My walk in the rain

A girl from a troubled home wants to find a way to escape. Being the person that she is she is very shy and doesn't want to communicate with people . She is silent in school which makes her the eyes and ears , she know everything about everyone , or at least she thought she did. A boy she thought she knew everything about takes her on a new journey and changes the way she views society .

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2. september rain

The rain in this town is very short and light but its rain and that's all I care about . Waking up to it , walking in it , reading to it … anything to take the pain away .  The silver drops melt my pain away and i am finally able to think for once .

  “Get your ass up now !” my mother's raspy voice broke my sleep as she burst through my room and tossed my backpack onto my bed . I slowly rose out of my bed and rubbed my eyes . I gazed over at the calendar and realized  it was the first day junior year . I looked at my clock and rolled my eyes … late like always .  Sighing, I tossed my covers off of me and got dressed in a green sweater and black jeans , tieing my black hair into a low ponytail . I started to hear my mom's heavy footsteps come up the stairs again .

“I'm up !” I yelled from my room as I grabbed my dance clothes and shoes from my closet. My moms footsteps went the other direction as I walked out with my bags in hand. Morning like this were just a typical part of my life . Making my way down the stairs my mom is sitting in her chair with a bottle of liquor in one hand and a coffee cup in the other. I guess  i'm walking today . I walk over and kissed her on the forehead before she shooed me away.  I slipped out the front door and began the walk , taking a shortcut through the small park across from our house . The small patting of the rain drops on the leaves made me smile for a split second . The thing I guess I like most about rain is that everything is quiet for once , you can only hear the sound of the rain . Nothing but the salty smell of the drops hitting the concrete and grass . No one is out in the rain so you don't hear their conversations or their complaints about the weather. The only noise I love to hear that isn't rain is the sound of my shoes slapping on the ground and in the puddles . The sky is a perfect shade of grey with silver and charcoal clouds lining it. The school began coming into view and the smiling and happy feeling faded away because I knew what was coming for me when I reached it . I pulled out my schedule and went to the gym for my first class.  

    The halls were mostly empty as people went to their classes but were full of past memories . Memories of first kisses , being stuffed in a locker , new years eve parties , and when our football team finally won their first game. My personal favorite was when one of the jocks, Todd ,  got a mug of hot tea poured on him when he pinched Sally on the ass . For the first time I saw a man cry... hysterically . I laughed to myself as I turned the corner in the long hallway but I suddenly stopped . At the end of the hallway , right outside the gymnasium door was one of the people I despised  the most , Hadlee Cane , the fakest girl I have ever met in life. She was one of the reasons I shut myself out, one of the reasons I stopped trying to fit in  .

 “Laura ? Didn't expect you to be here , I thought you would have been dead or in a crack house like your mom by now .  ”  Hadlee snickered as she walked into  the gym. I just rolled my eyes and undid my hair , I knew it wasn't worth it . It would only make things worse and I was trying to have a decent first day for once.

  Walking into the gym the whole class got quiet , all eyes were on me like I did something horrible. The bleachers filled with silent faces and judgemental eyes . The gym teacher was looking at her chart before she realized that the whole class was quiet. As I walked over to her she turned around and gave a slight smile towards me .

  “ Name ? ” The small framed lady smiled and looked at her board waiting for my name .

” Laura Alexander. ” I whispered then cleared my throat as she nodded her head and pointed to the bleachers. I slowly walked over and sat in the last row where no one was sitting.

  ” Alright now that everyone is here we can begin the first day . I want all of you to get into pairs of two and introduce yourself . Say things like where are you from , what you like , what you don't like . I'll give you ten minutes and then the rest of the period we will be watching a video on what you will be doing  for the next year. ” with those ending words my body tensed up and I turned around . Looking up at the bleachers I saw students scramble for their best friend or crushes , all the people they already knew . They started to talk about their summers and what they did , all the parties , boos and girls they banged or drank . I just sat there clutching my stuff , staring at the ground.

   ” Can she be any weirder ?  ”

” It's like she has a disease or something , she never talks to anyone . She is a freak, a nobody just don't worry about her . Her mother and father probably did a lot of drugs so she could be retarded .  ”  Hadlee's voice ringed in my ears. Her and her friends started to laugh until I heard a slam on the metal seat .

  ” Would you shut you big hole you call a mouth Hadlee ! Stop making fun of people you know nothing about.  ”

” Nathan where are you going? ”

The sound of shoes hitting the steps was all that could be heard because the whole class sat in silence. I couldn't believe what he said , he wasn't the type of person to stand up to anyone. He was the one who stood next to them and just watched them make fun of me . Sometimes he would say these things and i knew  he meant them , but why is he now standing up for me ?

   ” Don't worry about them they'll find anyone to talk about , my name is Nathan Maxwell by the way .  ” He came and plopped himself right next to me , putting his hand out for me to shake it. I didn't know what to do , i just looked at him with a blank stare . He finally put his hand down and stared back at me .

