Your Not You

Read the first chapter thats the intro. it was to long to put in here.....


3. Cold corn dog

I woke up to my alarm going off. Fucking hell. I sit up and realize it wasn't an alarm it was a text from Nicole saying we don't have to go into work for the next week and her and Michael, Ashton, Calum and Luke went out to eat and that they would bring me food back and to wish her luck. I did. Knowing what a ass he can be. I have to pee. I go into my bathroom and do my morning routine. I showered, did my hair and make up and then brushed my teeth. By time i was done it was 12. Where the fuck is my food. I plug in my phone to the speaker and blast some music. I need to eat i cant wait any longer. I start cooking some eggs and toast. Once it was done i sat down and started to eat. Just as i was taking a bit 18 came on. I laugh because of the memories. 


"Kylie!!!" Nicole yells

"Yeah?" I yell back.

"I want a tattoo." Nicole pouts.

"Same but we arnt 18 yet."

"Fucking hell. I bet i can find someone to do it."

"What would you want?" I ask her.

" a naughty tattoo, in a place that Michael wants to get to." She winks.

"But his mom still drives him to school." I reply. We both burst out into laughter. 

And thats the day Nicole and i got tattoos. She got a music note tattooed low enough no one can see it unless she is naked. so in a naughty place. And I got once that says "real bands save real fans." on my ribs.


I should start cleaning up. 

"I dont want to clean." I whine to my self. Groning i change the song to SKH. Its been on replay sense it came out to be honest. Blasting the song I pick up the dished and start to wash them while singing.

"My friend left college 'cause it felt like a job
His mom and dad both think he’s a slob
He’s got a shot though"

"No not really." I hear a voice sing behind me. I jumped ten feet in the air throwing my plate at whoever it was. He dodged it and it shattered on the floor. Noticing it was Luke, after i throw the plate, I started to laugh.

"Sorry. You scared me." i giggle but then i remember what happened last night and turn to the sink dropping my smile with out another word.

"Hey um. Kylie. Can I um, talk to you." He asks lowly. 

I just nodded bracing myself for more rude comments. I walk to the broom closet garbing the broom waiting for him to began. 

"Everyone went to the mall and i didnt feel like shopping because i needed to talk to you. Oh um here i brought you back some food." he says and this is when i finally noticed the box in his hand.

"Thanks but i already ate." I said flatly.

"Oh. Okay. Ill just erm put in the fridge." he says looking at the ground. I felt bad for the poor boys.. Wait no I dont.

After sweeping up the broken plate i go unplug my phone to sit in the living room on the couch.

"Kylie?" Luke yells out to me.

"Livingroom." I answer 

"So I wanted to apologize to you." He says lowly sitting next to me.

"I dont forgive you." I answer looking at the tv. I didnt want to keep this conversation going.

"Kylie please let me explain." He pleaded. I roll my eyes getting irritated.

"Explain what Luke? You are a asshole. Those things you said last night cut deep to me. Ive idolized you for a good 3 years of my life Luke. I though the world of you. But last night you ruined it." I yell trying to hold back my tears. I couldnt even look at him. For crying out loud THE Luke Hemmings is in MY house talking to ME and I cant stand the sight of him. My luck huh.

"Im so sorry. I didnt mean any of what I said. Im just going through something and i was having a hard day yesterday and i took it out on you guys. Kylie please look at me."

I couldnt bring my self to look up at him. I didnt want him to see the tears in my eyes. But i guess I didnt have a choice because when i didnt he got up and keeled in front of me taking my face in his hands. He looked heartbroken. He too his thumb and wiped the tears that are going down my cheeks away. I couldnt help my self. I looked into his bright blue eyes and got lost because the next thing I know he was standing up and sitting next to me. 

"What made you act like this?" I ask. 

"I rather not talk about it." He said as he hung his head low.

"I deserve answers Luke. After the way you treated me."

"Kylie. Im not ready to share this. Holy fuck!" 

Pissed I nod and stand up walking out the door. If he didnt want me to forgive him that his problem. I walk down the stairs and head to the little music shop next to our building. I need to Nicole's birthday present. I plan on getting her a few new cds before her big gift. Oh did I mention our birthdays are the same day? No. sorry. Our birthday is in 5 days so im not sure if the boys will even be here or how we will feel about them after but i already paid for her gift last month. i should tell you what i got here huh? I got her all the 5sos merch that she didnt have. Like all the newest ones and also i got her a gift card to Needles ( a tattoo shop) she wants a new tattoo of their lyrics on her forearm. 

