Finding Home

Ronon has to decide where his home truly lies - with a blue-eyed doctor or a village claiming to be his people.


23. 23

The heavens of Atlantis were a spectacular wonder to behold on any given night to be sure, but it seemed that tonight was extra special though. For when the sun slowly started its ritual descent below the horizon; pulling the dark velvet mantle of night down along with it, every celestial body seemed to battle for attention - all eager to be seen. Activity was abundant in the skies this night.

The stars above gleamed with brilliance, like little tiny shards of diamonds, rubies and sapphires that had been haphazardly scattered throughout the sky. Millions of them winking down to whoever admired them from below.

A lone comet slowly trekked across the infinite expanse of the skies with its long feathery tail of gases and dust leaving a fiery streak in its wake. Several meteors zipped past the mighty comet at speeds that far exceeded its own. While still others seemed to tag along with the great blazing rock as to keep it company. Somehow they all seemed to know which invisible path to follow to get to their specific destinations.

The twin moons of Atlantis also garnered attention this night. They both shown full and bright in the nighttime sky; illuminating the great silver city of Atlantis below in all her glory.

The calm sea beneath the sparkling heavens was like a mirror; reflecting back the beauty from above. It was nearly impossible to tell where the darkness of the heavens ended and where the dark ocean waters began.

Reflections of the city and twin moons shimmered hypnotically upon the ocean's surface; distorted by the sway of the water.

However, all this grand beauty was lost on the sole individual that quietly stood at the end of the east pier. Absently listening to the serene sound of the sea as it gently splashed along the base of the city's pillars, the rhythm of the small waves almost lulled Dr. Keller into a sense of comfort and peace.


Looking up towards the stars; up towards the many planets unseen from where she stood, Jennifer wondered where Ronon could be. On which distant planet he was on. She wondered if he was alive or injured or possibly captured or - even worse - dead. She wondered if he was, at this very minute, trying to contact Atlantis for help or to say good-bye.

Lifting her hand up to her left ear, Jennifer double checked that she was wearing her radio. If a distress call of his were to come in requesting help, she would be the first one at the gate all packed and ready to go. She had prepared medical bags and they were at-the-ready; stocked full with the necessary meds and equipment needed for any type of emergency. She had made sure of that weeks ago. Jennifer now just waited patiently for his call. No matter either call, she would be there for him.

She waited for some sort of sign. Some sort of indication that he was coming back to her. But nearly a month later, the call never came. She began to accept, as time slowly dragged on, that there wasn't going to be any word from him. That the possibility of him returning was never going to happen. He was never returning to Atlantis or back to her. She had to accept that. Because Jennifer may not know which planet he was on; she knew, however, where he had gone.

Ronon had went in search of his people.

With all of the ramblings and doubts skittering through her thoughts, she was certain of that fact anyway. And obtaining that golden piece of information cost her dearly. Not money or the like, but more along the lines of her newly acquired self-esteem.

A couple of days after he had left, Jennifer started asking Colonel Shepperd when would Ronon return. His reply was always, "Soon."

After nearly a week and no Ronon, she had had enough of 'soon'. Jennifer became more demanding - which was out of character for her, but dammit she wanted answers. She hounded the Colonel for answers constantly. She needed information on where Ronon was and when he'd be back. She even at one point begged him to tell her. To tell her anything at all concerning the man she was in love with.

However, she had to give it to John, the man preformed his duties as military commander quite well. He refused - nicely of course - to tell her a single thing. Even when she threatened to halt all further expeditions - to ground all gate travel - for medical reasons. John called her bluff on the threat and did not budge. No information was forthcoming and, of course, gate travel continued uninterrupted.

She decided then to go straight to Elizabeth. If Jennifer couldn't get answers being professional, then maybe woman-to-woman would work better. Elizabeth wasn't talking either. However, that was until the tears started to fall. Tears Jennifer couldn't hold back any longer.

Dr. Keller pleaded and begged for any news about Ronon. She admitted to Elizabeth that her heart was breaking.