   ” Are you going to say anything ? ” he slowly began to ask , ”  No…. okay then . I guess I'll just tell you about myself. I am from here in Modesto . I like the color blue and action novels . I don't like bacon or rainy days . ”   

   Hes about as deep as a kitty pool . I just sighed and looked straight ahead , not saying a word although I could say a few . Nathan was a typical looking guy , with chocolate brown hair and green eyes. He was fit but not too fit , and tall, really really tall. I was a little over three - fourths his size.

   ”  Come on a least say something ;just answer the questions and I won't say anything more. ”

 ” Ugh , fine . My name is Laura Alexander , I'm from Modesto . I like rainy days and ballet. I don't like the people here or people in general. There …. are you happy now ?  ”

   ”  Very actually , see that wasn't so bad ,was it ? So , you like rain and ballet ? Do you dance at all ?  ”

” You said you weren't going to say anything else . Why are you still talking ? ”

 ”  Well you see it wasn't a promise so I can say anything I want . You should have made promise. And you kinda asked me a question so I had to answer it. Also I technically asked you something I didn't say anything. ”

  ” Smartass , yes I dance and yes I like the rain. Now stop talking. ”

” Yes ma'am. ” Nathan threw his hands up and rolled his eyes. The pe teacher came back to the bleachers and started the video. I didn't pay any real attention to it because I would eventually learn it later on in the year. I just played with my fingers , poking holes in my already ripped jeans. Picking at the seem and frays, pulling on them and poking them . I began to watch Nathan out of the corner of my eye. He was watching me . Every so often he would peer up at the screen for a minute and then stare right back at me. I found it odd that someone as weird and quiet as me would seem so interesting to a guy like him . We were on different spectrums of the personality chart and yet he continued to stare at me . Something was wrong with this and yet I didn't want to do anything about it . I scooted away from him and shuffled my stuff a little just to make sure I knew I was getting comfortable with him  . I tried to clear up the awkwardness i was feeling with him sitting so close to me . It was like a ice cold blanket wrapped around a hot body , slowly shocking you with the cold as you breathe. I felt like a ticking time bomb , class was not ending soon enough.

   ” Class pack up but stay in your seats. Lockers and locks will be assigned tomorrow. ” Finally! I grab my stuff and clutch in my small hands. I see Nathan do the same but he doesn't go up to his friends , he just sticks around.

   The bell rings and all of the students pour out of the gym and go to their next classes. Since I was late this morning I had to put my stuff in my locker . As I'm walking to my locker I see Hadlee walking my way . Her eyes sharp and only on me. She began to purse her lips together like she always does when she's about to warn somebody . I just simply look at her and began putting in my combination.  As she got closer I clenched my fist by my side .

   ” Laura let's get something straight ,okay ? Nathan was only trying to be nice to you because he felt sorry for you . Face it , you are a freak who barely speaks , what would he seen in you ? He is mine and there's nothing you can do about it . Stay away from him if you know what's good for you… and I meant it .”

  All I could do was glare at her , I didn't care what she had to say about it because I knew she was right. Nobody likes me because of how weird I seem , but they don't know that they're the reason I am the way I am . As the students started to dissipate from the halls I hear Nathan's voice from across the hall .  

   ” Hey uh Laura are you doing anything at lunch? ” He deep voice cuts through the crowd of chatter. I looked over at him and as I do my eyes are met by Hadlee's. Her cold hard glare told me to lie and tell him I wasn't free.

 ” I'm actually going to busy with a new dance , sorry .”

” Oh , well what about after school ? Are you free then ?”

” I actually have a job I have to get to after school …. maybe some other time , I'm sorry . ” I left Nathan standing there , with my cold hard words. For the first time in my life I had a guy asking me to hang out with him on two separate occasions and I had to say no. Walking down the halls to my class I felt even sadder than I did when I got to school . I shook my head , I cant be getting feels for a guy who will probably break my heart.. or at least what's left of it . I knew I had to stone cold and keep these barriers strong and high so that nobody can break in. Who was I kidding , thinking that a guy like him would actually want to hangout with me just to hangout with me . He probably did feel sorry for me. I had to keep believing that this world was so cold and heartless . I will never again allow myself to slip up like that again, too many heartaches in such a short about of time.    

                        ~

 At lunch I didn't bother going to the cafeteria simply because Nathan was there and I wasn't hungry . I would eat at home anyway. I took my dance bag out of my locker and began walking to the abandoned dance room in the east wing. Last year, Principal Blackmill , decided that it was time for an upgrade in the dance department. On the west side of the school he got contractors to build a huge dance studio for the dance students .  In private I asked him to keep the old one intact so that I could use it up until my senior year.  No one goes to the east side dance room , which is why I go there to dance , so that no one can see me . As I walk down the ramp to the east side I hummed to myself . I do a lot of things in private because If I show everyone who I really am , I won't be as strong and distant as I want. My dark past will come up and I don't want that to happen … It would scare people , including myself. I turned the corner and opened the door to the old dance room , flicking on the lights. The room was small , but I still had enough room to do my tour en l'air. A small stereo sat in the corner of the room. I opened my bag and pulled out a stack of cassette tapes ,placing one in the stereo. I quickly changed into my leotard and tutu . Tieing my pointe shoes I turned on the stereo and began my first position for the song of the Sugarplum princess.

