Cruel

Ru knew the world was cruel; she learned that the hard way. She thought that she was the only one, but when she met Luke Hemmings and then Calum Hood, everything changed.

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33. 31.

Chapter 31

 

Month 18. Day 13.

 

The next morning, I wake up with that nagging voice in the back of my mind.

 

“Calum is going to leave you.” It says. “He’s not going to stick around if you won’t have sex with him.”

 

So I decide to go to the one person who I know I can talk to about anything: Luke. I knock on his door and hear a mumbled, “come in”, so I walk inside and shut the door behind me.

 

“Hey,” I say quietly, not moving from my spot in front of the door.

 

“Hey,” He says, sitting up. “What’s up?”

 

“Can I talk to you?” I ask and he nods. “It’s about…. something personal.”

 

“Of course you can, Ru.” He says and motions for me to sit down. I take a seat in his office chair and play with my fingers.

 

“It’s about sex.”

 

He raises an eyebrow, “Okay.. What about it?”

 

“You know how I was abducted and raped, right?” He nods. “Well, with Calum and I getting closer-”

 

“Stop.” He says, cutting me off. He shakes his head and sighs.

 

“What?”

 

“I don’t want to hear anything about yours and Calum’s sex life.”

 

“But you said-”

 

“I don’t care what I said, Ru!” He says, looking straight at me. “I didn’t know it was going to be about you having sex with Calum!”

 

“Why not?” I ask. “What’s the big deal?”

 

He sighs and rubs his face. “Just get out of here, Ru. I’m not talking to you about this.” I frown and stand up, walking out of the room. I’m walking back towards Calum’s room when I bump into Ashton.

 

“Hey pretty lady, watch it.” He says, smiling at me. I roll my eyes playfully and smile.

 

“Hey, sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.”

 

“Something on your mind?” He asks and raises an eyebrow.

 

I shrug. “Eh, I don’t know if you’d be interested in talking about it.”

 

“Ru, I don’t care what it’s about; you can talk to me about anything.” I bite my lip and nod.

 

“Not out here, though. Your room?” He nods and leads me to his bedroom and plops down on his bed. I shut the door behind us and sit down across from him.

 

“Whenever you’re ready, just go ahead.”

 

I take a deep breath. “Okay, so the reason I met Luke, the reason I was in therapy was because I was abducted and raped for fourteen days in a row.” His eyes widen at my words but I signal to him to stay quiet. “And now Calum and I are getting more serious in… that way and I don’t know if I’m ready and I don’t know how to become ready when all I can think about is being raped and how being raped might tamper with me having sex with Calum and I don’t know what to do.”

 

He sits there, staring at me for a few minutes before he starts talking. “I don’t know how having sex with Calum is going to compare with the rapes. It may be hard at first and you might hate it, but if Calum really cares about you, he’ll understand and stop. You just have to communicate with him, Ru. And trust me, you’ll learn to love it eventually.” I blush at his words.

 

“And if I don’t?”

 

He smiles and pulls me against him. “I promise, you will. And if you don’t, you can punch me in the balls.”

 

I make a face. “I don’t want to touch your balls. Can I have that offer in a different place on your body?”

 

He laughs and lets me go. “No, because I know you’ll enjoy yourself eventually, Ru. It’s fun… A lot of fun.”

 

I blush and cover my ears. “Okay okay lalalala I don’t want to hear about it anymore.”

 

I stand up and Ashton slaps my butt as I walk out. “Good luck, Ru!”

 

                        ***

 

Three hours after my talk with Ashton, Calum and I are standing in the middle of “Mali’s”. The workers have finished the expansions and the place is looking amazing. I don’t think we have stopped smiling since we walked in.

 

“Oh my gosh I can see this place coming to life already!” I say, my words echoing through the empty first floor.

 

“This is so cool!” Calum says as he walks over and hugs me, leaning his weight on me. I laugh and he tightens his grip on me. “Mali would be so proud.”

 

I smile and hug him back. “I’m sure she is proud, babe. She’s probably smiling like a mad man up there.” I say, looking up.

 

He smiles and kisses my cheek. “I really hope so.” I pull away from him and smile.

 

“Race you to the top floor!” I take off running, pressing the elevator button and stepping in as soon as it opens. I quickly hit the “close door” button before Calum can make it there. I stick my tongue out at him, both of us knowing he’ll now have to take the stairs.

 

I press the four button and the elevator creaks it’s way up each floor. When it opens on the top floor, I step out and sit in the middle of the room. I take out my phone and time how long it takes him to get up all four flights of stairs: three minutes and 14 seconds.

 

“I hate you.” He mumbles, his breathing uneven. He plops down on the floor next to me and buries his face in my lap. I can’t help but think dirty thoughts as his face presses against my thighs.

 

I play with his hair as he gets his breathing under control. “You don’t hate me.” He turns around so he can look at me, his head still in my lap.

 

“Nah, you’re right. I don’t hate you.” I smile and lean down, pecking his lips.

 

“Good, cause I don’t hate you either.”

 

He laughs. “Well that’s a relief!” I smile and play with his hair. “Where were you this morning? I woke up and you weren’t in bed.”

 

I chew on my lip. “I was talking to Ashton.”

 

“About what?” He asks, his eyes closed.

 

I sigh quietly. “Sex.” Calum’s eyes open and he sits up.

 

“Why would you be talking to Ashton about sex?”

 

“Because of what happened yesterday at the mall.” I say quietly and look down at the floor.

 

“What about it?”

 

“It brought up…. Memories.”

 

“Memories of…?” He asks, lifting my chin with his fingers.

 

“Memories of the rape.” I say and he frowns. “I-I’m scared that I won’t be able to enjoy sex. I’m scared that I’ll just keep thinking about the rape and I-”

 

“Ru,” He says quietly, cutting me off. “You don’t have to be scared.” He lifts me onto his lap and cups my cheeks. “I promise that I won’t push you into doing anything you don’t want to do. If you want me to stop, I’ll stop. If you want to wait a while, we’ll wait. You just have to open that mouth of yours and tell me.” He pecks my lips softly and hugs me. “I promise, you won’t ever have to do something you don’t want to do when it comes to me.”

 

“Thank you.” I whisper quietly and he responds by squeezing me. And we sit there like that for what seems like a century.

 

After a year in therapy, I’ve found someone who understands me.



 

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