Nobody Knows||Alex's Backstory

"Nobody knows what I go through every day."
Alex's life is filled with darkness. As the years progress, it just gets worse. She wants to make it stop, but she doesn't know how. Entry for The Dark Light competition.

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3. Age 16

My life is a train wreck. Nobody cares about me, and I return the favor. I'm alone in this world, and I like it that way. I'd had a few new friends in the past, but they were never as close to me as Paul. For a while, his death hurt me more than anything. But now, his death was just another useless thought in my mind. Now, I couldn't really care less. That's when the rumors started. First, it was just a name, a label if you will. They called me a homo, a slut. I knew it wasn't true, so I didn't care. It didn't matter.

Then came the death threats and notes in my locker. I was framed for drug use and smoking. Then, I actually started to use those things. If you can't beat them, join them. The threats and notes still came. I became reckless, depressed. I hurt myself. My favorite way to do it  was to light a match and burn my skin. But soon, just watching the flames dance on the match brought me comfort. They waved and flickered. They were free. I started making bigger fires in my room using chip bags and newspapers. When that got boring, I went outside and stuffed t-shirts into a garbage can, poured on gasoline, and lit it.

I would breath in the smoke. It smelled wonderful to me. I didn't care what other people thought when they saw me. Mom didn't care as long as I didn't use anything of hers. Soon, those fires were to small. I didn't want to put anyone in anger, so I stuck to what I had. I became anxious and irritable, but the flames still calmed me.

 

The first big fire was an accident. 

 

 

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