To everyone who fucked me over, played me, tried me or lied to me, because you're all dead to me now
// Original product of Olivia Turner. Do not copy or share without permission. ©2015-2016


23. Twenty Three


"I'm glad you're okay now. Anyways, I heard you and Karen are an item again" my mom says.

"Yeah, we are" I say. "Can she come over for dinner?"

"I'd love for to! She's always been such a nice girl and I was a bit disappointed when you two broke off"

"Me too"

"She's much better than that...purple-haired freak"

"Mom, she's my best friend. I wasn't, and am not going to date her"

"Oh" she huffs, "Oops"

"Yeah. Is six an okay time?" I ask.

"Of course. Go shower and stuff.  The maid is making her killer spaghetti"

"Okay" I jog upstairs to the bathroom.

I turn on the shower and look at myself in the mirror.

I'm such a pathetic boy.

My parents don't approve of me or my friend taste.

Maybe I need to find more friends like Karen.


I wish I had more friends like Allen.

My mom loves him and his personality.

So does Jamie.

They both were telling me how they were praying us two would make up.

I'm glad we did.

I need more of him in my life.

"Hey sweetheart" Jamie walks in.

"Hi!" I smile big.

"You seem to be a lot happier since he came over today"

"I am" I keep smiling, "whatever you said, you were right. I did feel alone without him"

"Hole complete?"

"For sure" I nod.

"Well, the medicine should kick in soon, and kill most of the sickness by then end of this weekend, and then you'll be in good enough condition to go home. You'll still need to come ever Wednesday and Saturday for therapy"

"But I'm paralyzed" I sigh.

"Yes, but we don't know if it'll be temporary, so we have to keep your legs strong and healthy in case you end up walking again. We don't want you to walk around like a noodle forever"

I laugh at that.


A week goes by.

Andrea's getting out of the hospital today (Sunday).

I didn't see her the rest of the week because of school and other things.

She invited me over for dinner with her and her mom.

"Alright, be home soon. Tell Karen I said hi" my mom waves.

I lied to her about where I was going.

She doesn't like Andrea.

I arrived at her house.

"Allen! Hey, Andrea's in the kitchen finishing up the dinner. Come in" her mom says.

"Thank you" I say and step inside.

She leads me to the dining room.

"Andrea! He's here!"

I see Andrea wheel  herself in.


"Hey" I walk over and give her a side hug.

"I'll make the rolls. You two go and catch up.

She moved her room downstairs because of her condition.

She immediately starts talking about how excited she is to be home.

"I'm so glad we're friends again! I was thinking about how I need more friends like you. More of you in my life, because you seriously make me happier than ever"

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, and my mom absolutely loves you and your personality! You're great"

She half smiles.

I need to tell her.


"Yes?" She looks up from fiddling with a picture frame on her dresser.

"My mom doesn't exactly like you"

She frowns.

"Awe, why not?"

"She feels like your personality doesn't suit my friendship needs. She was saying how she missed Karen and how sweet she was"

I kind of lied about the friendship needs part.

"Oh, well that's fine"

"She thought you and I were dating though"

"Oh" she smiles.

"But, I was like, mom I never did date her and I won't"


Damn am I that bad?

"And...I just feel like Karen gets me more"

"W-What?" I say.

"Just...She was my first love"

"Okay? I'm not trying to ruin that"

"You kind of are"


That slipped.


Hurt covers her eyes.


"I-I mean, she doesn't want me to hang around you anymore"

That's somewhat a lie. She said 'as much.'

"Okay, so I assume you lied to everyone about where you are right now?"

I inhale deeply.


"Maybe you should like go"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'm not too hungry anyways and I don't want to make dinner awkward"

"Oh, okay. Bye" I wave and leave.


As soon as the front door shuts I scream in agony.

"Why why why why why why?! Why me?!"


As soon as the door shuts behind me, I hear her yelling.

"After everything that has happened to me, this happens!"

I sigh.

"I want to end this all!!!"

My body shatters to pieces.

"Allen, you didn't do anything. You just need new friends"

That's what repeats and my head.

And that's what I believe.


"Andrea?" My mom rushes in.


"Where's Allen?"

"Home, mom! He told me we can't be friends! He said I don't get him like Karen does!"

She hugs me tight.

"Mom...Nobody cares about me except you and Jamie. I admit that I should believe that's enough, but then again, it's not"

I don't shed a tear.

I'm flustered as fuck.


"You did? Allen, why?" Karen asks.

"Because...She holds me down. She constantly is in need and it makes me sad and I want to live a care free life with you"

"That's just wrong. Wrong, Allen. I shouldn't have said what I did that one time. A real fucking friend goes with the other through the pain. To-fucking-gether. Get your shit straight. That's insane. She is hurting so much and you lie to her about what all of said so she'll think that it's our faults and that we peer-pressured you into saying that, but honey you're way off. You will never just live a care free life. You need to learn that other people need you the most"


"Don't Karen me. Call me up when common sense kicks in. And by the way"

She stops in my doorway.

"Did you actually comprehend what 'I want to end it all' really means?"

I sit there.

"Didn't think so, you ass" she leaves.

No I have no one.

Is this how Andrea feels?



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