I walk in and saw the boys and Nicole looking through CD's. Shit guess Ill have to do it later.

"Kylie?" Ashton screams at me even thought im like 2 feet away. 

"Hey ash. What are you guys doing?" 

"Remeber them old songs we wrote in my note app?" nicole asks.

I felt my face drop and all the color leave. 

"I found them while going through her phone and made her tell me the whole story." Michael states proudly.

"The story?" i ask lowly hoping she made something up. 

"She told you who its about?" i ask tarafifed.

"No just said you two wrote it about a ex of hers." Calum shrugged. Nicole pulled me away. "I didnt know what to tell them. I forgot it was in my phone." she whispers making sure they cant hear.

"Should we tell them the truth?" I match her voice.

"I mean do you want Luke to know?"

"Do you want Michael to know?"

"I want to say no but something in me wants the shit to know."

"I dont want Luke to know."

"Then we will stick to the ex thing." Nicole says looking over to the boys. 

"No. Follow my lead."

"I changed my mind." She yelled following after me.

"too late."

Before she says anything else the boys looked at us. 

"Changed you mind about what?" Calum asked

. Im not going to let Luke assholeness ruin Nicole and Michael becuase i see the way them to look at each other even though its been a day you can tell them two like the looks of eachother.

"The story she told isnt true, but anyways what about the song?"

"Kylie What the hell?" Nicole asked confused. "It is the truth."

"No its not." I look at her.

"Whats the real story?" Michael asks.

"She wrote it about Michael and i helped a bit."

"KYLIE!" Nicole says covering her face.

"Wait now you have to play it!" Michael pleades.

"NO!" Nicole screams.

"Why?" Ashton asked with sad eyes.

"I cant sing." Nicole says and looks away.

"Its true we both sound like we are dying when we sing." I laugh nicole glares.

"Plus its just lyrics no music to go with the words because we arent musically talented."

"Can you at lest read it out loud?" Michael asked looking at Nicole with pleading eyes.

"Not in public sorry." she said thinking that would put a end to it. It didnt. Michael looked at the boys who looked back at him he picked Nicole up and ran out the door. We followed him and ended back at the house. 

"PUT ME DOWN!" Nicole screamed.

"Not until we get there!" Michael said.



"What..How. What?" 

"I can stalk to you know." You could practicably hear the smirk in his voice.


"Facebook." he simpily answered while opening the door to the apartment. 

"not okay." She says as he puts him down. 

"i friended you." He shrugs. 

"Shit Michael Clifford friended me on facebook." Nicole says walking into the other room.




Nicole came back out with her mouth and eyes wide open. Shocked to what he just said.

"Thats from twitter." she states.

"I found all your accounts."

"And saw all your dms to me."

"Please stop and forget everything in life." Nicole said falling to the floor dramtically.

"Okay but you have to read the lyrics."


"No not them ones." he said with a striaght face.

Nicole face palms. Michael made a o shape with his mouth once he realized.

"Nicole please read it." Calum pleads.

"Please." Ashton said after.

"Whats going on?" Luke asked walking out of the room with a blank look.

"Nicole wrote a song about michael. Well its just words no music." Ashton says.

"You have to read it!" luke smiles. What?

"Fine!" she gave up.

We all go into the livingroom. Michael, Luke, and I sat on the couch. Ashton sat in the chair and Nicole stood in the middle of the room. Unlockin her phone she begains to turn to face the wall.

" I am not looking at you."

"Fine." I say.

"and you kylie has to read her parts!" she said and i could hear the evil in her voice. She wanted this though.

"No." I said leaning as far back into the couch as i could. I didnt stay very long because Luke pushed me up by Nicole.
"No" I repeat

"yes" and Nicole grabed me holding me in my spot.



NICOLE: Why do I just lie awake and think of you?
I need some sleep.
Tomorrow I have things to do.
Everytime I close my eyes I see your face,
So I try to read, but all I do is lose my place.

ME: Am I obsessed with you?
I do my best not to want you.
But I do all the time.
I do all the time.

NICOLE: I just had to call you up and say hello.
I know it's 3 AM.
And I saw you awhile ago.
But I still have this aching pain to hear your voice
To know your there
I don't seem to have any choice.

ME: Am I obsessed with you?
I do my best not to want you.
But I do all the time.
I do all the time.

Oh yeah.
I'm so sorry I just had to wake you up.
I feel so lonely by myself.
Is this the way it feels when you're in love?
Or is this something else?


ME: Am I obsessed with you?
I do my best not to want you.
But I do all the time.
I do all the time.

