Ru knew the world was cruel; she learned that the hard way. She thought that she was the only one, but when she met Luke Hemmings and then Calum Hood, everything changed.


6. 5.

Chapter 5


Month 15. Day 16. Continued.


When Luke drops me off at home, it's 7:45 in the morning. We had spent more than three hours at the diner and it was honestly the best three hours I've had in over a year. I can tell that my mother is awake by the light that's pouring out from the front window.


I groan, knowing I'm about to get a lecture. When I walk inside, sure enough, my mother is standing at the kitchen counter, drinking a cup of coffee. She eyes me as I walk past her, heading towards the stairs.


"Would you like to explain where you've been?" She asks. And even though her back is facing me, I shake my head. I hurry up the stairs, but realize I'm not alone when I hear her footsteps behind me.


"Ruthanne, don't you dare ignore me like that. You just disappear in the middle of the night and just walk in like you were coming home from school or something. For all I knew, you could've been dead and I never would have known. You didn't even leave a note to tell me where you were. Do you know how worried I've been about you? I was ten minutes away from calling the police."


I stop when I get into my bedroom, pulling the notebook from my sweatshirt pocket. Against my better judgement, I write down a few sentences, explaining where I've been and how I'm sorry.


"I was just with a friend. We both have nightmares and both needed some company. He took me to this diner and we sat there and talked for a few hours. Well, he talked, I wrote. His name is Luke, I met him at group. I'm sorry for not leaving a note; I didn't think we'd be gone that long, but it started raining and his car doesn't have windshield wipers, so we had to stay until the rain stopped. I'm sorry for worrying you. Next time I'll leave a note. I promise."


She reads the note and I bite my lip as she starts to tear up. "This is the first time you've communicated with me in over a year."


I shrug my shoulder and she wraps her arms around me. I stay completely still as she buries her face in my hair and rubs my back. I can feel her tears soaking my hair and I sigh. I don't understand why she's making such a big deal about this.


When she pulls away, she studies my face. "I want to meet this boy." I shake my head frantically; who knows what my mother would say to Luke, or what he'd say back to her. Oh yeah, we aren't ever going to know because it's never going to happen.


“Why can’t I meet him?” she asks. I shake my head again, laying back on my bed. Luke is a new thing in my life; something that makes me happy. There’s no way I’m letting my mother ruin that like she does everything else.


“You don’t have to meet him; he’s just a friend.” I show her the notebook before closing it and putting it away. I’m trying to signal that I’m done talking about this, but of course, my mother doesn’t get the hint.


“Of course I have to meet him. You were just out with him in the middle of the night. And I want to meet his parents too.” I rub my face and sigh, rubbing my temples. I want to yell at her, scream at her that I’m eighteen and she doesn’t have to watch my every move anymore. But instead, I keep my hands over my face, and wait until she leaves before I remove them.


After a year in therapy, my relationship with my mother is still the same.

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