.

“Really? Do I know her?” I ask, thinking over who he could possibly be dating. Sam answers,

“No. Well you might. Do you remember at today‘s game? How he spilled a drink on this girl in the bleachers?” She asks, removing her hand from mine and placing it on my thigh. I bring my hand up to the steering wheel and nod.

“Yeah. She looked pissed as all hell. Are you telling me he hit it off with her?” I ask, astonished. Sam laughs and answers,

“No, her sister. The girl she came with.” I laugh and then smile, thankful Michael has someone to occupy his time with.


The conversation seems to drop again, but the silence is comfortable so we don’t immediately try to grab it back. I think back to the question my father asked me earlier tonight. ‘Is Sam…..you know……the one?’ and I start thinking about our relationship. I’ve had the same thoughts enter my head, I’m not going to be the one who ruins this relationship intentionally, and Sam doesn’t want this to end. So, maybe she is the one. I’ve tried to think of a life without her and can’t. I wonder if she’s thought about it.


While we wait for the light to turn, I steal a glance at Sam and see that she’s already staring at me.

“I love you, Calum.” She says before leaning over and kissing my cheek. I smile in response and hold her face close to mine so I can kiss her lips. That feeling rushes over everything again and it’s as though time froze, because everything feels brand new. She’s it.


I run my thumb along her cheek bone as we look at one another.

“I love you too, Sam.” I reply in a whisper as our lips meet again. Her hand stays on my thigh and before I can make my way down to her neck again, we hear the car horns blasting. I look up and see the familiar green light. With a groan I kiss her forehead before driving down the black top road.


“Should I drop you off at the bridge first? To write in your diary? Or do you just want to watch a movie?” I ask, deciding where to turn.

“No, home is good. I already wrote in my diary tonight.” She says with a smile in her voice. I smile at the thought and say,

“I guess I have some reading to catch up on.” Teasingly. She giggles in response, squeezing my thigh saying

“Or I could read it to you.” In a chirpy tone. Smiling I turn on the road that leads to home.


The dark sky above us is littered with stars.

“Where‘s Sam Thomas tonight?” I ask, knowing Sam would remember. She looks up through the car’s windshield and hums to herself.

“I think we‘re somewhere on main street.” She says, still searching the navy blue sky. I smile, turning away from home and onto the crossroads that’ll lead us to main street.


My hands are still glued to the steering wheel when Sam inches down my thigh. I breathe in deeply through my nose, she’s treading on dangerous ground. Then within the same movement she squeezes my thigh once more. She’s so close and her constant squeezing is going to set me off. How do I tell her to stop? Can I?


Reaching into my lap I grab onto her hand and hold tight. She tightens her grip on my hand and a soft sigh escapes her.

“I‘m trying to tell you I‘m ready Calum.” She says with a sigh. I stop in front of the light and watch as it turns from yellow to red.

“What‘re you talking about?” I ask, confused where this topic came from. Is she reading my mind?


“I know you‘ve been wanting to. As much as I pushed I‘ve wanted to as well. But I didn‘t want my first time with you to be because you were in the moment. You‘ve done it before Calum. I never have. So I needed to know you loved me. That was the only way I knew that even if I sucked at it, you‘d still come back to me.” She says, staring out the windshield. I drop our hands in my lap. That’s what she’s been worried about? That I would love her less because the sex was bad? Oh Sam.


Without warning I reach over and grab her face, kissing her once again. She’s hesitant at first but slowly leans into it before I’m sitting in my seat again. Her right hand lays on my cheek and I can feel her fingertips trail across my jaw line. The little bumps are here again. Smiling I break apart from her and stare at her small face. It’s red from the blush and I clutch her head, running the tips of my thumbs under her bottom lip. I stare at them for a moment, contemplating on stealing another kiss but decide against it.

I follow the roads and continue forward till I reach Echridge Avenue. Turning onto the road will lead me to an intersection of four roads. One of them will lead me to Main street where we can see our star again. Sam’s hand still clutches onto mine as I turn onto the curvy road. She smiles with the light blush fading on her cheeks.


As we stop at the light I look over at Sam and ask

“Sam? Could you see a life with me?” She looks at me puzzled.

“What do you mean, like marriage?” She asks, still clutching tightly to my hand. I nod in response and watch her eyes leave mine and focus on the road ahead.

“I‘m not saying tonight. But if by the time summer hits and we still feel this way. Will you?” I ask, hoping for some reassurance. Her green eyes find mine again and she bites her lip but nods in response. Reaching over I kiss her once more. Keeping it soft and sweet, making sure she’ll remember it and hoping through out, that she’ll remember this feeling months from now.


With my senior year starting next year she must realize that my leaving is coming closer. We’ve talked about the long trips back and forth and how we don’t care about the distance. There would be a lot of phone calls and letters made and she’s fine with all of it. Truthfully I wish she was coming with me but I know that soccer is about the only thing I am good at. Now it isn’t so much about leaving anymore, but finding my future. As it stands I see two things constant in mine. Sam and soccer.

She breaks our kiss and I start to drive forward. Still staring ahead I hear her scream my name, looking over to her I see her wide eyes and look beside me. I’m staring directly at the front of a massive semi. Before I can do anything it’s horn is blasting and the front end has made impact with my side.

Glass is everywhere and Sam’s screams fill the car, as the sound of the car tires squeal across the concrete. We’re pushed onto the right intersection until we hit the pole of the streetlight. The groan from the pole tells me that anymore added pressure to it could send it flying on top of us. There’s smoke coming from inside the semi and I wonder if it’ll ignite. The entire back end of the semi has crashed into the front of my car, pushing the dash forward. Would we be safe till help got here?