Oooh yeah

NICOLE: But I do all the time, I want you all the time.
Am I obsessed with you?


"That could actually be a hit. You should sell it!" Ash smiles hugging both of us.

"No! Dont i like how it was meant for me I dont want any one else singing it... or saying it." Michael says picking Nicole up and spinning her around.

"Its really good." Luke smiles at us.

"Thanks Luke." Nicole returns the smiles. 

"Are you too cool now?" I ask.

"Yeah he apologized." She said.


"um Kylie can I talk to you in your room?" Luke asked me. His eyes had a tint of sadness and hope in them.

"I um. sure." I say. we both walk down the hall to my room. 

Dont get me wrong im flat out pissed still but i still cant seam to say no to him when he looks at me with them big blue eyes. I closed my door and walked over to my bed. Luke wasnt too far down. He looked over to my bed and i nodded. Sitting next to me he took my hand in his his sending electricity through my arm into my whole body. He must of felt the same because when i looked up he was already looking at me. Staring into each others eyes for god knows how long Luke leaned in and kissed me. I didnt pull away I couldnt help my self I kissed him back. I mean if Luke Hemmings, asshole or not kissed you would you not kiss back? I think NOT! The kiss lasted until he pulled back for air.

"Sorry." he said looking at the ground. I nod not know what to say. i mean my idol just kissed me.

"I didnt mean for that to happen i wanted to talk about earlier." He continues Blowing off the kiss I asked him to tell me.

"Well you see once you left i realized you were right. I should tell you. I know you are not going to like it though thats why i dont want to tell you."

I look at him. My heart feels like its going to be crushed. What if he says its because he knows i like him but im not enough. I mean im not skinny pretty or anything special. I guess he saw me start to get upset because he took my hand again.

"It has nothing to do with you i promise. And kylie im sorry for saying all them harsh things last night. Just please know thats not the real me."

I didnt say anything so he continued.

"You cant tell anyone if I tell you okay?" he asks.


"Not even Nicole. Trust me you are going to want to but you cant. It will ruin the band."

"Luke what is it?" I asked nervously.

"Youre going to hate me."

"Not sure thats posablie. Even after last night i couldnt even bring my self to dislike you." I chuckle nercously.

"I wouldnt blame you if you did."

"I dont." I say still looking at the floor.

"Well trust me youll hate me after you hear this."

"I wont just tell me." i said starting to become impatient. Luke squeezed my hand and took a deep breath.

"You see the only reason we all asked to come here was because management wanted us to get a girlfriend and they told us about you and Nicole. Ashton and Calum already did their time and now its Michael and I's time. You are not supposed to know."

"Wait." i said sitting there trying to understand this. So the band I am madly inlove with wants to use us to trick fans and get more publiciy? Are you fucking serouis.

"So you plan on using me and Michael plans on using Nicole." I ask taking my hand away from Lukes.

"Its not like that."

"How the fuck do you figure?"

"We didnt want to Kylie. We are being forced to do it."

"And then youll leave and break our hearts. What about Nicole. She cant handle this and neather can I! I cant let you do this to us." I say storming out of the room. Yelling to Michael.

"YOU MOTHER FUCKING COLD CORN DOG!" I scream run towards him. 

"What?" Michael laughs but stops once my face comes across his face.

"KYLIE!" Nicole yells.

Michael rubs his cheeck and i turn to Luke who was following me. I slap him too.

"Ow!" he says now rubbing his check.

"You all are fucking done get your shit out of my house!" i spit angerly.

Ashton looks at luke pissed. "Dude you told her?"

"I had to ashton you dont understand."

"Told her what?" Nicole asked still confused hugging Michael and he hugged her back which made me ten times more angry.

"Why did you do that dude. You fucked us all over!" Calum sighs.

"What is going on." Nicole asks again looking at Michael.

"Nicole sit down please." Michael says giding her to the chair.

"Can someone fucking tell me what is going on." Shes getting mad.

"Listen babe just know i didnt plan on actually likeing you this much. You two are actually really cool and we really do like you. Please dont be angry at me. I had no choice."

"Mike." Nicole asked she looks like i did before Luke told me.

"Tell her clifford or I will." I nastly spoke at him.

"I Nicole just-" I couldnt deal with this anymore 

"They are using us for publicity." I glare at them. Nicole went white. I could see her heart braking. She looked at Michael. 

"Please tell me thats not true. Mikey please." Nicole said with tears falling down her face.

"Nicole i really like you. It wasnt our idea. Management said if we didnt they will make sure the band will never make music anymore. Im so sorry. Please dont hate me." he looked as if he was going to cry. 

