Written in 2011. First fic I ever wrote.
-Harry and Draco's hatred all collide in one heated night. Harry's confused; he doesn't know what happened, but he knows one thing. He can't stop thinking about Draco.


9. Confessions

I tumbled into the Gryffindor commons, the tears was almost stopped falling; but that didn’t mean I didn’t still feel the pain, as if my heart was being ripped in to pieces, over and over again.

 When I tried to make my way to the dormitory, I literally walked directly into Ron, not seeing that he had walked in front of me and was talking to me, asking me what had happened to me.

I didn’t see him; and I didn’t see Hermione when she tried to walk in front of me, like Ron had done, to get my attention. I didn’t hear them when they talked to me; I barely felt their touch, when they took one of my arms each and lead me upstairs. The only thing I could feel, that the memorized sweetness of Draco in my arms. That and then pain I felt about everything he had said to me.

Ron and Hermione led me over to my bed and gently puffed me down on it and sat on each side of me. There I sad, feeling like my head was being torn out, thrown out on a road to get run over by a truck, to then get put back in my breast. Before being torn out again and jumped on!

“Harry?” Hermione’s voice. But where did it come from? I was extremely dazed and couldn’t really find out what was right and what was wrong.

I looked around and tried to find out where she was. I saw her almost as the first thing, when I was looking around. She was right next to me, how could I not know that? Well I was extremely dazed after all... And it was actually a little hard for me to see her, with my eyes swimming with the tears.

“What happened Harry?” She whispered caringly. “This isn’t good Harry, You have to tell us what happened to you!” with these words, the tears started to fall from my eyes again, as I sobbed violently and was uncontrollably shaking all over my body.

That was when I felt Ron patting me awkwardly on the shoulder, not really feeling comfortable in this situation. “Okay, I know I’m not exactly the most emotional person, Harry. But Hermione is right. You need to tell us!” was all he could say.

I sat there, crying and unable to say anything, for quite a while. “Harry?” Hermione said, again. That was when I threw myself at her, sobbing loudly.

“He won’t…” I started, but my sobs took over and I didn’t get to finish whatever I was going to say.

“Who won’t?” Ron asked while Hermione held me and tried to comfort me the best she could

“Draco…” I whispered when I finally had the control over my voice, to get the name over my lips.

Ron leaped up from the bed, his head slowly coloring slightly red. “What have that squalid little cockroach done to you!?” He almost yelled. Which only make me cry even harder. He didn’t understand it! It wasn’t what had had done, but what he hadn’t! And he wasn’t a cockroach… Not in my head after all.

“You… You don’t understand!” I finally managed to say in between the sobs. I looked up at him with red eyes, out through the tears, as he stood there and looked like his brain was about to explode, trying to figure out what I meant by that. Surely no, he didn’t understand. So he moved over to let himself dump down and onto the bed, by my side.

“No… Maybe I don’t.” He said, looking down at me. “But maybe you could help me understand then?” He suggested, trying not to sound heartless, since he wasn’t just telling me about his pity for me.

“I… -” I tried to find the words, because I knew that if I was ever to tell them about what happened… It had to be now! “You have to promise that…” I sobbed again. “You won’t freak out.” Sob. “When I tell you this!” I inhaled loudly, trying to calm myself.

Hermione looked down at me, where I was still clinging to her for strength and comfort. “We won’t Harry. Just let us know what’s making you so miserable!” She promised and Ron nodded confirming.

This was going to take all my strength, but I had to do it, I had to tell them… Knowing that I needed much more strength than I had, I took a deep breath and opened my mouth. “Around a month ago… I was on the seventh floor, in the room of requirements. I don’t even remember why I went there. But the point is that I did.” I started.

“Wait, what? You went there alone, without us?” Ron asked a little unsatisfied, but shut his mouth when Hermione slapped him on the arm.

“Yes. I did. You know I wander around by myself sometimes, I’ve done that since our first year, remember? Now don’t interrupt, just let me get over with it!” I said, trying to use all my courage at keeping up with telling this story.

I blinked a few times and licked my lips before I continued. “I went in there and… I was for some reason really tired, so a bed was in there. I lay down on it and was just thinking about life. How everything would have been if my parents were still alive.” I dragged my palm over my face, to dry off some of the tears.

“Well, it wasn’t long before I hear the door. When I lifted my head to see who u could be, I saw Draco. Draco was standing there, in that black suit of his.” It was getting harder and harder to not just scream that I couldn’t tell, but somehow I managed to keep telling. “We didn’t say much and I really don’t know how it happened… It just did… -”

“What did?” Ron asked, earning another slap and a strict glare from Hermione.

“Thank you.” I said to her, before picking up where I left. “Draco came to me, in the bed where I was sitting. We were looking at each other with the hatred we usually always had for each other. But this night… this night our hate was turned into something completely different.” I gulped and bitch-slapped myself a couple of times, in my mind. “I… I had sex with Draco!” suddenly it had just slipped out of my mouth.

Hermione and Ron both looked at me with wide eyes and their jaws hanging, almost touching the ground. There they sat, staring at me. “Excuse me?” Hermione finally said.

“You heard me. It happened, and ever since it did, it has driven me insane!” I shot at them both. “I’m not gay! I’ve never felt attracted to any guy before! But Draco is just… It’s different!  But I really do believe that I am madly in love with him.” I looked at Ron. “That would explain why I didn’t say anything, that day; in the hall… And my ‘acting odd’, right?” I asked and looked over at Hermione.

“Yes, I guess so.” She only said.

I breathed heavily a couple of times, dried a couple of new tears away, before I opened my mouth again. “What happened today… He ripped my heart out…” I sobbed at this, even though I hadn’t sobbed for a while now. “He wrote me a note… I suppose he slit it on my book… when he pushed his way past us, in the hall when we walked to ‘Charms’…” I shrugged, because I didn’t know if that was when I got the note, but it was most likely. “He asked me to meet me in the room of requirements. Tonight… That was where I came from… Just now…” The thought about it make my eyes flow over again. “He told me… That he cares… But that it has to be over… There ain’t any chances…” I hang my head and let out a deep sigh of desperation to be Draco’s.

Hermione swayed from side to side, still holding me. I started to relax even though the pain was still ripping me apart, on the inside. While rocking in Hermione’s arms I got more and more drowsy and started to slowly drift away.

I was almost fully asleep, though still aware of what happened around me. That was when I felt Ron and Hermione gently moving me to lay down on the bed and walked away. Though I heard they weren’t walking long. I suppose they sat down in Ron’s bed.

“Hermione? There’s something I need to tell you.”I heard Ron say.

“Me too…” Hermione’s voice.

“You first?” was suggested by the red haired one, of my friends.

“Ron, I don’t want any of us to end heartbroken like Harry is now! It’s too hard to look at and it would be even harder to be the heartbroken one!” Hermione stated.

“Me neither… Hermione, I… -” Ron started but didn’t get further for a little while before;

“I’m in love with you!” They both burst out at the same time. Nothing more was said for a while. I suppose they were both a little shy and had a hard time finding anything more to say.

That was when drifted completely away and fell asleep.

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