Bad Reputation || Louis Tomlinson AU

Bad Vibes Sequel || Cover by TRXYE ||
In which Lizi goes on a painstaking and long journey to discover her new and old self with the help of a stranger, Louis, that knows more about her than she ever will. || I felt so clueless that it made me feel like I was being held underwater, breathing normally and with every breath I took, water filled my lungs, making me confused as to whether or not I was dying. And Louis was the hand that pulled me out of the water, providing me with air and clarity, telling me I was okay and I was not alone.

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“No way!” Louis protested but I wasn’t about to give up. I just couldn’t stay here, and I was going to do anything to make sure I don’t.

“Louis, please! I… I know this is hard for you, and I know we had a past, and I know I can’t remember it. I know that it kills you to see me so clueless, but please, I cannot stay here… not after Kara…” I was about to continue but my voice cracked because I felt so clueless that it made me feel like I was being held underwater, breathing normally and with every breath I took, water filled my lungs, making me confused as to whether or not I was dying. And Louis was the hand that pulled me out of the water, providing me with air and clarity, telling me that I was okay and I was not alone.

“Louis... I don’t know what to do… I don’t know who I am… I don’t know who anyone around me is… and you’re the one who knows me best in this situation and if I’m not around you… I’ll just feel so helpless. Please understand that I don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to figure this out on my own. Please.” I begged him, tears thinning out my voice and blurring my vision. I didn’t bother stopping them as they trailed down my face and I certainly did not stop Louis as he stepped towards me and full on kissed me.  His slender fingers grasped my chin; angling my head towards his as his other arm pulled me closer. My fingers clawed at him, trying to grasp all of him at once, not wanting to let go. And much too soon for my liking, he pulled away but he rested his forehead against mine. Little did I know it was a metaphor for our relationship; I was the one who always grasped onto him, growing emotionally dependent on him, and he let me, until he pulls away, disappearing and leaving me high and dry.

“I’ll stay with you, and I will get you through this.” He said, his eyes gentle but there was something else in them too. Not exactly an emotion but… expectancy. The realization hit me too hard and too fast.

“You… you…” I couldn’t even say it, that’s how horrified I was.

“Did it work though?” he asked, his voice soft and I thrust myself away from him, stumbling over my own legs but my hands shot out, grasping the railing of the stairs just in time.

No. I have long term amnesia Louis, a simple kiss won’t make everything come back.” I told him, my eyes desperate. “No matter how much I want it to.” I added and I felt my energy leave me and my hands relaxed, the lack of grip caused my hands to slip from the railing and I was too tired to care if I was about to fall on the stairs.  Louis caught me just in time and pulled me onto my feet, immediately hugging me.

“I’m so sorry. I just…. I had to try.” He mumbled into my neck and sniffling, I nodded in understanding.

“I appreciate it.” I mumbled into his shoulder, the cotton fabric muffling my voice.

**

Thirty minutes later, I was buckling my seatbelt in Louis’ Range Rover as he packed all of my suitcases and bags full of clothing along with a few boxes filled with pictures and makeup and whatnot into the trunk. I pulled open the car mirror and applied lip balm onto my dry lips. When I was done, I put the balm away but left the mirror open. When I looked up, I caught sight of the small yet visible scars on the side of my face. I stared at them, hoping that if I looked at them they’d bring me back my memories but the frustrated tears proved other wise. No one would tell me what exactly happened that night and it made me furious as I had physical proof that the night happened yet my mind had no memory of it.

When I heard Louis’ door open, I quickly shut the mirror and wiped away the tears.

“Is that everything?” I asked, my voice surprisingly level.

“Yup.” Was all he said before he thrust the key into the ignition and we were speeding away.

**

“Wow.” Was all I said as Louis opened the door to his apartment in the Bronx side of New York. I wandered into the apartment as Louis brought in the bags, taking in the modern interior.

“Do you like it?” He asked, a little breathless as my bags were, after all, quite heavy. His fault though, as I offered to help him.

“I love it…” I trialed off as I stood in front of the window, looking down at the tiny people on the street.

“But?”

“But it’s so clean. I mean, after all, this is a bachelor pad, and, of course, it belongs to a guy. Why is it so clean?” I pressed and he huffed out a laugh as he shut the door, the last bag finally in.

“Whatever. Believe what you want to believe but surprisingly, some of us guys can be clean. Sometimes.” He stated and I laughed.

“Thank god I’m moving in.” I murmured causing him to bark out a laugh.

“Yeah, thank god, now come on. I’ll show you around.” He said and without waiting for my reply, he took my hand and was pulling me away from the window. 

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