"Are you fucking kidding me." she cried pushing him away walking over to me.

"Nicole please."

"So you really dont like us. You were just using us." 

"Its not like that. We do like you."

"You know the said thing is we probably would of helped if you guys were honest about it. so what was you plan?" Nicole asked now she was done cryin. her face was red and matched mine. 

"they were going to leave us make us look bad." I snort.

"Im going to call my unlce and you guys are out of here." Nicole yelled and stormed off in her room.

"Kylie you have to understand." Calum pleaded. 

"No, you knew calum. You came in my room and tried to make me feel better knowing that you guys were going to hurt me anyways. Nicole was write you could of told us and we could of went along with it. That would of hurt less then this." I say and then walked into the kitchen. I didnt know what to do. Cry? Scream? smash things? so i just sat at the table and stared at the wall. No one came in to talk to me which i thanked god for because i would of throw shit at them. I cant believe this is happening. The four people who saved my life is runin it. How could they? 

I wish we never agreed to this. I guess people are who the seem to be. Never trust anyone.

"Kylie." nicole walked in still crying.

"Are they gone?"

"No they cant leave. We signed a contract. Uncle scott said we cant get out of it."

"What do we do? I feel so used."

"thats becuase we were. I cant believe they did that."

"How can people be so mean?" 

"What did we ever do Kylie."
"Live." I snorted.

"What are we going to do?"

"Wait a week until they are gone and stay away from them as much as we can."

"I dont want them here." Nicole cried into her hands. Thats when we heard smashing sounds form the other room. I look at nicole and she look at me. We both got up and ran to the room where the sound were coming from. Michael had Luke pined against the wall. The tv and the lamps ever smashed on the floor. The couch was upside down. 

"I SHOULD KILL YOU!" Michael screemed. Ashton and Calum came running in and tried to pull him off of Luke but it was like they were pushing a brick house.

"LET GO DUDE!" Ashont scream.

"Its not worth this." calum tried. 

Nothing worked. Luke was starting to go limp. 

"MICHAEL!" Nicole screamed and he looked over to Nicole. She looked petrified. Then he looked at me and i was so scared i was hiding behind Nicole. Michael dropped Luke. The two other boys ran to his side as he was gasping for air. I dont know what happened but my legs carried me to Luke and I was holding his hand. He was looking at me still trying to breath. 

"Its okay. Breath in and out." I cry. 

I sat there holding Lukes head in my chest on the floor. 

"Im sorry i acted that way. You told me before you did it thats all that should matter." I cried out this is my fault. If i didnt flip out like i did he would of never almost died!

A few minutes later I was still crying and holding Luke. Nicole took Michael into her room calming him down. Ashton got some water for Luke and the started helping Calum clean the living room. 

"Its my fault." I heard a weak voice say. 

"Luke you are okay thank god!" i said hugging him. 

"Kylie why are you being so nice to me?" 

"I dont know. All I know is I need to be by your side." I said honestly.

"Im sorry."

"Lets not talk about it right now okay. Lets get you in my room and rest up."

I stood up and helped him up and walk to my room. He sat down on my bed and laid down. I crawled in next to him. 

"Try to sleep okay?" I said rubbing his head softly. 

Not to long later he was asleep. Who could blame him. He almost died! 

Start to question myself. Why do I care? I mean he hurt me.  But no one should get chocked out. Why did Michael even do that? Am I still mad at them? Of course! Should I forgive them? Should I go along with it so they dont have to lose the band? What should I do. Before I could think any more i heard my phone beep from my pockets. 

Nicole: Is Luke okay?

Me: Yeah he is sleeping now.

Nicole: Michael cried him self to sleep. He feels so bad.

Me: Why did he even do that?

Nicole: He said becuase he didnt want to lose us?

Me: Serously? 

Nicole: I feel like i need to help them with this whole thing. Like i dont want to but i need to do you know what I mean?

Me: I get it i was just thinkin about that. Should we.

Nicole: I have to.. After everything the helpped me with 

Me: Yeah me too.

Nicole: So we are going to help them?

Me: Yeah. We will tell the boys tomorrow. 

Nicole: Take a nap okay? Ill talk with Ashton and Calum . when you wake we will talk more.

Me: Okay. Nicole. I love you

Nicole: I love you too... You cold corn dog ahah

Me: I was so mad i couldnt think of anything!

Nicole: Imma start saying that lol  go to sleep ill wake you later.

Thats what I did i laid next to luke and feel asleep to a land where no drama existed.


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