Ru knew the world was cruel; she learned that the hard way. She thought that she was the only one, but when she met Luke Hemmings and then Calum Hood, everything changed.


1. Prologue



“So, what do you need to talk about today, Ru?” my therapist, June, asks as I sit down in her office. It’s a cozy little room with paintings of owls on the walls. I shrug, not knowing how to answer her. “Your mother told me you tried to commit again. Wanna talk about that?”


I shake my head, preferring to look around the room. I had been in this room every week for a year, but something new was always added. Today, I notice a picture of Winnie the Pooh that looks like it was drawn by a four year old.


June watches me as I look around. I have no intentions on talking to her; the only reason I even come to see her, is because if I don’t, my mother will put me in a psych ward. I’m already considered a freak enough, put me in a psych ward, and the taunting would go on forever.


“Ru, do you want to get better?” June asks, and I roll my eyes in annoyance.


“Get better? I’m not sick.” I state. ‘I’m not sick’ has been the only thing I have said to June over the course of this year. I’ve repeated it at least a thousand times, but she doesn’t seem to understand.


“You have a mental illness, Ru. Didn’t your mother talk to you about this?” I had the urge to snap back at her, tell her it was a disorder, not an illness; and no, my mother did not talk to me about that. My mother doesn’t talk to me about anything. Instead, I shrug, and stare at the wall.


“I’m starting to think you’d rather die than be alive.” she says, trying to get a reaction out of me. But again, I shrug, and she sighs, resting her head on her desk. A few moments later, she looks up and stares at me.


“Living isn’t for everyone.” I feel like singing, even though she had only said it to get me to talk; this is what I’ve been trying to tell both her and my mother for the past year.


After a year in therapy, she finally understands me.


Yes this book is on Wattpad and yes I am the same author :)


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