1-800-IDGAF

R.I.P.
To everyone who fucked me over, played me, tried me or lied to me, because you're all dead to me now
// Original product of Olivia Turner. Do not copy or share without permission. ©2015-2016

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42. Forty Two

~Andrea~

"I didn't kiss you because my head was in the clouds about Karen. Okay, I lied to you. Because I was trying to spare her feelings and not ruin our friendship"

"Like yours and mine?" I ask.

"Y-Yes"

"Why would that ruin our friendship?"

~Allen~

"I kissed you because I like you. No, no, I don't. I love you" I laugh, "I'm so in love with you. And more and more every day, I love you a thousand more times than the previous day"

She laughs a little.

"You're joking"

"You think so?" I glare at her.

Her small smile fades.

"W-Well now I'm not so sure"

"Andrea, I'm not, okay? I'm sorry that this could possibly ruin everything, but my mom said I need to tell you, and I can't lie to you anymore"

"I kissed you again for a reason" she crosses her arms, "let's go inside"

I follow her to the living room and sit on the couch.

"What reason?"

"As soon as you held my hand the first time in the ER, I had this electricity run through my veins. I felt different"

"Oh"

"But, I've been through a lot. So um, let's just hold it off, maybe?" She says.

"Oh, yeah totally. That's what I was thinking" I reply.

"Thanks for understanding" she stands up in sync with me and gives me a hug.

"Okay, well I should get going" I say slowly.

"Alright"

We say goodbyes and I leave just as her mom pulls in.

~Andrea~

"Hey sweetie" my mom sits the keys on the counter.

"I'm going for a drive" I snatch them and rush out to the car.

I climb in the driver's side and shut the door abruptly.

I slam my head on the wheel and the horn honks.

I start the car and pull out.

'Not About Angels' by Birdy starts playing.

I drive underneath the canopy of pink trees and begin crying.

I don't cry because I'm not strong. I cry because I have feelings.

"Andrea, all you want is him, but you know your heart isn't ready. You'll just ruin it" I say to myself.

Voices inside my head keep telling me I'm going to screw it up if we date.

I can't have another part of me break off and fall into the pit of lost memories where I fucked up.

I need to keep Allen. I don't know when I'll believe I'm ready, and I don't know when he will either.

~Allen~

My heart broke when she said not now.

But it melted when she said she felt the same.

She may not as much as me, but I'm fine with that.

It's a win/lose.

"Just wait Allen" I say to myself.

I don't know when she'll be ready, and I don't think she does either.

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