Lean On Me - Sequel to Proud To Be

In Athena Black's sixth year, she faces so much more things since previous years. With her father an escaped convict of Azkaban, and her godfather a werewolf, it brings much more trouble than you'd think. So when things start to get rough, her long time best friend and boyfriend, Fred Weasley, is more than willing to be there, so she can lean on him if in need.

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10. 9

Athena's POV

Christmas day was great. Remus arrive shortly after we woke up and it seemed like forever since I saw him. We were all sitting around and talking to each other, like a family. And I loved that. To know I had a family, away from my family. We had about three days left of our holidays, so we were trying to make the best of it.

"Athena?"

"What?" I asked, looking at Remus.

"You alright?"

"Great, just thinking." I smiled.

"About?"

"How grateful I am for all of you guys," I said shyly. "I mean-" I stopped by a terrible pain tearing through my abdomen. I clutched my side and Fred's hand, probably tighter than I've ever had and drew in a sharp breath.

"Athena? Oh my, are you okay!?" Mrs. Weasley asked, at my side within seconds.

"My-" I began to tell her what was wrong when another searing pain came out of nowhere.

"Mum, what's wrong with her?" I heard Fred ask, and I just held on to him tighter. I saw Remus, white faced and scared from across the room, and I couldn't help it, because I know exactly what was wrong. I started to cry. It wasn't really sobbing, or hardcore crying. It was just the silent tears running down my face.

"Athena? Please, tell me what's wrong," Fred begged, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him. So I did the next best thing and leaned forward, and told Mrs. Weasley, so only she could hear.

"I'm not gonna have a baby anymore." I whispered, letting go of Fred's hand and rubbing my stomach gently.

"Athena I'm sure-"

"She's gone." I said, loud enough. No, I didn't know for sure it was a girl. But I always imagined myself having a baby girl.

"You can't be sure-" Molly started

"She was moving, now she's not." I said, emotionless.

"Hospital." Fred said immediately, standing up and helping me up.

***

"It's common in first pregnancies, you can't blame yourself." Remus tried, but I ignored him. No netter how common it was, I still lost my baby. We lost our baby, I should say. "Athena, I know you're upset-"

"Upset. Upset? I just lost my kid, upset isn't even the start of it." I spat.

"It's okay Athena." Fred said quietly, speaking for the first time.

"It's not, though." I whispered, just wanting to cry. "I guess dad got what he wanted." I said, looking at my hand intertwined with Fred's.

"No. That's not true. He didn't want this, he just wanted you to realize that having a kid isn't as easy as it sounds, especially this young." He corrected.

"This isn't how planned to down my Christmas holidays," Fred smiled, probably trying to his how upset he was with humour.

"I'm sorry," I spoke, kissing him softly.

"It isn't your fault. Don't think it is."

"Why are you even still with me?" I asked, laughing humourlessly.

"What are you talking about?" He asked me, pulling me into his lap now that Mrs. Weasley and Remus had left.

"I could do so much worse and you could so much better," I said.

"You're lying. I could never do better than you. And we're gonna get through this together, alright?" He assured me, running his thumb over my knuckles.

"For everyone's sake, I hope you're right."

"I'm always right," he reminded me.

"Sure." I said, rubbing a hand through his hair.

"Are you tired, cause we can go to bed if you want," he said.

"I'll go myself. You can stay down here." I told him, standing up.

"No, I'll go with you-"

"I just.. want to be alone for a while." I told him and he nodded, understanding what I meant. I didn't want him to see me cry again.

"Okay, I'll at least take you up to my room." He said and I nodded.

"Thank you."

I curled up in his bed, still terribly upset. I didn't want to let myself cry in front of them, because I didn't want to look stupid. Well, stupider than I already had made myself look. I pulled the blankets up to my chin, not even wanting to face life anymore. If I was this upset now, how was I going to be able to go back to school?

I wiped the tears that were running down my cheeks and I took a deep breath. Sometimes I just wish I had a mom to help me through everything. I know Molly was here and everything, but it wasn't the same. I never had a mom that was there when I said my first word, or when I had my first anything. Technically speaking, it was my fault she's dead, so I shouldn't even be complaining. But I just wished more than anything that I could have a mom that I could go to for anything. No matter what. I wanted to be able to have a mom that I had to pretend was there. And I wanted a family that wasn't so fucked up.

I grabbed my book that I'd left on by Fred's bed, and opened it. I just wanted to get lost in the pages and never have to think about life anymore. It seems wonderful. Too bad it isn't possible.

"Athena, you need to talk to someone. Don't you remember what happened the last time you kept to yourself?"

"Remus, that, now seems like it would be fun compared to what I feel like now."

"Yea, because breaking your hand and giving yourself that scar," he pointed to the one on my face, "was so effective." He finished.

"I wasn't angry afterwards." I shrugged.

"How long did that last?" He asked, sitting beside me. "How are you?"

"Fine."

"Don't lie to yourself," He said immediately, obviously not buying my lie.

"Whatever, I'm tired." I tried.

"Stop. Please just talk to me." He begged.

"I have nothing to talk about." I shrugged.

"Whatever you say, Athena. You'll need to talk eventually, and I hope you know that I'm always here if you need me," he said, leaving me to be alone with my thoughts again.

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