Dr. Weir finally broke down and told her that there had been some intel in regards to Satedan survivors. At Jennifer's question of why hadn't she'd been told. Elizabeth stated that it was Ronon's wish that no one, except the Colonel and herself, know anything about the secret mission he was on.

No one.

Ronon had gone in search of his people; entrusting only two people with such life altering information - John and Elizabeth.


Not a single word to her. Apparently he didn't trust her as much.

She looked out over the dark waters, and wiped away a tear that started to travel down her flushed cheek.

She was happy for him that he had a chance to find others from his own planet. His own people.

If, in fact, Ronon found his own kind, Jennifer wondered who he would find. Her thoughts ran wild. She was more than positive that he would meet a woman. A Satedan woman. A beautiful Satedan woman who he would hold in his arms, kiss her passionately, and whisper endearments to just as he had done with her not so long ago.

Jennifer tightened her grip on the railing at the thought of another woman taking her place. To be his new girlfriend. His new love of his life.

She snorted unladylike. Who was she kidding? She never was really his girlfriend per se. They just hung out together and it all had been fun while it lasted. Thank gawd she hadn't thrown herself at him; hadn't jumped immediately into bed with the man. Not to say that on several occasions she hadn't been tempted. But she just wasn't ready yet.

Frowning a bit Jennifer wondered if that was why he left the way he did - to find another woman to settle down with. Whom better than someone from his own world - his own culture - to start a family with.

Laughing softly to herself, she thought What a joke! I am as much an alien to him as he is to me. We would had never worked out.

Jennifer felt like she had been punched in the gut. Her whole being - heart, soul, mind and body - was numb. Numb to all the natural splendor surrounding her. Numb to the inevitable - that she was alone, but this time not by choice.

Her thoughts roamed aimlessly but always came back to one certain focus as they always did ever since that night he'd left. Her thoughts were always of him - of her Ronon.

Even though at this very moment he was probably with another, she missed his touch and the sweet love that she quickly grew to recognize in his green eyes - or thought she had recognized.

Looking back up at the heavens, she closed her eyes and pretended that his hands gently caressed her body and his fingers tangled through her unbound hair. She pretended it was him and not the cool ocean breeze touching her in such a loving manner. After a few moments, Jennifer reluctantly returned to reality.

Sighing, she wiped another tear from her cheek. She stood quietly; her hands relaxed now on the railing. This had once been her favorite place because of him, but now it was a sad reminder of what once was. Even though she felt that it was over, her heart still ached for him and her soul wept.

She had thought things would be different with Ronon. He had been so different than Brian. Brian manipulated her to the point of where she all but lost who she was as a person.

Ronon was suppose to have been different. She had been so sure that what they felt for each other was something special. His touch had sent tiny sensual electric shocks throughout her body. And when he would looked at her with those beautiful green eyes of his, her heart would race and the butterflies in her stomach would go completely wild. The look of love she thought she had seen in his handsome face made her feel safe.

A long ago thought came crashing into her. She once had told him a handsome face to hide the ugliness inside. Jennifer so thought she had been wrong, but...? She didn't know anymore. She was empty inside. Empty save for the spark of love that still resided deep within her. A spark that she would guard forever no matter the outcome. A spark that she'd hope would come back to life.

It was well into the night when Jennifer decided to go back to her quarters. She was tired of thinking and wondering about things she had no control over. She had waited long enough. Ronon wasn't coming.

Like every night since he'd left, she had waited for him at the east pier. It was their spot. Their favorite spot, but now it was just a sad reminder of what once was.

Jennifer shivered. She hadn't realized how cold it had gotten. She was dressed in her civilian clothes - an old faded pair of jeans and a t-shirt. She hadn't bothered putting on her shoes so her bare feet were now nearly frozen.

Sighing, she turned to leave and immediately ran into a wall of muscle. Strong arms quickly grabbed hold of her as she nearly lost her balance. In turn, Jennifer reached out to catch herself from tumbling backwards and secured hold of some rather muscular arms.

"Are you alright?" a low rumbling voice inquired.

Looking up into a familiar face, Jennifer blurted out, "Kyle?! What are you doing out here at this hour?"

"Looking for you, Doc."

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