The semi seems to have stopped and we’re assessing our injuries.

“Sam! Are you alright?” I ask, groaning from the crunched metal in my side, careful to avoid the airbag that has deployed. She nods with watery eyes and I see the black lines begin streaming down her face.

“We‘re alright. Call for help.” I tell her, trying to reach for her hand. That’s when I realize my hand is caught between the seat and the clutch.

As Sam makes the call and explains our location I slowly bring my hand out of it’s hold. It takes everything out of me and in doing so it nearly rips half the skin off my hand. But I can still move it. Taking long, deep and shaky breaths through my nose I try to relax. I look at Sam and besides a small bump forming on the right side of her head, she looks okay.


Sam hangs up with the operator and looks me over.

“Oh god. Calum.” She says with a squeak. She’s crying again and more black streaks fall down her pretty cheeks.

“Calum, look at your legs.” She says with a pant. I look down at my lap and realize the steering wheel and the dash under it is directly atop it. Why didn’t I feel that? I try to move my legs and know that I can’t.


Her tears fall fast and the sobbing escapes her, killing me inside.

“Hey. Look at me. Sam. Look at me.” I say, grabbing her face.

“We‘re going to get through this. Okay? I haven‘t left you yet. Don‘t leave me.” I plead, bending as far as I can to reach her forehead. She meets me halfway and holds my hand with both of hers. The tears don’t stop though and I can’t help but think they won’t for a while.

Bright lights blind me momentarily and I squint to see that a small dark blue car, is riding on the street we’re trapped on. The woman driving is too focused on her phone screen to see the accident in front of her. Releasing Sam I hit the center of the steering wheel only to find it doesn’t work. Repercussions of the accident must’ve left it in this state. Taking a deep breath I look at Sam again.


“Sam. I need you to get out of your seat. Now.” I say in the calmest voice I can muster. She looks at me confused.

“Now!” I say with more force, without question she does as told and slides her legs over to sit on the small area by the clutch. Grabbing hold of her I grip tightly and wait for the impact. Just as Sam looks over behind her, the woman realizes we’re here. Her car smashes into the front end of ours and her squealing tires sound like agonized screams.

The impact sends Sam’s airbag bursting out and the light pole to come crashing down. The pole slams down on top of my car and the dented metal it creates on my roof, hits Sam on the head. I watch her fall forward and onto my seat, I grab hold of her and hope the ambulance gets here soon. I call out to her but she doesn’t reply, she can’t leave me yet.

Moans from the woman in the other car make their way inside my windowless car. She grabs her head and looks herself over, dabbing at the small cut on her head. It’s started to bleed and I scream at her to call 911 but she can’t seem to hear me. I watch her walk out of the car and grab her phone from the floor. She makes it to the sidewalk before dropping and there’s a scuffling sound as her face meets pavement.

I try to grab my phone or search for Sam’s but come up with nothing. Tonight can’t end like this, we have to continue from today I need that for the both of us. Resting Sam atop the airbag from the steering wheel, I hear a faint ping and reach for her phone on the seat. It hurts to move with the door still wedged into my side. I try to relocate myself as best I can, but to no avail.

As I stare at Sam’s seat I notice her side is completely smashed in like mine. If she had stayed there she would’ve been just as stuck as I am. The glass from her car window is spread out all over her seat and the dash. A large shard sticks out of the bottom seat. That could’ve been in Sam’s leg.


There’s hairline scratches along her cheek from the flying glass. Her hair is scattered all over the place from the constant tossing around. I move a stray hair out of her face and kiss the marks on her cheek.

“Hang in there Sam. We‘ll get there. Just survive.” I whisper into her hair. The aroma of apple cinnamon still lingers in it and for a moment it relaxes me.


A faint hissing sound appears and as I try to locate where it’s coming from, I see the front engine of the semi spark. Shit. With it ignites a small fire and now the entire front end of the truck, is being engulfed in the orange flames. I watch as the flames travel from the engine to the windshield and crack the glass. The clink of it before the shattering pieces burst everywhere.

Using everything I have I stretch myself out to grab the large shard of glass. It cuts into my hand and I can feel the warm blood ooze out and drip from my hand. I cut away at my seatbelt and watch the fabric fly back into the slot. Dropping the shard out my window I grab Sam’s sides and lift her to the best of my ability. I watch her slide into her seat again and try to get her legs to her side as well.

The heat starts accumulating in my car and I know my time is running out. Pushing her knees down by the dash I finally get her to where I want her. I push myself up and try to free myself from the steering wheel that pins me in place. In the distance I can hear sirens and I pray they get here in time as the fire spreads rapidly. My seat feels as though it’s burning a hole in my pants.

Neighbors have started coming out of their homes to assess where all the noise is coming from. I watch as they run out in their yards and try to look in the cars. Stuff like this doesn’t happen in small towns like ours. Accidents don’t happen often, murders are unheard of. That happens to people in the major cities not people like us. Not small towns where everyone knows everyone.

I watch the ambulance arrive and the firefighters spring into action. Police patrol around asking questions and sending people away from the wide scene. Using the jaws of life I lay there and watch them cut away the passenger door to get to Sam. It falls to the ground with a loud bang. They try to talk to me but I can feel the heat from the fire drain whatever energy I had left.

Flashlights blare inside my car and the fireman responsible for it is screaming something to the others. Is it about my legs? I can’t move them. I’m sorry. Sam is carried off to a stretcher and I watch her arm fall off to the side. It hangs there as the emergency technicians start up the heart machine. I don’t care what happens to me. So long as Sam makes it.

I see the fire beside me slowly fizzle out as they spray it with a hose. The cold water hits my face just before my eyes close and everything turns to darkness.

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