    Dancing gave me such a sense of freedom , like a bird flying through the sky. The spins, the pirouettes   all made me feel so alive in this tiny room . The music moved me in a graceful and peaceful manner . My arms and hands felt so free, my legs felt like walking on stilts in the middle of a lake. One hour wasn't long enough when it came dancing . If I could I would dance forever , but sadly my body just wasn't cut out for it .  

  Suddenly I heard a giant thud come from outside the room. I turned my head and someone silhouette duck and run away. I quickly turned off the music and marched outside to see who it was. Nathan was leaned up against the wall across from the room, he tried to look nonchalant but I could see a smirk curving on his lips.

 ” What are you doing here?”I demanded as I crossed my arms. Nathan lurched up off the wall and sighed . He casually walked over making sure no one was there to see him , then he hurried over to me. He got so close I could feel his breath on my face .

  ” I came to see you ! ” Nathan put his hands in his pockets. I glared up at him , still having my arms crossed.

  ” Well you saw me , now will you go away please ?”

” Why ? You didn't want me to see you dance or something , because if so I already saw you .” He chuckled under his breath as I ducked my head down and blushed.

” Can you please just go away .” I began walking back into the dance room and putting the cassette tapes in my bag. He followed me in and just stood there with a smug little smirk on his face.

 ” No , I'm not going to leave . You dance beautifully by the way , have you always been a dancer?”

   ” Please just leave me alone okay ? Thank you for the compliment but i really wish you would leave.”

  ” Why do you want me to leave you alone ? You don't like me around or something?”

” Because If I get caught talking to you Hadlee will be at my throat and I don't want that , plus I have to get changed.”I stared at him for a second , looking at his expression before I closed the door on him and got dressed. Why does he not listen to me ? He won't go away unless he wants to , what is his deal?

     I opened the door and jumped back when Nathan was still in the same place I left him . His expression was confused and angry at the same time . He just stood there and I didn't know what to do. I was scared on what he was going to say or do , that look was way too familiar to me and I didn't like it .

  ” Hadlee threatened you ?” Nathan mumbled. I nodded stepping back a little into the room. Nathan noticed and soften his expression a little .

” Yes she threatens me all the time , it's not a big deal really. I'm used to it by now I just listen to what she says and we don't have a problem. The problem right now you and I really don't want to hear from the bitch because I'm talking to her man. I should have known better to talk to anyone.”

   ” No ! Don't say that . First of I am no one's man and second no one can make you do something you don't want to do. D-do  you want to hang out with me or not, and don't say no because of Hadlee . I assure there is nothing nor will there be anything between us anymore. So, Do you actually want to hangout with , just as friends?”

  ” I can't even if I wanted to!I let out a sigh . The lunch bell rings and it's time to go to my next class . I pick up my bag , slamming my hands on my thigh  in exasperation. Before I turn the corner and walk up the ramp I look back at Nathan . I'm sorry I say to myself and walk to my next class.

    As I sit  alone in science class I feel something strange inside me . It's like an emptiness mixed with sadness , pang of it slowly reaching every inch of my body . Hunched over my science book and a sheet of paper , I just sat there doing nothing the whole period. For the first time in my life I had someone on my mind rather than homework .

Alright students if you haven't finished the work its homework , it will be due tomorrow . ” Mr. Westphal closed his book and sat back in his chair. It was the last period of the day and everyone was packing up their books and supplies. I did the same and as the class lined up by the door I stood behind.

Right as the bell rang students upon students poured out of their classes running to their lockers . All of them itching to get out of the school, out into the free cold world. I walked to my locker , unlocked it and grabbed my stuff all except my dance bag. Slowly making my way through the crowd I spot Nathan . He is talking to a couple of his friends until Hadlee comes over . She is trying to hold him and talking to him until he rips himself away from her and screams in her face. I quickly walked to the school's exit and out to the outside. I didn't have time to lollygag I made my way to the short cut . Fast walking through the park not even paying attention to the scenery of after the rainfall.

As I get to my front door I see a small ripped piece of paper tucked into the door jam . I take it out and walk into the house.

I'm going to work today , be in bed by 8:00 with all of your chores and homework done or else! Heat the leftovers for dinner.

                                                        Mom

I crumbled up the scratchy handwritten paper through it in the trash bin. I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge , it wreaked of food gone bad. I took the trash bin and threw all of the leftovers into it . I washed the dishes and the counters along with every piece of furniture in the house . I finished my homework and all of my chores. My stomach began to growl and I looked at the time , 6:30. I knew I kept a hundred dollar bill underneath my mattress in case of emergencies. It took a little hard thinking before I picked up the house and dialed a pizza place .

After eating a whole pizza , destroying the evidence I finally went up to my room and sat at the edge of my bed. Today began a lot different than I expected  but ended pretty horrible. I could have made my first friend today but because of my walls and fears I declined it .  Feelings in the pit of my stomach grew . What was this new feeling , was it a crush I was getting for Nathan. I don't know but I threw myself back on my bed and slowly fell asleep with this new almost warm feeling . Hoping the next day would be better but still the same .   

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